Narcissism, a GOOD trait

[Elfboy]

Either way - with either score - would indicate NPD, though it's something that shouldn't really be self-diagnosed by an on-line test.

I remember being frightened at one point that I had BPD, but I have been reasurred by multiple therapists that I do not have this disorder at all. Having abandonment issues =/= BPD...sometimes people think they have a certain thing when they read about it on-line, but it's important to have it diagnosed.

I don't particularly care one way or the other. that being said, I think anyone with anyone with high confidence and high self esteem would probably score much high than 15 on this test.

 

[Thalassa]

That's because you rated yourself.

Isn't it obvious? Seriously...

you make a thread thinking that NPD is cool, then you take a test which confirms you have a cool disorder.


Awesome.

And if the test would have been reliable at all, nobody would have needed a doctor's diagnosis.

I think the mindset that would cause someone to think NPD is "cool" would be indicative of some kind of problem though...I can't say that I think ANY of the personality disorders are "cool."

 

[Mole]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness while narcissistic personality is simply a personality.

And while those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lead disordered lives, those with a narcissistic personality are often quite successful, like CEOs.

I think the problem is that Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic personality are almost the same words and so they are easily confused.

 

[guesswho]

I guess it's because online descriptions can't match the real thing

 

[Elfboy]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness while narcissistic personality is simply a personality.

And while those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lead disordered lives, those with a narcissistic personality are often quite successful, like CEOs.

I think the problem is that Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic personality are almost the same words and so they are easily confused.

you make a wonderful distinction

 

[Thalassa]

I guess it's because online descriptions can't match the real thing

Well I think it's partly because one of the "popular" personality disorder tests floating around the Internet says that just about everyone has symptoms of 1-3 personality disorders, including ones they actually would not meet the criteria for at all...for example, someone with pagan beliefs or other beliefs in the supernatural might come out with a schizotypal result...except that nothing else about them would point to schizotypal, they have no problem with social adjustment, relationships, or paranoia, etc.

In my case I just kept focusing on the abandonment variable because of childhood experience, and emotional sensitivity. However, if I'd actually understood that people with BPD have "chronic feelings of emptiness" and don't have a stable sense of self - meaning their values and interests can change often - then I would have realized that I was not even a candidate. Not to mention that I'm inclined to seek help and work to overcome any issues I might have, and people with BPD are much less likely to do this, and often have to be forced into treatment, or even if going into treatment voluntarily they'll leave abruptly or not do the self-management work it requires.

 

[Giggly]

A narcissist benefits from their narcissism only to the degree that they can keep people at arm's length. People tend to have an exceptionally positive first impression of narcissists, but intimacy generally brings a very low opinion of narcissists. So it's only their advantage where they can avoid that.

A narcissist's behavior is no good for anyone else. Narcissists manipulate others for gain at their expense, plain and simple. The narcissist's gain is typically everyone else's loss. And when two narcissists are together, it's like a slugging match. They are completely in conflict with each other, and lack any particular manipulative advantage over each other, so it's just a protracted (can costly) battle of will.

I have noticed that narcissists lack the ability to be intimate, but for some strange reason they seem to be overwhelmingly attracted to those who can be intimate. I never understood this. Personally, I'd rather see two narcissists together. things seem more balanced then. It's more of a mismatch for a narcissist to be with a non-narcissist because the only person who is going to gain from that relationship is the narcissist.

 

[guesswho]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness while narcissistic personality is simply a personality.

And while those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lead disordered lives, those with a narcissistic personality are often quite successful, like CEOs.

I think the problem is that Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic personality are almost the same words and so they are easily confused.

Why does disorder always come after Narcissistic Personality when I google it then?

 

[Thalassa]

Why does disorder always come after Narcissistic Personality when I google it then?

I sometimes think people try to differentiate between being a narcissist and having NPD is because they want to justify their horrifying, unethical behavior somehow.

I mean, COME ON, what better way to avoid treatment for a personality disorder than saying "I'm okay and successful! Everyone else has the problem!" as they step on an orphan and spit on an old lady on their way to the office.

 

[Thalassa]

I have noticed that narcissists lack the ability to be intimate, but for some strange reason they seem to be overwhelmingly attracted to those who can be intimate. I never understood this. Personally, I'd rather see two narcissists together. things seem more balanced then. It's more of a mismatch for a narcissist to be with a non-narcissist because the only person who is going to gain from that relationship is the narcissist.

They pair up with a non-narcissist because they wouldn't be able to blatantly abuse another narcissist in the same satisfying manner.

 

[guesswho]

as they step on an orphan and spit on an old lady on their way to the office.

Or step on the old lady and spit on the orphan

 

[Thalassa]

I don't particularly care one way or the other. that being said, I think anyone with anyone with high confidence and high self esteem would probably score much high than 15 on this test.

I'm going to have to disagree with you on that.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I have noticed that narcissists lack the ability to be intimate, but for some strange reason they seem to be overwhelmingly attracted to those who can be intimate. I never understood this. Personally, I'd rather see two narcissists together. things seem more balanced then. It's more of a mismatch for a narcissist to be with a non-narcissist because the only person who is going to gain from that relationship is the narcissist.

They pair up with a non-narcissist because they wouldn't be able to blatantly abuse another narcissist in the same satisfying manner.

Marm is correct. As for why people aren't narcissists pair up with narcissists, there are a lot of complicated reasons that can happen. It often takes people too long to realize how serious the problems are with the person they've partnered with. Furthermore, some people are easily coerced by that kind of personality, mis-attribute positive implications to their negative personality traits, or tend to become dependent on strong personalities. I also think some people have a fantasy that they can become the one person who is loved by a narcissist (similar thing happens with sociopaths).

A narcissist gains from a relationship with a non-narcissist, while the non-narcissist loses. In a relationship with two narcissists, both people are losers. The winner is the person not interacting with a narcissist.

damn, maybe I'm a little more of a narcissist than I thought. in all honesty though, I didn't like a lot of the questions. I think my entitlement and exploitativeness are actualy extremely low (I demand the best, but I don't want people to just give it to me. I take what I want), and my exhibitionism is probably a little lower.

I don't particularly care one way or the other. that being said, I think anyone with anyone with high confidence and high self esteem would probably score much high than 15 on this test.

This is exactly what I'd expect a narcissist to say.

 

[Mole]

Why does disorder always come after Narcissistic Personality when I google it then?

This question is beyond my pay grade.

 

[Elfboy]

I'm going to have to disagree with you on that.

I think so because the test puts under conifident/insecure/not narcissistic and confident/self sufficient/narcissistic in the same category. most entrepreneurs and millionaires would probably score much higher than 15 on this test

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Figured I'd do it.

Your score is
3

Your score for Authority is LOW
Your score for Self-sufficiency is LOW
Your score for Superiority is LOW
Your score for Exhibitionism is LOW
Your score for Exploitativeness is LOW
Your score for Vanity is MEDIUM
Your score for Entitlement is LOW

I think so because the test puts under conifident/insecure/not narcissistic and confident/self sufficient/narcissistic in the same category. most entrepreneurs and millionaires would probably score much higher than 15 on this test

I don't see a problem with that. I'm not sure if millionaires are quite high enough to fall in that standard, though.

 

[Thalassa]

I think so because the test puts under conifident/insecure/not narcissistic and confident/self sufficient/narcissistic in the same category. most entrepreneurs and millionaires would probably score much higher than 15 on this test

I'm sorry, but I think you're confusing self-esteem with an unrealistic or grandiose views of one's self. Some of the questions are quite pointedly, glaringly differentiating between self-esteem and absurd gradiosity, one most notably is "I'm a born leader." Realistically, the qualities of a good leader must be learned over time and contemplated carefully both intellectually and ethically speaking. Someone who thinks themselves "a born leader" is just bossy...that doesn't equal good or effective leader.

I doubt most entepreneurs are pathological narcissists, but certainly some are, I would agree...because they believe the only way they can validate themselves (for their sad, inner state) is by building a world of material things around them to externally validate, which is false validation, which is a symptom of narcissism.

 

[Elfboy]

I have noticed that narcissists lack the ability to be intimate, but for some strange reason they seem to be overwhelmingly attracted to those who can be intimate. I never understood this. Personally, I'd rather see two narcissists together. things seem more balanced then. It's more of a mismatch for a narcissist to be with a non-narcissist because the only person who is going to gain from that relationship is the narcissist.

one symptom of narcissism I'm happy to say I do NOT share

 

[ThatGirl]

Anyone who has ever been associated with a true narcissist would disagree strongly with the OP.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I know business executives/managers have an above average representation of a handful of personality disorder traits, including narcissistic ones.