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  1. #31
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Having to express unprocessed emotions before I've had time to deal with them myself.
    This is a pretty big one for me, but only with certain people. As long as someone isn’t the sort who will cut me off and get all upset about something I’ve said in the middle of my stream of thought, who will say “but you said this…” to use against me later (which I’m fine with when it applies, but sometimes people take it out of context just to win an argument), or with other basically impatient/impulsive tendencies during discourse- then I am okay with sharing the raw stuff.

    People seeing work that I don't feel is yet completed to the extent of what I can do or know.
    Again, yeah, but only with people who impulsively treat it like a finished product and (inadvertently or not) interfere with my progress. I’ve always tried to arrange hours to work while no one else is around, because interruptions make it incredibly hard for me to think- and people who have a hard time working without interruptions don’t begin to understand it. But then there are people who just 'get it', and they don't discombobulate me at all- I don't mind them seeing uncompleted work.

    Once people make it through all the security measures, they have a lot of influence with me. It takes me far too long to diagnose the problem because I don't want to be unreasonable or believe the worst, and in the process I become the person who seems to care more than they do. I don't normally choose to have inconsistent or unpredictable people in my inner circle, but in this case it seems to sneak up on me. The push pull thing can keep reeling me in if I have already invested a lot and grown to care dearly for the person and see that there is good stuff in them. I'm probably inclined more to end up hanging around till they leave first rather than taking charge of what happens for myself.
    This probably used to be my biggest vulnerability. Once people get to a certain level with me, I give them the benefit of the doubt where others won’t get it. I just don’t have as effective a bullshit filter with them, and end up putting up with far more than I should. There are a few people who, in retrospect, I really should have stopped trusting the opinion of soon after things felt ‘off’. As I get older though, it gets easier.

    Having to offer step by step logic based arguments to defend my position without any time to prepare. I don't think well on the fly. I feel the same way about having to do improv or something. Maybe it's an overactive inner editor.
    Another big one is if I am in a position where I have to work under someone who is impulsive or over-reactive. I absolutely hate when someone can come along and pull a #2 (second quote listed above, about seeing work that isn’t completed) on me, because I don’t think well on the fly either. If I get consistently interrupted in the middle of working on something- and I’m expected to immediately defend any position I have, in regards to it not being done/when it will be done/why it won’t work as is- then I’ll start to have a really hard time focusing in the first place.

    Being forced to do something or walk into a situation before I've had a chance to observe and know what to expect and what will be asked of me. I used to hate things like having to play a game without knowing what the game entailed first. I didn't mind after I had determined that I could handle it. It wasn't even needing to win. I just knew that I get easily embarrassed and some people don't have filters and I don't want to feel angry at them or dumb in front of them, so I'd rather check it out first.
    Definitely this one too. If I have to participate in something before I’ve had a chance to soak up contextual information, then I can be really spastic and it’s embarrassing.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  2. #32
    Junior Member Maya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009


    When I saw the title of this thread, something immediately came to my mind. It's something that I realized the other day when it happened for the first time in a long time.

    When somebody says something to me that is exactly what I want to hear. - it's as if suddenly I've got this huge spotlight on me, and if I accept what I'm hearing as real, I'm either in for a world of greatness or a world of incredible awfulness. In this moment I am extremely aware of these possibilities and thus I suddenly feel completely naked to this person.

    I have to make the choice: to believe or disbelieve. My immediate response in these situations? To run and hide. (not literally, of course, but hopefully you get the idea) I feel so completely naked in this kind of moment because the risk seems sky high. If I believe that what I've been wanting to hear is true, that opens me up to being let down and feeling like a complete fool. Of course, it also means I'm possibly getting exactly what I want.

    Ridiculous, true, but it's the truth! Tell me what I want to hear and I instantly feel like a deer in headlights.

    (I know this isn't a very general thing, but this is what immediately came to mind so I figured it was worth posting)

  3. #33
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    4w5 sx/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I found it extremely difficult to respond to my own thread, but also therapeutic. How about some other people who respond on a lot of other things but not this thread so far? You know who you are. I don't think anybody will criticize or think less of you. If they do, I'll shoot em .
    Honestly, when you described the feelings of vulnerability, they really struck a chord with me. I had a hard time deciding if I wanted to divulge that I've felt those feelings... as being found out about one's vulnerability is a vulnerability as well, adding more so to the feelings of being easily attacked and wounded.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  4. #34
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010



    Makes me feel like a little girl and I want someone to hold my hair back so I don't get any on it and gently put their hand on my shoulder and help me walk back to my bed and tuck me in.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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