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How to get rid of a "flat affect"

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
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So I posted a link to my videos in my typing thread.

I know I came across as rather awkward in those videos. By awkward, I mean, having a flat affect- not showing a whole lot of enthusiasm or emotion, not showing alot of movement, etc.

I have posted videos on other occasions to other forums and have also had my flat affect pointed out there as well.

This flat affect thing bothers me because I think it could be affecting how people are perceiving me in the real world. I sometimes get the impression that people aren't attracted to me or interested in me because of this. I think I get turned down for jobs because I don't appear enthusiastic enough when I *know* internally, I badly want the job.

The question is, how do I appear more lively and energetic to the outside world while still being myself? I'm not one of those people who's all "La La La La" or "Oh My God!" or "Let's Party!!". Okay, that may be a bit over the top but I think you get the idea.

I think I may have mild asperger syndrome. One of the symptoms of Aspergers is a flat affect. I know I was very Aspergerish in my childhood. I never got an official diagnosis though.

If only people knew how lively my inner world was.................
 

wolfy

awsm
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You should post a link in here to make it easy. I posted a video in that thread too. I was told I came across as chill. I'm wondering what differentiates flat and chill. I don't know.
 

ajblaise

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The flat affect, eh?

See SuchIrony? I told you you were an ISTJ, I just knew it, hehe. ISTJ types suffer from the flat affect the most. Followed by INTJs.

Hmm notice how I'm leaving out INTPs on purpose heh? Well we're not far behind... like 3rd or 4th place, I guess. :coffee:

To loosen up, try exaggerating and ramping up your movements and speech as they come. To you, this will feel like an awkward exaggeration and maybe even a bit nutty, but in reality, you will just be coming off as moving and talking like a normal nice kinda bubbly girl.

And I guess since you're a girl, you have to smile more, if u want to lose your flat affect (which is just your natural self, u shouldn't feel bad about it, in case you do). Notice how an INFP just made a thread about smiling too much? You need a little bit of that.

Oh yeah, and also, xanax... if you're desperate to loosen up. You know how people will sometimes say to their friends "you know, you're a lot more fun when you drink!"? Xanax is like the pill form of loosening up. It's a short cut, and kinda like cheating.
 

prplchknz

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yupp
You should post a link in here to make it easy. I posted a video in that thread too. I was told I came across as chill. I'm wondering what differentiates flat and chill. I don't know.

yeah I always appear chilled on the outside even when I'm freaking out on the inside. well most of the time some times i freak out both inside and outside.
 

KDude

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I haven't seen your video, but I had flat affect when I was prescribed Zoloft some years ago. That was partly why I got off of it.. it was kind of abnormal for me. Are you on any meds like this (something screwing with your serotonin levels at least). :shrug: Like I said, I haven't seen your video. In my case, I was kind of Spock-like for a year. You at least come off somewhat animated in text.
 

Qlip

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Do you feel like the flat effect is solely how you are percieved? Or do you also feel unnaturally flat?
 

Tabula

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SuchIrony, please forgive me, as I definitely don't mean to invalidate your experience here, but you don't strike me as having a flat affect at all. Your facial expressions, while not "enthusiastic" by any stretch, were still slightly varied, and appropriate to the subject you were talking about. Your vocal inflection, too, was varied and even more expressive than mine, and you also have great projection. I caught a few hand gestures and posture shifts in there, as well.

I think this just comes with the territory of being an introvert, sometimes. We tend to mirror the enthusiasm or intensity of our company, at least I do, and in the absence of company, resign to a pretty low-key, quieter and maybe even "boring" form of expression (at least in comparison to a lot of extraverts.) Would you say that this is how you are all the time, no matter who you're with, what you're feeling, or the setting you're in? If your answer is yes, I would say that there might be more to it than "just introversion." You mentioned that you were also a little nervous to do this, which makes sense, being an introvert, and I wonder if that didn't affect either (or both) your presentation or your perception of yourself in your videos.

Personally, I liked your videos, and I don't see why you would want to change your manner of expression. :)

I'm sorry this doesn't really help.
 
G

garbage

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Flatness is just a bit of guardedness, or at least the impression of it :shrug:
 

Such Irony

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I think this just comes with the territory of being an introvert, sometimes. We tend to mirror the enthusiasm or intensity of our company, at least I do, and in the absence of company, resign to a pretty low-key, quieter and maybe even "boring" form of expression (at least in comparison to a lot of extraverts.) Would you say that this is how you are all the time, no matter who you're with, what you're feeling, or the setting you're in? If your answer is yes, I would say that there might be more to it than "just introversion." You mentioned that you were also a little nervous to do this, which makes sense, being an introvert, and I wonder if that didn't affect either (or both) your presentation or your perception of yourself in your videos.

Personally, I liked your videos, and I don't see why you would want to change your manner of expression. :)

I'm sorry this doesn't really help.

Thanks for the feedback.

Yes I am prone to mirroring others enthusiasm and intensity to some extent but there are some people whose enthusiasm or intensity I'll never be able to match. I feel somewhat uncomfortable around these people because I feel like I should match it more and I would be totally out of my element doing so.

Here's another I video I made today. It's a little shorter and more spontaneous in that I didn't have a preset list of questions I was reading from. Still pretty low-key overall.
 

Tabula

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but there are some people whose enthusiasm or intensity I'll never be able to match.

Of course not... you're not an extravert! Even among extraverts, some of them will be far more enthusiastic than others, and after that, a matter of when and where.

Here's another I video I made today. It's a little shorter and more spontaneous in that I didn't have a preset list of questions I was reading from. Still pretty low-key overall.

INFJ and not flat at all, IMHO. :)
 

disregard

mrs
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Who cares what people think.

You will catch authenticity with authenticity.
 

Athenian200

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Thanks for the feedback.

Yes I am prone to mirroring others enthusiasm and intensity to some extent but there are some people whose enthusiasm or intensity I'll never be able to match. I feel somewhat uncomfortable around these people because I feel like I should match it more and I would be totally out of my element doing so.

Here's another I video I made today. It's a little shorter and more spontaneous in that I didn't have a preset list of questions I was reading from. Still pretty low-key overall.

I'm SO sorry about that "flat affect" comment. I think this entire thread is my fault. :blush:

I will say that in this video, it does seem to be lessened a bit, and you seem a lot more expressive towards the end of the video in particular. Another thing I wanted to compliment you on, is that you're very articulate, focused, and leave few pauses in your speech. I don't seem nearly as calm or articulate in videos. I don't know why I didn't give you the compliments on those things before.

I think that you're almost definitely an INxJ from the things you say. All the "P" characteristics you describe seem minor, and many Js possess the same ones. If you're a P, then there's no way I could be a J. In fact, my hunch is that you only went with INTP in MBTI initially because you tried to convert your Socionics type form LII/INTj. Am I correct? But in reality, you can't do that. I always run around trying to stop the peddlers of that lousy advice about the J/P switch for Introverts. That does NOT work.
 

Such Irony

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I'm SO sorry about that "flat affect" comment. I think this entire thread is my fault. :blush:

I will say that in this video, it does seem to be lessened a bit, and you seem a lot more expressive towards the end of the video in particular. Another thing I wanted to compliment you on, is that you're very articulate, focused, and leave few pauses in your speech. I don't seem nearly as calm or articulate in videos. I don't know why I didn't give you the compliments on those things before.

I think that you're almost definitely an INxJ from the things you say. All the "P" characteristics you describe seem minor, and many Js possess the same ones. If you're a P, then there's no way I could be a J. In fact, my hunch is that you only went with INTP in MBTI initially because you tried to convert your Socionics type form LII/INTj. Am I correct? But in reality, you can't do that. I always run around trying to stop the peddlers of that lousy advice about the J/P switch for Introverts. That does NOT work.

On socionics tests, INTj has been the most common result and I relate to most of the profile. If you feel that a different socionics type fits me better, please let me know. I'm not entirely confident of my socionics type. I do know that the J/P switch does not always hold true when converting between MBTI and socionics. They are related, yet different systems and describe the functions somewhat different. For example, some MBTI INTPs are socionics INTjs and some are socionics INTps. A smaller number are some other socionic type.

I think the second video, I was a little more relaxed because I didn't rehearse what I'd say so much and went with the flow more and let my thoughts travel where they will.
 

Tiltyred

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The question is, how do I appear more lively and energetic to the outside world while still being myself?

Wear some color.

Because ... (I realized a reason might be helpful) we live in a world of sensors and they are sensitive to presentation. I don't see that your affect is flat. You come across to me as a sensitive thoughtful person. You're very beige, though. I realize you probably have clothes other than the ones you were wearing in the one video I saw, but I didn't see any color in your environment either, so I am guessing it's not big in your grand scheme of things and I'm suggesting perhaps some color in and of itself would help you appear more lively and energetic. And at any rate, it's easier to change clothes/makeup than it is to change your entire way of being, so that would be a start.
 
T

ThatGirl

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Listen to more Jay Z

[YOUTUBE="Zp_5ntZ5yEk"]I get flat when I am locked in N[/YOUTUBE]
 

Such Irony

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Wear some color.

Because ... (I realized a reason might be helpful) we live in a world of sensors and they are sensitive to presentation. I don't see that your affect is flat. You come across to me as a sensitive thoughtful person. You're very beige, though. I realize you probably have clothes other than the ones you were wearing in the one video I saw, but I didn't see any color in your environment either, so I am guessing it's not big in your grand scheme of things and I'm suggesting perhaps some color in and of itself would help you appear more lively and energetic. And at any rate, it's easier to change clothes/makeup than it is to change your entire way of being, so that would be a start.

I actually do wear quite a bit of color. Just didn't happen to that particular day.
 

Totenkindly

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This flat affect thing bothers me because I think it could be affecting how people are perceiving me in the real world. I sometimes get the impression that people aren't attracted to me or interested in me because of this. I think I get turned down for jobs because I don't appear enthusiastic enough when I *know* internally, I badly want the job.

The question is, how do I appear more lively and energetic to the outside world while still being myself? I'm not one of those people who's all "La La La La" or "Oh My God!" or "Let's Party!!". Okay, that may be a bit over the top but I think you get the idea.

I think I may have mild asperger syndrome. One of the symptoms of Aspergers is a flat affect. I know I was very Aspergerish in my childhood. I never got an official diagnosis though.

I wouldn't know, but there are Asperger qualities that overlap with INTP -- the connection is not a new one. And Aspies tend to identify most (i think) with the INTP mbti.

I think the biggest difference I've seen is that INTPs could learn social skills if they wanted to but simply don't care to do so if they think it's stupid; Aspies have a really hard time with doing it even when they'd like to because it's like a foreign language and they don't even seem to perceive the cues. There's also a literalness that comes with being an Aspie that runs counter to INTP intuition, who have the ability to read subtext.

If it helps:

There was a time in my life where I wanted to learn how to smile better, even though I thought I was. So I practiced in front of a mirror for a month and took pictures and got comments until I learned to match up my inner feelings with what I let come through my face.

I did the same sort of thing with my voice. i was tired of sounding flat... and it wasn't like my inner world was flat, it was just that everything came out flat on the surface... so I recorded my voice and listened and worked on syncing up my inner feelings with my outer inflection. There's also the reality that men's voices tend to be flatter and women more readily use inflection, so you're probably feeling like you are "below par" compared with other women, whereas you might be more normal for an IxTx type. Anyway, when I'm tired or don't feel like investing energy to sync things up, my voice can still be flat, and my friends tell me my voice is nice and calm rather than over-emotion-laden, but I still have more inflection now than I did. I just had to practice. There's a detachment from whatever IxTx types are experiencing, a natural "buffer," so you sort of have to reconnect body to emotion.

I also used to wear a lot more blacks and grays, but nowadays I play a lot more with color, now that I'm more confident with my clothing abilities as well as more willing to let emotions show.


EDIT: I watched the second video you referenced in this thread, only about a minute of it.

You have inflection in your voice -- maybe not 'crazy inflection' like some of the ExFx female types, but definitely there is inflection. You sound perfectly normal and not flat to me... flat is flat, and you had natural rises and falls throughout each line. I'm not sure why someone told you that you didn't have inflection.
 

Athenian200

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On socionics tests, INTj has been the most common result and I relate to most of the profile. If you feel that a different socionics type fits me better, please let me know. I'm not entirely confident of my socionics type. I do know that the J/P switch does not always hold true when converting between MBTI and socionics. They are related, yet different systems and describe the functions somewhat different. For example, some MBTI INTPs are socionics INTjs and some are socionics INTps. A smaller number are some other socionic type.

I think the second video, I was a little more relaxed because I didn't rehearse what I'd say so much and went with the flow more and let my thoughts travel where they will.

I actually have no reason to doubt your Socionic type... I was just concerned that you or someone else had done the conversion to INTP, because I couldn't see you typing as INTP under normal circumstances. For instance, I don't think an MBTI test would ever have given you that result initially.
 
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