Do You Act Differently Around Your Family?

[Lady_X]

i am at my best with my family, i think we have a great understanding
on how to interact with one other. which is odd because it's like
they all speak a different language, and i've always seen myself as the
translator in the family. translating parent language to kid language.
brother language to father language. mother language to sister language.
stuff like that.

i guess that's all i do. just translate... but not get involved.
i'm also the ... 'independent' one in the family. nobody really ever gets
in my way and i don't get in theirs. it's a great understanding.

so i dunno. i guess my role would be: freelance translator.

ha...same with me...i get along with everyone and never really have misunderstandings or issues with them but seem to just step in every once and awhile to explain the other persons pov and intentions to the other...it's always been like that...my whole life...like they always misunderstood each other...so weird...

but besides that...i think i'm maybe more te...?? not sure... maybe it looks like fe but it's really fi infused te i think haha i shouldn't attempt to explain what functions i'm using i have no idea but i'm like the peacemaker who makes everything easier..i understand what everyone wants and simplify it and say we'll do this while you do that then we'll all do this...i guess i help make plans and solve issues while taking up for everyone's right to be able to do what's important to them and get everyone to be flexible and understanding....that would be my role i guess...my mother said i was the glue in the family...i'm usually the one who liked everyone to come to my house and i would take care of everything...so it sucks that i've moved so far away...

personality wise i'm totally always the same just more or less of certain aspects at different times...like anyone is i guess...sometimes i'm more mature and serious other times i'll be extra silly and goofy....but i'm pretty much the same with everyone.

 

[violaine]

I'm always myself but I compartmentalize a lot. I don't like explaining myself, (I make an effort in relationships. But it's hard for me to submit to that kind of scrutiny). I'm mostly open with my father, quite open in a different way with my brother and very guarded with my sister. I used to be very open with all of my family but it caused me a lot of grief. It seemed to result in being on the receiving end of constant advice. I can't stand being told what to do. But I love them and care what they think and don't like to hurt their feelings... ugh, just made it hard for me to do what I wanted to in life.

The different levels work best and are related to where I think each person sits on the easygoing/critical continuum. It's nice to have the kind of Dad I can say almost anything to and he doesn't flinch.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I'm a little different online than irl - more focused. I'm pretty much myself around family except for avoiding certain topics of discussion involving politics and such.

 

[rav3n]

i am at my best with my family, i think we have a great understanding
on how to interact with one other. which is odd because it's like
they all speak a different language, and i've always seen myself as the
translator in the family. translating parent language to kid language.
brother language to father language. mother language to sister language.
stuff like that.

i guess that's all i do. just translate... but not get involved.
i'm also the ... 'independent' one in the family. nobody really ever gets
in my way and i don't get in theirs. it's a great understanding.

so i dunno. i guess my role would be: freelance translator.

That's a good insight. I do this too but get involved, becoming both translator and facilitator, smoothing things over much of the time through application of humour. But I'm finally learning not to get involved, to allow things to take their natural course even if it includes major fracturing of the family unit.

 

[The Outsider]

Yes, but that is really only because of my father. He is extremely unhealthy emotionally, so I try to avoid conflict, which would otherwise happen most of the time, since our worldviews are very conflicting.

 

[Malcontent]

I act very differently around my parents, and I am REALLY myself when I act in that way. I am more extraverted and aggressive (in typology definition obviously) and spontaneous/instictive.

Because around others (except also some friends) I act withdrawn, for a bit of shyness but expecially for social convenience and education/social norms to get along.

I don't seem the same person at all when compare "me with my family" and "me with others".

What does it means? Which is my true personality?

 

[kyuuei]

Absolutely I do. I sound different and act more like an adult and less like a kid... It sucks, and I wish I didn't have to, but I do.

 

[You]

Short Answer: Yes

Long Answer: I act the same around immediate family. Outside of that, I quiet down or get louder.

 

[miss fortune]

I go on the defensive around my family and go into family mode as well (remove anything somewhat scandalous, obscene, fun or liberated about my personality and life from the table)... I'm convinced that I'm a disappointment to them and the less they know about my life the happier they are

 

[Lily flower]

I act very differently. It's hard to be myself.

 

[Poki]

Not really. I may be more open since I am more comfortable around them. They all know who I am, what I am like. I may be more like myself since I know that I am accepted. I dont really fall back on them for help, they are more like people who are just around to interact with, talk to, hang out with, and just be there. There are a couple more judgemental ones that I tend to avoid. But for the most part I get along with my family pretty good. I am not best friends, but we are always there for each other. I will do things that are considered rude like grab a plate the second food is ready, or atleast close to being ready. But I also allow them to do what they do whether it is rude or not.

At the end of the day I would prefer someone to see me around my family then not because I am more myself with the people I have spent the most time growing up with. I get along with almost everyone, but am the most open and playful with those I am around the most. I have always been a family person, but I have never been attached to family.

 

[kelric]

My interactions with family are sort of strange. I don't really see them as a unit so much as a small subset of individuals to whom I'm related. Much more one-on-one relationships than what you'd think of as a family group (long-since-divorced parents and living far away does that). In a group, I'm pretty much always the quiet one. Since I don't see them often, when I'm with family one-on-one I often put myself in the position of trying to "make everything happy", which sometimes involves forcing a more extraverted set of behaviors... with varying success .

 

[IZthe411]

I'm one of 11 kids, and I'm #9. I'm the one who did well in school, the first to graduate college, blah blah blah....

Around my friends I'm usually one of the loudest and craziest- making people laugh and being the center of attention. Around my family I fall in line and am usually a butt of the jokes, assisting on a joke line. We're all laughing- hard. I end up leaving and needing to whole next day to recover. I love getting together with my family. As youngins we fought all the time, now it's beautiful when we can sit back and laugh at situations.

I tell people all the time who think I'm a riot. You should meet the rest of my family.

 

[IZthe411]

Yeah, it's funny how that happens when you reenter family or (as another example) a group of your high-school peers.
People tend to drop back into their familiar prior roles.

I agree here.

I think, though, as a former perceived 'nerd' my falling back is usually because I sense their view of me is that I haven't changed, when in fact, I have. I was just shy back then, socially undeveloped. If I run into people from childhood/school, I'm usually the one who tries to be a little more flowing and open, until I get a feeling they've had enough or don't want to interact. Whatever.

 

[NPcomplete]

I think I behave with my parents, sibling, one of my uncles and grandparents in the same way as I behave with my closest friends. Sometimes I'm the quiet one, listening and occasionally adding remarks, other times I'm the one talking and discussing or asking questions. It also depends on the 'atmosphere' and the others' moods. At home, I'm the problem-solver if my dad isn't around. My dad and I think in very similar ways and sometimes I'm the one who voices his thoughts.

Some family members are extremely closed-minded and don't accept that there are various ways of doing things. I enjoy doing things to spite them but I still don't talk to them so much lest I say something 'inappropriate'. I don't know how I will interact with them when I see them next (different country). I'm a lot more outspoken, confident and not scared to tell people truths now. Hmm...

When I was a child and we had huge family gatherings, I used to talk a lot to my cousins. But as we grew up and our interests diverted, I couldn't find common conversation topics. I'd be talking about dinosaurs, planets and books and they would talk about their interests which were completely different. They used to call me 'nerd' and make fun of my sister (who was too shy and scared to tell them off). So I often defended her and told them off and basically stopped being close with them. We still don't talk much these days.

 

[sleuthiness]

Many of us have spent time with our families over the holidays. Do you find that you act differently around your parents and siblings than you do normally? Specifically,
- Is there a role that you seem to fill?
- How do you act differently than you normally do?
- Do you find that you exaggerate certain cognitive functions compared to normal?

Why do you think this is so?

Do I seem to fill a role? As the oldest of four sons, I think it's safe to presume that the oldest ought to be the one setting examples, getting involved, taking charge. Hasn't worked out as such, however. In fact, probably the opposite; I prefer relative quiet, solitude, and distanced observation to interaction, as they're usually ideas that aren't formed to the point at which I feel satisfied that I have a readymade plan to support each with.

I informed one of them a few years ago that when I have kids of my own, xmas won't be on the agenda. That person threw a fit in front of everyone else. Speaking of agendas.

Really, if I could help it, I wouldn't interact with any over the course of a day.

Only with non-immediate family members do I occasionally map out my ideas, ask for input, listen listen listen (some love to yap it up). I think it has much more to do with the fact that their interests (social work, teaching, science), temperaments (naturally, increased listening ability) intersect with mine rather than because some imaginary hierarchy has been put on hold.

I generally maintain whoever I am regardless of company.

 

[Synapse]

I behave like the mediator, negotiator just like if my occupation was a negotiator for a bank robbery or a bomb thread. Yep I'd negotiation the situation into peaceful resolve, status expert!

 

[5231311252]

Is there a role that you seem to fill?
The "smart", outspoken one.

How do you act differently than you normally do?
I'm less selfish, I'm not as hostile and I smile a lot more when in their company. I also make a lot more insulting comments and jokes, because I know they will get them and not get bloody-butt.

Do you find that you exaggerate certain cognitive functions compared to normal?
I'm more extroverted.

Why do you think this is so?
Because I'm comfortable, I enjoy being in their company and their energy is infectious.

But this is only for my immediate relatives; I can't stand the rest of them.

 

[Queen Kat]

Is there a role that you seem to fill?
I play the brunette.

How do you act differently than you normally do?
Well, I act differently around everyone. I always play someone else.

Do you find that you exaggerate certain cognitive functions compared to normal?
Nope. Well, maybe Fi.

Why do you think this is so?
Our values are very conflicting, making me feel more defensive about mine.

 

[Peel]

Usually go ENTJ-ape sh!t on dem bad boys. In all honesty, I think I'm more outspoken and that's about it. Tends to get me in more arguments than I would like though namely because I quite like playing devils advocate, and I'm a bit of a dreamer which contrasts my parents who are very much realists, and my siblings who avoid arguments. We all respect each other though so it's all good