When I was posting this thread, I thought that once I figured out how to deal with the way people may handle myself changing I could work on things, shyness included. Not realizing shyness could well be the cause of this way of thinking.

thanks again for sharing. I have allot of points to catch myself on now and stop the narcissism associated with shyness. [...]
In that case, I strongly recommend Carducci's book, "Shyness, A Bold New Approach." He offers lots of strategies and tips for managing shyness. To quote one of the reviews at the Amazon.com site: Carducci attempts "not to turn introverts into extroverts" but rather to teach readers to live a "successfully shy life."


Carducci says that shyness is fairly universal; even most extroverts suffer from degrees of shyness in certain situations. As you learn about its manifestations and learn the various coping mechanisms for dealing with it, you'll see it occurring more in people around you and you can spot the coping mechanisms that others use and borrow them as well. After reading his book, you can become something of a shyness connoisseur.

If you want to improve your conversational skills, Carducci also wrote a book entitled "The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk : How to Talk to Anyone Anytime Anywhere About Anything." It's a very tiny book at 77 pages in a pocketbook format, and it's nowhere near as comprehensive as other classics in the field. But it's a look at the subject by a researcher and PhD, and it breaks down the subject of small talk in a very academic manner. In some ways it's a perfect starting place for broaching the whole subject of socializing and basic strategies for improving conversational skills: http://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Guide-M...9391918&sr=8-3

If you want something more comprehensive on conversational skills, there are plenty of good books on the market. Personally, I liked Don Gabor's "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends" and Jeanne Martinet's "The Art of Mingling".