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Reconciling Intellectual Inadequacy?

Tabula

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I feel horrible for doing this. I’ve only been here a little while and all I’ve done is talk about myself. I don’t have a good enough understanding of these ideas/theories/concepts to feel qualified to offer up any opinions, but I’m too interested to entirely bow out altogether. That's beside the point.

This is going to sound extremely whiny, and much like a non-problem and I'll probably regret it later. Tune out here, if you will.

I’ve come to the realization that every significant problem in my life, I have unwittingly created for myself. The origins of which, reduce to my reluctance to fully accept the fact that I am a bit below average in most all respects (but mainly intellectually.) How egotistical, no? Why did I place so much importance on it in the first place and not even realize it? What’s the value in it at all if not put to use somehow, be it in a personally satisfying manner, or otherwise? I consciously recognize that there is nothing inherently “wrong” or “bad” about being average, or below average, and can attest to it being the most objectively apt definition of my “level.” I’ve never thought of myself as “intelligent,” nor really “un-intelligent.” It never really crossed my mind, tbh. But only in recognizing the themes of my problems, and consequently trying to fix them, have I come across this. I quite literally have absolutely no aptitude for anything. I was a mediocre student at best, and only in the latter school years, was it for lack of trying. “Everyone has a talent” is a comfortable sentiment and all, but I suspect untrue. If there’re billions of people in the world, surely there will be some who’re just plain shit at everything, no? Everything, from specific manifestations of disproportionate anxiety/panic, total self-isolation, to a pathological aversion to living my life or growing up in any real way—it can all be attributed, at least in essence, to the avoidance of having to put forth honest effort, and in turn, seeing the final products [and finally, me] for what they are—mediocre. I’m mediocre. It’s not unduly self-critical, or pessimistic, but reality. And one in which I’ve been avoiding with everything I have (or more appropriately—don’t have.) The fact that this is seemingly such a petty non-problem is also frustrating. If it’s a non-problem, why have I allowed it, consciously or not, the influence and effects of a real problem? I really hate myself for it. I know how this sounds,(cough::violin:)and YES, I’m annoyed by me too maybe even more than you are, as I’m sure there’re starving, poverty-stricken people all over the world who’d be delighted to change “problems.”

Every moment since this realization, I’ve tried to simply say, “Who cares? So…you do the best with what you have like everyone else. You’re not smart, but so what? Grow up!” Admittedly, much more easily said than done. It takes perhaps hours to realize, but to disassemble years and years and years of behavioral patterns, thought habits, etc. to replace with more efficient and honest ones, seems a daunting task, indeed. And still, I’ve yet to be able to wholly assimilate this understanding in a workable way—that is, a way that will allow for the synchronization of thought/action—a reliable bridge of the gap between recognition<-->implementation/demonstration of said recognition. I’m stuck. Or, better, dumbst[r]uck.

Where do I go from here…? What do I do? I gather most of you are very intelligent, at least from what I’ve read of you, and so probably don’t have this “problem.” Maybe if you could use that to offer some “outside” advice, if you want, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
 

OrangeAppled

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Your writing style does not strike me as someone who is not intelligent; just thought I'd point that out.

I've had a personality crisis, well, maybe an "intellectuality crisis" in the past, but it stemmed from achieving academically, but then not in "real life" once out of school.

Anyhow, it seems your fear of mediocrity is holding you back, not that your true self is really mediocre. Follow me: You've created an ego, a self-image of being "smart" to cope with some deeply rooted insecurity. When this self-image is threatened, you retreat from the perceived threat. You'd rather avoid things, things you may even desire, than have that image challenged, because you fear it won't hold true. In clinging to the image, you're really holding yourself back & reinforcing the deeper insecurity you created the image to obscure.

Everyone does this to an extent. We all have an ego or self-image developed at an early age, and we want to protect it; removing it is pretty much impossible. In reality, we can only broaden our self image, so it's not as easily threatened.

This realization you're having can be very productive if you steer it right. The former image of self you had does define you, but neither does the fear. Neither is who you really are, but you can see who you are and meet your potential if you broaden that self-image. I suggest looking into enneagram (another typology system). It's pretty interesting/helpful as far as seeing ways to adjust your thinking & basically integrate other qualities into your self-image to keep it from getting so narrow that you're easily threatened by anything that could "disprove" it. It's no longer about protecting some image your mind has created, but exploring your potential in reality.
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
I feel horrible for doing this. I’ve only been here a little while and all I’ve done is talk about myself. I don’t have a good enough understanding of these ideas/theories/concepts to feel qualified to offer up any opinions, but I’m too interested to entirely bow out altogether. That's beside the point.

This is going to sound extremely whiny, and much like a non-problem and I'll probably regret it later. Tune out here, if you will.

I’ve come to the realization that every significant problem in my life, I have unwittingly created for myself. The origins of which, reduce to my reluctance to fully accept the fact that I am a bit below average in most all respects (but mainly intellectually.) How egotistical, no? Why did I place so much importance on it in the first place and not even realize it? What’s the value in it at all if not put to use somehow, be it in a personally satisfying manner, or otherwise? I consciously recognize that there is nothing inherently “wrong” or “bad” about being average, or below average, and can attest to it being the most objectively apt definition of my “level.” I’ve never thought of myself as “intelligent,” nor really “un-intelligent.” It never really crossed my mind, tbh. But only in recognizing the themes of my problems, and consequently trying to fix them, have I come across this. I quite literally have absolutely no aptitude for anything. I was a mediocre student at best, and only in the latter school years, was it for lack of trying. “Everyone has a talent” is a comfortable sentiment and all, but I suspect untrue. If there’re billions of people in the world, surely there will be some who’re just plain shit at everything, no? Everything, from specific manifestations of disproportionate anxiety/panic, total self-isolation, to a pathological aversion to living my life or growing up in any real way—it can all be attributed, at least in essence, to the avoidance of having to put forth honest effort, and in turn, seeing the final products [and finally, me] for what they are—mediocre. I’m mediocre. It’s not unduly self-critical, or pessimistic, but reality. And one in which I’ve been avoiding with everything I have (or more appropriately—don’t have.) The fact that this is seemingly such a petty non-problem is also frustrating. If it’s a non-problem, why have I allowed it, consciously or not, the influence and effects of a real problem? I really hate myself for it. I know how this sounds,(cough::violin:)and YES, I’m annoyed by me too maybe even more than you are, as I’m sure there’re starving, poverty-stricken people all over the world who’d be delighted to change “problems.”

Every moment since this realization, I’ve tried to simply say, “Who cares? So…you do the best with what you have like everyone else. You’re not smart, but so what? Grow up!” Admittedly, much more easily said than done. It takes perhaps hours to realize, but to disassemble years and years and years of behavioral patterns, thought habits, etc. to replace with more efficient and honest ones, seems a daunting task, indeed. And still, I’ve yet to be able to wholly assimilate this understanding in a workable way—that is, a way that will allow for the synchronization of thought/action—a reliable bridge of the gap between recognition<-->implementation/demonstration of said recognition. I’m stuck. Or, better, dumbst[r]uck.

Where do I go from here…? What do I do? I gather most of you are very intelligent, at least from what I’ve read of you, and so probably don’t have this “problem.” Maybe if you could use that to offer some “outside” advice, if you want, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

This was hard for me to read, and to be honest I only read three quarters.


I think you need to see your own importance and participation in life. I would wager you feel insignificant and are trying to find a place that means something.

First step is understanding that you are as equally valuable as any other right now.

The second is using that to create an effect.
 

Gerbah

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I think it is a question of humility and connection to/acceptance of reality. A person needs to have these in order to be at peace. Whether it be at peace with not being intellectually elite, or in the beauty elite, whatever elite, etc. You have this feeling in relation to intelligence but in theory you could feel the same way about any other thing. What would be the point of that? So what is the point of feeling this way about intelligence?

I think if you work towards accepting this, you will feel more motivated to tackle what you call a "daunting task". At the end of the day, every person is in their process of coming to self-knowledge and self-creation, so we are all in the same boat and have the same task in whatever shape or form that might take for the individual, and it's hard for everybody. It can also be an enjoyable process, so I wouldn't beat yourself up about what you see as your "deficiencies". You are what you are and no one else is like you or will be what you will be, and that is special.
 

Totenkindly

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Your writing style does not strike me as someone who is not intelligent; just thought I'd point that out.

Funny. That was exactly my thought after reading only part of the OP. Someone who is "below average" in intelligence does not use complex sentence structure, accurate punctuation, extensive vocabulary including some 4-5 syllable words, unexpected puns, and various conversation styles -- and especially with such unconscious ease.

The ability to use language well is one indicator of intelligence.

You're obviously very smart, Tabula. The issue is something else.

It sounds like you are expecting something special of yourself -- and you see other people as somehow each having something special in themselves, whereas you do not feel uniquely gifted.

I see it much as OA did:

Anyhow, it seems your fear of mediocrity is holding you back, not that your true self is really mediocre. Follow me: You've created an ego, a self-image of being "smart" to cope with some deeply rooted insecurity. When this self-image is threatened, you retreat from the perceived threat. You'd rather avoid things, things you may even desire, than have that image challenged, because you fear it won't hold true. In clinging to the image, you're really holding yourself back & reinforcing the deeper insecurity you created the image to obscure.

I went through this struggle myself, except I could acknowledge that by many people's standards I was 'gifted' (creatively and intellectually) -- yet for me I was never gifted enough to accomplish anything of value. I obsessed over the things I was not gifted in, and I was extremely unhappy regardless of my "gifts" in terms of self-acceptance and relationships, and I also felt like it didn't matter how gifted I was, I would never amount to anything because I wasn't quit gifted enough to do some amazing thing that would change the world forever. I remember making some efforts when younger, bumped up against the limits of my ability at that time, realized compared to the true elite that I was still wanting... and I gave up. Wrote myself off. Put myself down. Hid my passion.

I had to reevaluate my life and assess it differently. I think will and centeredness now is more important than talent. I don't know if I can 'make a difference in the world,' but I definitely can make a difference around myself and in myself, and being content with life and who I am ... self-acceptance... is part of that. Once I know who I am and accept who I am, I have the capability to focus on other things and to just do what I can with what I have around me, without judging myself from some external source and thinking I'm not good enough. I also don't have to be afraid of failure, as it's not really failure but just part of the perseverence of growth and becoming more skilled at things. I'm not out to impress myself or others by trying to be more than I am, I'm just enjoying the thrill of being who I am and doing what I can do.

It's like everything you think of yourself, the ways you view yourself, they all have to be spun on their head. Right now you are stuck in a loop that doesn't really do anything for you but prevent you from going anywhere and being who you can be and in fact are right this moment.
 

Night

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The issue has nothing to do with intelligence; a fact I expect you knew prior to thread creation. Your repetition of key themes in your writing indicates a desire for external validation.

Trying to find such a realization on the Internet is only going to bring dissatisfaction.

Determine why you cannot thoughtfully experience emotional support. What in your life requires repair? How might you advance your station, with these fixes in mind?


Do not be encumbered by the symptoms of insecurity; attack the source.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
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I feel horrible for doing this. I’ve only been here a little while and all I’ve done is talk about myself. I don’t have a good enough understanding of these ideas/theories/concepts to feel qualified to offer up any opinions, but I’m too interested to entirely bow out altogether. That's beside the point.

Well, hey, there's only a couple of people here who seem to understand the theory, and I'm not even sure if they do, since I don't understand it really. I do the same all the time, I compare the theory to my life and talk about that, since my life is the only area I am an expert in. :smile:

I’ve come to the realization that every significant problem in my life, I have unwittingly created for myself. The origins of which, reduce to my reluctance to fully accept the fact that I am a bit below average in most all respects (but mainly intellectually.) How egotistical, no?

Usually it takes some bit of intellectual attitude and motivation to even turn the question around and see what is wrong in yourself. Then, to get somewhere it takes a whole lot of creative problem solving, as all of our self-created problems are fighting to stay in our minds. So, you are a doctor performing a surgery on your own brain.

“Everyone has a talent” is a comfortable sentiment and all, but I suspect untrue. If there’re billions of people in the world, surely there will be some who’re just plain shit at everything, no?

Yes, this is probably true. But it seems more common that people find something that they can compensate with. For example, almost all of the people in the high places seem to be people who are motivated to power. They don't seem to have much leadership or people skills, they are just really really motivated to lead.

That is, by the way, my problem. Motivation. And then there is the flip-side of intellect. I always believed that I am smart. I didn't have to really do much homework since I just got it, and so on... But then I got to the real world, and what do I find? No one cares. The successful people are not in fact intellectually inclined, and there were many people who consciously refused to go that way. Like an old class mate of mine, he was this extremely intelligent guy. He became a plumber, I think. So, I didn't know what to do with it, I was interested in everything but nothing in particular, and I had already developed an elitism so that I couldn't become a plumber. Who needs a jack-of-all-trades, no one. I had to do something so I picked a school that felt good. And where am I now. I'm 28, unemployed professional, even though I am very good in what I do, and could easily be better if someone gave me a chance. But I know, it's not about that, there is the big obstacle in my mind, and I don't seem to get around it. Where do I find something that motivates me?

So, the way I see it, it would have been a lot easier for me if I had less talent (of if I had perceived to have less talent). If I've been good, let's say, only in languages, the choice would have been easy. Of course, I don't think this way, I am happy to be who I am, but I'm just saying that there is a perspective that can make my capability seem like a disadvantage.

Anyhow, where I was going with this. You see that I have the same problem you have, we both feel inadequate, but since we never saw the other side of the story we don't really know if we'd be any happier if things weren't how they are. Say, if I could just get rid of my elitism, and humble myself, and find motivation, what would I be like? Maybe I would be stepping on people's toes all the time because of my motivation and then feeling like shit.
 

Red Herring

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Same initial thoughts here as OrangeApple and Jennifer. You do not sound like intelligence is the issue but rather your perception of it and/or your expectations towards yourself. Which is a familiar situation.

Let me ask you a few questions.
- Do you come from a family of successful people? Are friends and/or family of you gifted? What do they expect of you (or what do you think they expect of you) and what do you yourself expect of you?
- (This sounds like a terrible chliché, I know) Would you describe your parents (or whoever you´d consider your primary family) as loving? Did you feel appreciated as a child?
- I´m no expert on enneagram, but the direction that suggestion was probably going is this: Do you define yourself through your success/failure? Do you base your self worth on your knowledge/competency or your success in life?
- What do you want to get out of life? Do you have a list of things that you think would make your life happier if only you had them? Why?

It takes perhaps hours to realize, but to disassemble years and years and years of behavioral patterns, thought habits, etc. to replace with more efficient and honest ones, seems a daunting task, indeed. And still, I’ve yet to be able to wholly assimilate this understanding in a workable way—that is, a way that will allow for the synchronization of thought/action—a reliable bridge of the gap between recognition<-->implementation/demonstration of said recognition.
This is called cognitive behavioral therapy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy It is usually quite effective, but it is hard to do it on your own, that´s why there are professionals out there.

My ex bf is gifted and has only just now recovered (more or less) from years of clinical depression in which he basically considered himself a cockroach for not achieving what he expected of himself (the roots of this have a lot to do with his cold, unsupportive father). I´m not gifted myself, only narrowly scratching along the borders of that fancy gated community and that lead to a lot of frustration (the Salieri syndrom as I call it, watch Peter Shaffer´s Amadeus!). I had to learn to live with that (and my family not at all getting the problem). And I had to learn (am still working on that) to not always fear failure and subsequent abandonment everytime I make a mistake, to not expect to always give 110% at everything all the time, because it can´t possibly work out and only leaves you exhausted and feeling like an underachiever for not doing everything you wanted to do/get done.

I´m not suggesting that you are or aren´t gifted. Actually the point of this babble is that it shouldn´t matter, because things become unhealthy when you get fixated on those things. I´m just trying to point out that your satisfaction or dissatisfaction with your own intellectual skills (and therefor your self perception of adequacy or inadequacy) are probably independent from your actual intelligence, whatever that might be. If you want to find out where the real problem lies, as others have suggested before me, you might want to ponder the questions above, which are all about setting your values straight (and by straight I mean changing them in such a way that they actually help you in life rather than make you miserable).

Good luck!
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
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Let me ask you a few questions.
- Do you come from a family of successful people? Are friends and/or family of you gifted? What do they expect of you (or what do you think they expect of you) and what do you yourself expect of you?
- (This sounds like a terrible chliché, I know) Would you describe your parents (or whoever you´d consider your primary family) as loving? Did you feel appreciated as a child?
- I´m no expert on enneagram, but the direction that suggestion was probably going is this: Do you define yourself through your success/failure? Do you base your self worth on your knowledge/competency or your success in life?
- What do you want to get out of life? Do you have a list of things that you think would make your life happier if only you had them? Why?

Yeah, these are good questions.
 

Such Irony

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I relate very much to what the OP said and its been a struggle I've faced throughout my life. I know I'm intelligent but what else am I good for? I guess I've never felt that well-rounded and that's bothered me. In high school, I knew people who were good at many things. They were varsity athletes, they were also first chair in band, they were leaders in student government, they were top of their class academically, and to top it all off they were popular and good looking. As for myself, I graduated in the top 10 percent of my class and the only extracurriculars I ever did were nerdy academic stuff.

I've dabbled in alot of different things but never felt I did any of them particularly well. Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations in that I wanted to be good at it right away. On the other hand I did compare myself to others and I did see that they were making progress and getting good quickly and I wasn't.

I just wish there was one area in life I could truly say I was good at. By good, I mean substantially above average- something that most of the population would find impressive.

I want more than just a high IQ score. (And even my IQ isn't that high. On a professional test, its just a little short of gifted).
 

Tabula

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Firstly, thank you all so much for responding. I really appreciate it. If the roles were reversed, I doubt I could’ve been so patient. It’s humbling and admirable.

Addressing the issue of my intelligence or unintelligence—
I assure you that I am not. I won’t get into every little reason for it, as I’ve already said way too much. In short--anyone can learn structure and delivery; I’m lacking where it matters—content (idea, originality, insight, complexity of thought etc.) Idea > Structure. All this proves is that I can make something stupid look better. That’s not a talent; it’s unnecessarily complicating to compensate for the fact that I’m not smart, and so, can’t understand or employ actual complexity. (as an example of what I stated before.) Admittedly, no, it wasn’t conscious, but it’s now easy to see how and why I picked up that habit, having found the right context to understand it in.

I understand why fear and insecurity are seemingly the real problem, and this, only a specific manifestation. I’ve thought a lot about this and concluded that it’s not. The issue is exactly as I’ve stated. Insecurity is a byproduct, not the root problem. I will agree that it need be addressed before I can attempt to uproot the core problem, but that’s only because of the geography of the issue and sub-issues, not because its disproportionate influence is an indication that it’s necessarily the only or “true” problem. Insecurity is simply placed between it (the core issue) and me. To be secure in myself is absolutely integral to cultivating the ability to fully accept harsher truths about myself, and from there, to assimilate it into a broader self-understanding that’s then worked FROM in external interactions with the world. But this isn’t an end unto itself—it’s just a small step in the right direction. Me --> insecurity --> acceptance of mediocrity (and other things) -->living life functionally with and in spite of this understanding. I don’t want to delude myself any further. I want to learn how to more graciously accept truth whilst still maintaining functionality. Weed out my own biases, prejudices, etc. as it were. The lens and the subject shouldn’t (and don’t) matter; only the truth. And how am I ever going to be able to look at something objectively enough to see the truth, if I’m so deluded in my sense of self? You can’t see something for what it is if you’re looking at it through a warped lens, especially when you’re not even aware the lens is warped. To be able to do this, I have to first make amends with my ego, and ultimately, my deficiencies, before I can go on to live life honestly, and thus, attempt to see truth anywhere or really learn anything at all.

Validation of what? I have more than enough validation for the fact that I am intellectually lacking. It isn’t really necessary to make anyone believe it (online or not) to be able to help with the actual issue, as anything can be substituted for “intelligence” depending on who is asking. We all have problems, yes. Mine, having to do with a lack of intelligence, is frustrating, because intelligence is seemingly necessary in order to successfully work through the problem at all! This is primarily the reason I’ve not sought professional help. In doing so, I’d implicitly be validating, or seeking validation, of this “problem” by having sought help with it at all. Given the status of it as a non-problem, it would only serve to hurt me in the long run. I need to stop doing that and learn how to do it myself if I’m ever going to be able to learn how to function despite my deficiencies. The world does not cater to Tabula. The world doesn’t give a shit about Tabula. Tabula is the only person who can make an ACTUAL change in Tabula’s life. As of right now, she's all talk and no action.

I am the first of four children. I grew up in a cookie-cutter suburban environment complete with married parents, a minivan, white picket fence and a dog. I have absolutely nothing to complain about and don’t want even to entertain the thought that anyone but myself could be even partly to blame for my problems. This is ENTIRELY MY OWN DOING. No, they weren’t gifted, nor really successful (by their definition and mine.) Yes, they were supportive. Perhaps even too much if that’s possible. My mother thought I was practically a genius. My father, bless him, was my humbling voice of reason. If not for him, this would be 1000x worse than it is. I may never have figured out I’m not smart, and therefore, would never have been able to identify and fix the problem when it inevitably presented itself in some form. Loving? Ehm. I guess so. My mom is a manipulative emotional vampire (we’re now estranged) and my dad, though an ISTJ, much the more affectionate/affirming/loving. I grew up totally believing that I could do and be absolutely anything I wanted. Brain surgeon? Sure! Rocket scientist? No problem! Me? I wanted to cure fucking cancer, be a composer, novelist, philosopher, and on and on and on… and TOTALLY BELIEVED I COULD! No, this wasn’t cute kindergarten optimism. I carried this with me all the way to HIGH SCHOOL! That is, until I discovered that I can’t do absolutely everything. That actually, I can barely understand and perform simple arithmetic. That’s when I gave up. I’ve never really tried to do anything, so where the hell did I get off thinking I could BE anything?! I feel quite like a fraud in many ways. A deluded, whining, self-important fraud. I’ve never accomplished or done anything to indicate that I’m anything but mediocre, but still for whatever reason thought I could cure cancer. And now, in trying to figure out what exactly it is that I am indeed capable of, it seems that anything will pale in comparison to that prior “understanding.” Everything is going to feel like failure before even starting or trying. THAT is what I need to get rid of. That is what I meant in posting all of this. I know I’m not smart, I know that I can’t cure cancer…so why can’t I just accept it and live accordingly with my real ability? (re: recognition<-->demonstration disconnect I mentioned before.) My goal in life? To be of use. To do something useful. I’m no more important than the next person. My personal happiness shouldn’t be a consideration. I don’t even recognize happiness as a worthy life-goal for myself. It doesn’t make sense and smells like delusion again. I have to reconcile the fact that I’m not a genius and so won’t cure cancer etc. with the reality that I’m not capable of even understanding simple things. Happiness is and should be a temporary cyclical thing—not the ultimate state of being/living [to me.] If I’m content, where then would the motivation to do MORE come from, especially now with the knowledge that I’m below the level I want to be, and so it will be more difficult to do/understand simpler things? I don’t want contentedness. I don’t want to settle. I’ve already slept through most of my life; I’m done with comfort now.


Eh, FWIW, I’m either 9w1 or 5w4. Probably the former, but I don’t know. It’s still hard to separate truth from desire right now. I will be looking into this more, as suggested, however.

It’s obvious that I could go on whining indefinitely, but I will spare you all here at this time. Thank you again for listening to this drivel and humbly offering your own experiences and advice. I greatly appreciate it and will spend much more time thinking about your responses. Thank you.
 

Totenkindly

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I think you've convinced me, Tab.

I don't really want to engage someone in conversation who enjoys writing long pieces of articulate prose about themselves, while arguing that other's acceptance and acknowledgement of her/him is unwarranted and illegitimate and while putting down the very same prose s/he is spending so much time posting as "whining" and "drivel" among other things.

I've had to deal with other people like this before, and I know it's rather pointless until you decide you're actually worth something... unless of course this sort of unhealthy dynamic is actually what you were after all along, and I don't want to play anymore.

If you want to argue and present yourself as not worth anyone's time (which is kind of insulting to our own intelligence), then so be it.
 

Night

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5/8
Provocative.

Tabula: You're not using "intelligence" in the practical sense of the word. The term itself has been broadened to encompass the rationale for any and all obstacles thus far insurmountable in your life. As the presentation of the obstacles becomes more and more difficult - such that you convince yourself you are unable to adequately finish the task - you appear to justify your failure as a consequence of limited mental faculty.

This may or may not be the case. It's actually fairly irrelevant in the context of our discussion.

Why do you wish to be intelligent? That is probably a better question.


Your answer will provide what you believe you are missing in life.

Pay attention to your thinking.
 

Qlip

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As has been mentioned about you (OP), you are unhealthily fixating on intelligence. What this does in effect is to make you an intelligence elitest. You imply, by your own self loathing, that intelligence and measuring yourself by it against other people is the sole value of human worth. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, but I know many irl who are smarter than me, and many many more online who are smarter than me. If you expand the competition to types of intelligence, then that guy down the street that can take apart and put an engine together by memory, but has a vocabulary of 5 words is more intelligent than me.

I don't put those smarter than me up on a pedestal, and neither do I step on those who aren't. If you feel you have to judge yourself and others against a measure, there are better metrics than intelligence.
 
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This thread frankly amused me. Multiple studies have shown that anyone with IQs 120 and up can conceivably do anything that they put their mind to; i.e. intelligence is not the determining factor in life success. Anything above 140 has a crippling effect on social skills and relatability; i.e. people are handicapped by their intelligence because it restricts the people whom they can relate to. Being a genius is not all that it's cut out to be, you seem to have an idealised picture of "intelligence solving every problem in the universe" when it's probable that it's created most of them, too.

I'd say that you're using intelligence as an excuse for failure. As part of growing up (particularly in your teens and 20s) failure in at least one area of your life is inevitable. It's when you don't learn/move on and look for excuses/uncontrollables like "intelligence" for why your life didn't turn out the way that you thought it would, that you become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm an intelligent failure in a large part of my life. It's obvious to me that the reasons why I am not living the life that I wish I was are:
a) due to bad decision-making
b) self-indulgent behavior and attitudes
c) various other issues
It makes a lot more sense to actively work on all of the above than whine about being limited by what I'm given.
 

Stanton Moore

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Tabula,
You remind me of myself...
I think you need to reframe things. Intelligence is not a static thing, nor is it of fundamental importance in life. People have done great things by concentating on other aspects of their being, like compassion. Does any really care what Gandhi's IQ was?
My father was a brillliant man. graduated HS at 15, college at 19, got the highest score ever (at that time) on the math and science test at the SoCal chapter of Mensa...yet he was not able to translate his intellectual ability into being a good father. In that sphere, he was quite handicapped. His IQ didn't result in greater happiness for him or anyone he knew. Because of his childhood, he was an emotional cripple, and he crippled others, as usually happens...
The reality is that you all you need to be is smart enough. Then the question is: what do you want to do? What do you desire for yourself?
 

OrangeAppled

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Tabula,
You remind me of myself...
I think you need to reframe things. Intelligence is not a static thing, nor is it of fundamental importance in life. People have done great things by concentating on other aspects of their being, like compassion. Does any really care what Gandhi's IQ was?
My father was a brillliant man. graduated HS at 15, college at 19, got the highest score ever (at that time) on the math and science test at the SoCal chapter of Mensa...yet he was not able to translate his intellectual ability into being a good father. In that sphere, he was quite handicapped. His IQ didn't result in greater happiness for him or anyone he knew. Because of his childhood, he was an emotional cripple, and he crippled others, as usually happens...
The reality is that you all you need to be is smart enough. Then the question is: what do you want to do? What do you desire for yourself?

This is EXACTLY what I was getting at with my babbling about expanding your self-image. This is much more concise though :D
What else can you be, besides intelligent? I especially like the idea of getting past this insecurity by focusing more on others. What part of yourself can you develop that aids others as opposed to reinforcing your own ego?
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

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I see the answer as being pretty simple. If you don't feel intelligent instead of resigning to this 'hopeless' fact obtain the knowledge that you see as the most practical. If you were to attain the knowledge, and better yet understand it the insecurities that are the byproduct will disappear and you'll feel accomplished and smart and whatever other synonym that exists. I see in you what until recently was in me. I would 'acknowlege' my failures hoping someone would say it's alright. I would also occasionally accept them and say that I have moved on just so that people would respect and yet again tell me how mature I was being. I still do in some cases and it is a difficult habit to get out of, but if you want to move on you truly do have to let it go and leave it unspoken so that it can be forgotten. There are times when telling a fault is the best way to move on, but true acceptance is stating it and then forgetting about it. Work towards the knowledge you want and everything falls into place. /end opinion.
 

LunarMoon

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As has been mentioned about you (OP), you are unhealthily fixating on intelligence. What this does in effect is to make you an intelligence elitest. You imply, by your own self loathing, that intelligence and measuring yourself by it against other people is the sole value of human worth. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, but I know many irl who are smarter than me, and many many more online who are smarter than me. If you expand the competition to types of intelligence, then that guy down the street that can take apart and put an engine together by memory, but has a vocabulary of 5 words is more intelligent than me.
I feel somewhat bad about saying this but intelligence is an extremely important component in accomplishing ones goals. I don’t feel that anyone is doing anyone else a favor by claiming otherwise, anymore than would be true if someone were to say that social skills or even physical attractiveness don’t effect one’s station in life. In an equal world, then yes, perhaps they wouldn’t, but in this particular one, your ability to reason and understand issues, to get along with and understand others, and to appeal to others physically are extremely important in accomplishing one’s goals, whatever those goals may be. We should at least admit that if whatever intellectual abilities you have that are necessary for a particular job are below average, than you are going to have a very hard time becoming a lawyer, scientist, doctor, engineer, or corporate CEO. It severely short changes your options.

The good news, though, is that you’ve presented no evidence that you’re in this position, while in comparison, there’s a great deal that you can most likely do to increase your abilities. The ability to apply various intellectual faculties has been shown to be correlated with whether a person believes that their intelligence is set in stone or whether it can be increased. So simply believing that intelligence is a malleable concept will vastly increase your ability to better these faculties.

You, like just about everyone else, also have not proven at all that you have maxed out your overall potential. In fact, it seemed to be the contrary, when you mentioned that you simply stopped trying at a certain point. So you have to ask yourself. Do you want to end up contemplating this situation a decade from now or are you going to do something about it? Whether you actually have the “potential” to make vast contributions to humanity or not, you’ll never find out until you’ve pushed yourself to your limits just as everyone else who has accomplished anything worthwhile has had to do. People such as Bill Gates only make it look easy since the public only sees the end result of what in actuality, is several years of hard work.
 

Qlip

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I feel somewhat bad about saying this but intelligence is an extremely important component in accomplishing ones goals. I don’t feel that anyone is doing anyone else a favor by claiming otherwise, anymore than would be true if someone were to say that social skills or even physical attractiveness don’t effect one’s station in life. In an equal world, then yes, perhaps they wouldn’t, but in this particular one, your ability to reason and understand issues, to get along with and understand others, and to appeal to others physically are extremely important in accomplishing one’s goals, whatever those goals may be. We should at least admit that if whatever intellectual abilities you have that are necessary for a particular job are below average, than you are going to have a very hard time becoming a lawyer, scientist, doctor, engineer, or corporate CEO. It severely short changes your options.

The good news, though, is that you’ve presented no evidence that you’re in this position, while in comparison, there’s a great deal that you can most likely do to increase your abilities. The ability to apply various intellectual faculties has been shown to be correlated with whether a person believes that their intelligence is set in stone or whether it can be increased. So simply believing that intelligence is a malleable concept will vastly increase your ability to better these faculties.

You, like just about everyone else, also have not proven at all that you have maxed out your overall potential. In fact, it seemed to be the contrary, when you mentioned that you simply stopped trying at a certain point. So you have to ask yourself. Do you want to end up contemplating this situation a decade from now or are you going to do something about it? Whether you actually have the “potential” to make vast contributions to humanity or not, you’ll never find out until you’ve pushed yourself to your limits just as everyone else who has accomplished anything worthwhile has had to do. People such as Bill Gates only make it look easy since the public only sees the end result of what in actuality, is several years of hard work.

I have to disagree with you. Potential to accomplish great things doesn't require intelligence. It requires any numbers of combinations of things: perserverance, intelligence, resources, talent, and most of all serendipity.

Accomplishing a goal is easy depending on where you set the goal. But, some goals will always be out of certain people's reach if they are missing any one ingredient. When I read about people wanting to achieve *something*, I substitute in my head with what I think their unspoken desire is: to be content. I don't believe this requires intelligence.
 
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