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What makes you feel vulnerable?

highlander

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Dec 23, 2009
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What makes you feel vulnerable?

Definition:
a. Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
b. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury
c. Open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>
d. Liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Being strong and confident in other areas. I don't mind dropping all the defenses on one side as long as I've got two others covered.

The only time I am NOT okay with being vulnerable is when the consequence is enough to cause a significant hit. I have no standing defenses on any angle.
 

Tiltyred

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Dec 1, 2008
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When my money situation is precarious, or especially if it's already precarious and then takes a sudden hit. I get suddenly terrified and very much in need of hugs, and could very easily be seduced. It's about the only thing that would make me clingy, if I allowed myself to cling. There's no question about my instinctual stacking.
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Powerful morons.

That's it put simply, the Peter Principle is totally and utterly objective fact and I hate how much some people who are epic failures in their superior positions will attack their subordinates. This shit and probably this shit alone will keep my socialist until I die.
 

highlander

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I struggle with this question and yet it seems important. I tend to have a pretty thick skin. I'm not afraid to take risks. I tend to have strong emotions and feel pretty comfortable expressing them around people that I know. I'm a relatively open person - not closed at all. Still, because I protect myself, I don't often feel vulnerable.

I remember when I was 6 years old, a school bully would sit on me at recess and do different things to try and make me cry. He wasn't able to do it. There was some incident later with a person who was a friend. Anyway, I don't remember what he did, but it was something that hurt my feelings. That did make me cry. The bully finds out about it and redoubles his efforts - still to no avail. I can laugh about it now but that story seems to illustrate a point on how I've gone through life. I seem to harden myself to being harmed by others. I don't like being in a situation where I'm at someone else's whim or mercy. When I am impacted in a negative way due to such a situation, it seems to impact me much more than other bad things that might happen. It may have something to do with a dominating mother or that, at times, I felt picked on as a child. I'm not sure. The key point, I suppose, is that when someone else can make decisions which could negatively impact or influence me, it makes me feel vulnerable. An example of this would be the trepidation I can sometimes feel around a client or a boss because they have power over me. This makes me feel uncomfortable. I want to be free, independent and outside unfair or negative influences. I am overly sensitive or defensive to criticism from such people. Economic motivations have played a role in my life, I believe, because financial resources give you freedom from outside influence. There is also something related to emotional vulnerability - not being accepted by others for who I am. I'm sensitive to rejection. It is selective though. There are many people where I could care less what they think about me. There are others however where it does matter.

In writing this, I'm not even sure if what I've put down here expresses what makes me feel truly vulnerable. What I know for sure is that the thought of being vulnerable makes me uncomfortable. I suppose that's one of the things that I like about this forum. It forces me to think about things that I would not normally consider. Faults are one thing. My list is a mile long. Somehow that feels different than admitting weakness. It is not something that I feel particularly comfortable with and therefore tend to avoid.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
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opening up emotionally... it sucks :thumbdown:
 
V

violaine

Guest
Being forced to rely on somebody else for something. Even thinking about relying on someone else makes me uncomfortable. I would much rather do everything myself, it's not reasonable but feels much better.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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May 3, 2009
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sx
Boys.

Stupid boys.
 

funkadelik

good hair
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
1,614
MBTI Type
lmao
Being naked in front of a pack of ravenous, snarling wolverines.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I'd say the temptation concept. It takes a great deal for me to truly give into sensual pleasures. I'm detaching from such a strong view point, but it's a powerful thing to get past. I was taught not to do whatever I wished to do, though I'm learning that this is nonsense, of course there are limits, but I'm knowledgeable enough to see what those are and assess them when they arrive.
 

AgentF

Unlimited Dancemoves ®
Joined
Dec 22, 2010
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being known*. terrifying and yet it's what i most want.


*+ loved.
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
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INTP
Relying on others without having the upper hand or a decent amount of control in some way. Not to say I don't rely on others, I probably more take advantage of others or take them for granted.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
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Oct 27, 2008
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I struggle with this question and yet it seems important. I tend to have a pretty thick skin. I'm not afraid to take risks. I tend to have strong emotions and feel pretty comfortable expressing them around people that I know. I'm a relatively open person - not closed at all. Still, because I protect myself, I don't often feel vulnerable.

I remember when I was 6 years old, a school bully would sit on me at recess and do different things to try and make me cry. He wasn't able to do it. There was some incident later with a person who was a friend. Anyway, I don't remember what he did, but it was something that hurt my feelings. That did make me cry. The bully finds out about it and redoubles his efforts - still to no avail. I can laugh about it now but that story seems to illustrate a point on how I've gone through life. I seem to harden myself to being harmed by others. I don't like being in a situation where I'm at someone else's whim or mercy. When I am impacted in a negative way due to such a situation, it seems to impact me much more than other bad things that might happen. It may have something to do with a dominating mother or that, at times, I felt picked on as a child. I'm not sure. The key point, I suppose, is that when someone else can make decisions which could negatively impact or influence me, it makes me feel vulnerable. An example of this would be the trepidation I can sometimes feel around a client or a boss because they have power over me. This makes me feel uncomfortable. I want to be free, independent and outside unfair or negative influences. I am overly sensitive or defensive to criticism from such people. Economic motivations have played a role in my life, I believe, because financial resources give you freedom from outside influence. There is also something related to emotional vulnerability - not being accepted by others for who I am. I'm sensitive to rejection. It is selective though. There are many people where I could care less what they think about me. There are others however where it does matter.

In writing this, I'm not even sure if what I've put down here expresses what makes me feel truly vulnerable. What I know for sure is that the thought of being vulnerable makes me uncomfortable. I suppose that's one of the things that I like about this forum. It forces me to think about things that I would not normally consider. Faults are one thing. My list is a mile long. Somehow that feels different than admitting weakness. It is not something that I feel particularly comfortable with and therefore tend to avoid.

haven't read further then this but you're an 8 aren't you? have you said before? i can't remember...but i relate somewhat and i think something in there is why i thought my wing was 8 before...anyway..i don't like being vulnerable. i'm good...i'm fine...if it's not okay now then it will be so don't worry about me...but how are you? you can tell me anything...i don't know why that is. i'm comfortable supporting others but can't stand it from others. if i'm sad and someone hugs me. it just makes it worse. i'd rather deal with it alone. or truthfully just not deal with it at all. which...is something i'm working on...but when pressed for more information and i have to share emotional things that's what makes me feel vulnerable...because i'm an honest person if you press i'll tell you but i'd prefer you take my easy answer of i'm fine and just leave me alone...so yeah...switching the roles and being supportive of me makes me feel vulnerable. i prefer to be that person. which i'm aware means that i'm not willing to be truly intimate with very many people because you have to be vulnerable to be intimate so i guess once i am...and i've given you a part of me that i don't usually share that makes me feel vulnerable too.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
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Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
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INFJ
Having to express unprocessed emotions before I've had time to deal with them myself.

People seeing work that I don't feel is yet completed to the extent of what I can do or know.

Growing to love someone that is complicated enough to be interesting, only to realize that their complicatedness is unexpressed insecurity. Once people make it through all the security measures, they have a lot of influence with me. It takes me far too long to diagnose the problem because I don't want to be unreasonable or believe the worst, and in the process I become the person who seems to care more than they do. I don't normally choose to have inconsistent or unpredictable people in my inner circle, but in this case it seems to sneak up on me. The push pull thing can keep reeling me in if I have already invested a lot and grown to care dearly for the person and see that there is good stuff in them. I'm probably inclined more to end up hanging around till they leave first rather than taking charge of what happens for myself.

Unpredictable people and to some extent unpredictable situations. I don't need a lot of details, just a basic idea of what to expect. I find negative surprises very unsettling.

Criticism from someone whose opinion matters a lot to me. I don't care so much about criticism from people whose opinions I don't value, even though I'd prefer to be liked than unliked. Public unexpected criticism is also something I dislike.

Unresolvable conflict, particularly with people I love. I find this affects me physically, even when I think I'm dealing with it well mentally. If I can find some kind of active thing to do that would improve the situation, I handle it much better. I really don't like being at odds with people if I can help it. At the very least I want to be able to discuss it so I can figure out if there is any solution possible.

Unexplained/inexplicable behaviour. I would much prefer negative feedback or a disappointment than not knowing. I really can't stand not having enough information to work with. As time has gone on I've gotten better at this, but still find it hard to close a chapter on something without being able to fully understand it and tie up the loose ends.

Being asked to do something where the stakes are high, but not having clear guidelines for what is wanted (or being able to get them) or how to proceed. I see too many possibilities and it can be paralyzing. (Ni-Ti looping). After awhile, I tend to develop a fear of even thinking about that task or topic. This is a problem!

Hostile workplace or living situation. Gives me stabbing stomach pains.

Having to offer step by step logic based arguments to defend my position without any time to prepare. I don't think well on the fly. I feel the same way about having to do improv or something. Maybe it's an overactive inner editor.

Being forced to do something or walk into a situation before I've had a chance to observe and know what to expect and what will be asked of me. I used to hate things like having to play a game without knowing what the game entailed first. I didn't mind after I had determined that I could handle it. It wasn't even needing to win. I just knew that I get easily embarrassed and some people don't have filters and I don't want to feel angry at them or dumb in front of them, so I'd rather check it out first.

Man, I never realized the list was quite so long...
 

Fan.of.Devin

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Jul 12, 2010
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Heights.

Inevitable death.

Realizing that somebody knows more about me than I'd care for them to, or far worse; that they know more about myself than I do.

Communication breakdown.
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
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May 9, 2010
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so/sx
opening up emotionally... it sucks :thumbdown:

And opening up with knowledge about yourself in general...you never know whose a psycho-bitch out there, or basically just use that information against you.
 
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