Is Facebook making us sad?

[figsfiggyfigs]

Seems like if you're lamenting others' success because you're not having any of your own, it's your own pitiful existence that's making you sad. Facebook just helps you realize it, I suppose? Don't kill the messenger.

 

[guesswho]

Dear OP,

Facebook is a lie.


AND I REALLY HOPE IT DOESN'T GET AN OSCAR.

 

[William K]

But how is that any different from hearing people talk about those things in day-to-day life? I mean, when someone goes on a mountain hike... They don't just post it on Facebook. They talk about it to colleagues, classmates, whatever. This is EXACTLY the same as sitting in class and hearing them say, "Dude, I went on this amazing mountain hike this weekend..."

Agreed. In fact, the study mentioned in the article was not focused on Facebook.

In one of the Stanford studies, Jordan and his fellow researchers asked 80 freshmen to report whether they or their peers had recently experienced various negative and positive emotional events. Time and again, the subjects underestimated how many negative experiences ("had a distressing fight," "felt sad because they missed people") their peers were having. They also overestimated how much fun ("going out with friends," "attending parties") these same peers were having.

However, this "The grass is greener on the other side" feeling can be made more acute by Facebook because what we're seeing are the hand-picked highlights of people, some of whom we don't have a day-to-day interaction with.

 

[guesswho]

Exactly, everyone's posting pictures when they're having fun, looking hot, doing interesting things, being in interesting places. Everyone's creating an ideal desirable self.

 

[Patches]

However, this "The grass is greener on the other side" feeling can be made more acute by Facebook because what we're seeing are the hand-picked highlights of people, some of whom we don't have a day-to-day interaction with.

Exactly, everyone's posting pictures when they're having fun, looking hot, doing interesting things, being in interesting places. Everyone's creating an ideal desirable self.

Yeah. Thats pretty much exactly what I was thinking when I posted this:

And you know those people posting witty comments and making constant Facebook updates about how awesome their life is? Guess where they're doing it from? Sitting alone in front of a computer monitor.

 

[Thalassa]

Dear OP,

Facebook is a lie.


AND I REALLY HOPE IT DOESN'T GET AN OSCAR.

 

[Eckhart]

It is silly, but yeah, it kinda does make me sad. It is not only though that I get to see how people seem to lead a happy life without much worries (you can see that when they write how annoyed they are by totally unimportant things also which are a joke), but also that it shows me again what I should usually know already all too well anyway in a brutal way that I am lonely and people don't care a little about me, since I don't even get a bit of the silly, useless spam everyone else gets. That made me retreat from another social network I was at before, but well, I registered then on Facebook several months later just to let people an open door if someone would want to contact me some time later, although chances are the door will be unused. Now I just try to log in to facebook only very rarely (if there is something happening like a friend invite or so I get an email notification anyway) so it doesn't annoy me too much, which seems to work somewhat for me.

The only bittersweet moments are when people complain about their little drama stories they had with Facebook, which I obviously don't experience

 

[Kasper]

Cityville makes my insides smile.

 

[guesswho]

I was a cube logic addict, now I can proudly say I am cured. After I beat everybody else's record at that game (meaning 150 friends, and only 15 play) and they didn't really bother with the game.

 

[nolla]

Exactly, everyone's posting pictures when they're having fun, looking hot, doing interesting things, being in interesting places. Everyone's creating an ideal desirable self.

One of the main reasons for me to not be on FB... I would feel like I am doing an advertisement for myself. Probably would even have to become more active in order to make my life seem more interesting Or, maybe I would make a big thing about not having an interesting life. That might be funny... nah, that would seem martyrish...

 

[wolfy]

It makes me sad when I think of my strawberries. I'm sure they'd be ready to harvest. What has it been... six months?

 

[erm]

Jordan, who is now a postdoctoral fellow studying social psychology at Dartmouth's Tuck School of Business, suggests we might do well to consider Facebook profiles as something akin to the airbrushed photos on the covers of women's magazine. No, you will never have those thighs, because nobody has those thighs. You will never be as consistently happy as your Facebook friends, because nobody is that happy. So remember Montesquieu, and, if you're feeling particularly down, use Facebook for its most exalted purpose: finding fat exes.

Pretty much.

Most people filter out the negatives when altering their profile. It's best to remember that when browsing.

 

[gromit]

I like to see where old friends are these days. It fun when silly pictures of people's kids and stuff like that pops up on my news feed.

 

[gromit]

It makes me sad when I think of my strawberries. I'm sure they'd be ready to harvest. What has it been... six months?

What happened to them?

 

[wolfy]

What happened to them?

I don't know, they must be compost by now. I hope strawberries doesn't read this post.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

But how is that any different from hearing people talk about those things in day-to-day life? I mean, when someone goes on a mountain hike... They don't just post it on Facebook. They talk about it to colleagues, classmates, whatever. This is EXACTLY the same as sitting in class and hearing them say, "Dude, I went on this amazing mountain hike this weekend..."

And you know those people posting witty comments and making constant Facebook updates about how awesome their life is? Guess where they're doing it from? Sitting alone in front of a computer monitor.

Agreed. I'm just agreeing that being on facebook just compacts that feeling more.

One of the main reasons for me to not be on FB... I would feel like I am doing an advertisement for myself. Probably would even have to become more active in order to make my life seem more interesting Or, maybe I would make a big thing about not having an interesting life. That might be funny... nah, that would seem martyrish...

Yes, that's another one of those problems with sites like Facebook. Trying to show your best face. It is definitely another annoyance of mine with it.

Ha. Seems like it's the Fi-dom's that have a issue with facebook. But not the ISFP e9's.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

Facebook doesn't make me sad. I've got a few friends that post some downright hilarious status updates. And I like being able to keep in touch with friends that have moved away.

 

[LeafAndSky]

Broaden your circle of friends to include people who interact with more authenticity? I went down my Facebook news feed and these are the kinds of things shared by friends and commented on by friends:

I drank Dieter's Tea. Don't EVER EVER drink Dieter's Tea.
Go Steelers!
My pet died and I've finally decided to try an antidepressant.
For three days I'm doing an "honesty experiment" . . .
Here's a box I painted and it's for sale on eBay.
I have a migraine.
Check out this article (politics, philosophy, time travel . . .)
You won't believe what I overheard on the bus.
My son's friend has cancer with 8 months to live (prayer request).
Does anyone invest in organic food?
Quotes from Maya Angelou, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, etc.
Please take political action on this environmental issue, or this one, or this one.
I got two out of four items done on my to-do list.
Check out this artist, and this one, and this one.
I'm working on my novel!
Sharing this music youtube with you, enjoy.
Zumba!
Humor, humor links, and more humor, e.g., "[Name] is cle’a]ni.ng hi’s ke]yb29oa;rd"

I see Facebook as educational and caring.

 

[JoSunshine]

Facebook doesn't make me sad, but I generally have an issue with the new ways people communicate with each other. I tend to think that people spend way too much time facebooking, texting, IMing etc rather than establishing real connections with people and THAT will make you sad.

 

[William K]

Broaden your circle of friends to include people who interact with more authenticity? I went down my Facebook news feed and these are the kinds of things shared by friends and commented on by friends:

I drank Dieter's Tea. Don't EVER EVER drink Dieter's Tea.
Go Steelers!
My pet died and I've finally decided to try an antidepressant.
For three days I'm doing an "honesty experiment" . . .
Here's a box I painted and it's for sale on eBay.
I have a migraine.
Check out this article (politics, philosophy, time travel . . .)
You won't believe what I overheard on the bus.
My son's friend has cancer with 8 months to live (prayer request).
Does anyone invest in organic food?
Quotes from Maya Angelou, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, etc.
Please take political action on this environmental issue, or this one, or this one.
I got two out of four items done on my to-do list.
Check out this artist, and this one, and this one.
I'm working on my novel!
Sharing this music youtube with you, enjoy.
Zumba!
Humor, humor links, and more humor, e.g., "[Name] is cle’a]ni.ng hi’s ke]yb29oa;rd"

I see Facebook as educational and caring.

Ok, now I'm depressed because my FB friends are not as cool as yours...