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Suffocating in depression?

Vie

Giggity
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Jun 9, 2010
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792
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When you feel like you can't go on and that nothing matters from the minute you wake up till the time you finally drop off to sleep and you know that you are just constantly annoying people with your miserableness...

What do you do? How do you make it stop?
Talking to someone doesn't help, it just makes me feel pathetic. I've begun to run out of ideas.
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
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Forcing yourself to do things that would logically give you more energy and motivation (exercise, talking with people, etc) usually make things better after a while.
 

prplchknz

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yupp
I relate to this, especially talking to people part. the only thing that's helped me and I've tried just therapy is meds. And yes people might view you as lazy but if you've been down the road I have tried everything and nothing works. I still have times where I'm depressed, I'm depressed right now, and I reacently had a med change because of it so I'm re adjusting. Maybe I'm hopeless maybe will stop working for me, maybe I am destined to be depressed but I know that a combination of meds and talk therapy help me.
 

Mole

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Mar 20, 2008
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20,284
Help

When you feel like you can't go on and that nothing matters from the minute you wake up till the time you finally drop off to sleep and you know that you are just constantly annoying people with your miserableness...

What do you do? How do you make it stop?
Talking to someone doesn't help, it just makes me feel pathetic. I've begun to run out of ideas.

Clinical Depression is suffocating. And it suffocates some to death. It suffocates not only our feelings but our very breath itself. No wonder we hate and fear it.

And it cuts us off from others, for we are in rapport when we breathe together.

We are dependent on our breath for life. And when we are suffocating with Clinical Depression or water-boarding, we feel we are being tortured. And we are.

So it is vital to ask for help.
 

Tabula

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so/sx
I think the only way to give you useful advice would be to know the origin of the depression. I know that, for myself, it was on account of slowly adopting a really nihilistic worldview that began to bleed into, and personally affect me; I didn't even realize I was depressed until I really stepped out and looked at my situation because I had thought it only applied to how I thought and was "outside of me" and therefore unable to affect me emotionally. [Depression does NOT always mean sad!] Self-induced, however, is MUCH different than organic, or one with an unknown source (tricky.)

I'd start by trying to think of why, or what may have potentially caused you to feel this way. Did something happen? Do you just feel frustrated for no reason? Are you experiencing any big life changes (college, marriage, job change, etc.) that may make you feel confused, ineffectual, lost, or helpless? Or is it something that feels like it literally came out of no-where? Like you just woke up one day and felt lethargic, that nothing is worth it, that you just simply don't want to get up?

There are some people that naturally fall into and become content in routines very easily. You're busy, you've many things on your mind, etc. It's easy to forget that you need small changes for your health time and again. After a while, you might feel a sense of general frustration with an unknown cause, which then amplifies and perpetuates the frustration because you can't pinpoint it. It's in these times that a small change is warranted, as it is a pre-cursor to depression. If ignored and left to fester, you'll find yourself inexplicably depressed and when you finally do figure out the cause, it necessitates a BIG change (instead of small; it's proportional to the level [severity] of dissatisfaction/depression) which is harder to perform when you're depressed, but is still the only way out. (vicious circle...) I think this is why we call it a downward spiral, a loop--because it literally is.

I hope you find your way out. Good luck.
 

Vie

Giggity
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I just feel like it crept back up on me, this depression.
That I'm a bother to everyone around me, constantly feeling guilty at every single thing I do.
That every action I take is the wrong one, regarding life and the people in it. I irrationally feel as though everyone hates me, and that they would be happier in the long run if I was just not there to bring them down anymore.

It seems so stupid and silly. I feel like if I tell anyone in my life what is going on they are going to be disappointed or feel the need to pity me.
 

prplchknz

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yupp
I just feel like it crept back up on me, this depression.
That I'm a bother to everyone around me, constantly feeling guilty at every single thing I do.
That every action I take is the wrong one, regarding life and the people in it. I irrationally feel as though everyone hates me, and that they would be happier in the long run if I was just not there to bring them down anymore.

It seems so stupid and silly. I feel like if I tell anyone in my life what is going on they are going to be disappointed or feel the need to pity me.
you really have no idea how much i relate to this.
 

Tabula

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so/sx
I just feel like it crept back up on me, this depression.
That I'm a bother to everyone around me, constantly feeling guilty at every single thing I do.
That every action I take is the wrong one, regarding life and the people in it. I irrationally feel as though everyone hates me, and that they would be happier in the long run if I was just not there to bring them down anymore.

Bother to others--->depressed-->bother to others

or

Depressed--->bother to others--> depressed ?

It looks silly, but I think it a very important distinction.

If you felt depressed, and because of that, don't want to "burden" others, the remedy is going to look much different than if you became depressed BECAUSE you already felt you were a burden to others.

Vicious circle, indeed.

It seems so stupid and silly. I feel like if I tell anyone in my life what is going on they are going to be disappointed or feel the need to pity me.


What is going on?
 

Trentham

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Exercise. Failing that - meds. Don't let the fucking doctor short change you, either. My ex-wife got Xanax and 60 mg of Zoloft and there wasn't a damn thing wrong with her except chronic bitch-itis.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
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Mar 4, 2009
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I have found a few things to be effective against depression:

1) Go out and ride a bike or run, walk fast etc. the more the better. Get sweaty, get out of breath. Oxygen is important.
2)Yoga helps to. Again, deep breathing is so important.
3)Try this: take a deep breath, all the way in. now let it out slowly. Your heart rate will decrease, and you will feel calmer. Do this 5 times, whenever you think of it. Combine with 5).
4)Smile at a stranger. See how they react. Send a card to relative. Do something for someone else. It changes your perspective so you feel less isolated. When you make other people happy, you become happier.
5)Stop and think about how your body feels right now. Can you feel your clothes against your skin? What do you smell? Is there a breeze? what do you hear? If you focus on what you feel right now, you will not focus on your mood as much.
 

cafe

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Cognitive therapy is the best thing I've tried so far. The therapist helps you to look at things more objectively and it helps re-frame your thought patterns, which in turn improves how you feel.

I've found that I physically have low energy and that if I accommodate that reality, I'm pretty happy and balanced. When I don't accommodate it -- by allowing myself to be dragged into a lot of activities outside my normal routine or beating myself up for not getting more done -- that's when I start the terrible downward spiral.

So I've learned to try to keep a low demand schedule and to just tell my brain to STFU when it starts in on me. It has been working reasonably well for the last several year, sans meds. I'm not against the idea of meds, but every one I've tried has just made me feel worse.

But I feel you. There was a while a few years back when my happy thought was stabbing myself in the chest. Couldn't pull a Cynthia Plath on my kids like that, though, you know?
 

Vie

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I've tried meds and they just made me feel emptier on the inside. Talking to a therapist helped for a while, but towards the end I just felt like I was repeating myself and nothing was coming from it.
I feel like this miserableness is never going to go away. My best friend says I bring this upon myself and I just need to think happy thoughts. But I can't. All I think about is how to end it, how relieving it will be to just...not feel this anymore. I know that people say the feeling passes, but it seems like this feeling isn't passing. I just feel as though everything is going wrong and the only way to correct it is to just...let go.

I know that isn't very rational thinking. I know that I'm talking like a crazy person. I just...want it to all stop, you know?
 

Trentham

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I know that isn't very rational thinking. I know that I'm talking like a crazy person. I just...want it to all stop, you know?

Yep. In fact at times like these I think a rational mind does more harm than good. Sometimes you need to be able to simply have faith that over time things will change for the better. It sounds NF'y but it's true.
 

Haight

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I know that isn't very rational thinking. I know that I'm talking like a crazy person. I just...want it to all stop, you know?
Let it be noted that this site is neither created for, or equipped to, deal with matters of extreme depression. This site is only able, on occasion, to help people understand others and themselves through discussion about type theory. For that reason, I advise you to seek medical assistance somewhere other than this typology site.

It's simply not geared to deal with the matters you are facing.
 

MoneyTick

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May 21, 2010
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Sometimes in life the solution is right in front of us, yet we fail to notice it.

Go to the doctor, tell him to prescribe you 10mg of Adderall XR. (You may have to fake that you have ADD). Then get into the stock market, start your own business, or take few extra college courses and fill your mind with useful knowledge.

Its only those that can find other innovative approaches, beyond those already tried, that will find the ultimate solution.

If you heed my post, I'll swear you'll PM me a huge thank you narrative.
 

Ivy

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Just a reminder:

Typology Central is not equipped with mental health care professionals qualified to give mental health advice.

If anyone here is contemplating suicide we urge you to contact professionals for help.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK
1.800.SUICIDE - National Suicide Prevention Hotline
SAVE | Suicide prevention information, suicide, depression awareness

When threads overtly refer to suicide we usually remove them. I would like to see this one remain since there have been no overt references to suicide and it has been mostly so positive and supportive. Just be aware that advice given on TypoC is not a substitute for tangible, real-life help. I wish everyone here the best.

Edit: I started writing this post and had to step away, and by the time I finished writing it Haight had posted just about the same thing. Redundancy FTW.
 

SecondBest

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Just keep walking. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

If there are any normative judgments being made in your brain, stop them. Let the depression take you where it wants to. You want to go out for a run, go out for a run. You want to eat a pint of Haagen Daas, eat a pint of Haagen Daas. You want to talk to people, then talk to people. Do whatever you feel like doing - but don't give up. Don't think and don't think too far ahead. Just watch your feet. One foot in front of the other.
 

Trentham

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Just keep walking. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

If there are any normative judgments being made in your brain, stop them. Let the depression take you where it wants to. You want to go out for a run, go out for a run. You want to eat a pint of Haagen Daas, eat a pint of Haagen Daas. You want to talk to people, then talk to people. Do whatever you feel like doing - but don't give up. Don't think and don't think too far ahead. Just watch your feet. One foot in front of the other.
Good advice.
 

Tigerlily

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I just feel like it crept back up on me, this depression.
That I'm a bother to everyone around me, constantly feeling guilty at every single thing I do.
That every action I take is the wrong one, regarding life and the people in it. I irrationally feel as though everyone hates me, and that they would be happier in the long run if I was just not there to bring them down anymore.

It seems so stupid and silly. I feel like if I tell anyone in my life what is going on they are going to be disappointed or feel the need to pity me.
Can you think of anything that may have triggered this? What's going on in your life atm?

As for people hating you, that isn't true. People are usually too self absorbed to give us that much thought to be honest.

I've only been extremely depressed a few times that I can think of and I'm just thankful I chose to live. If you can find a good therapist, that can help. Meds have helped me in the past. I had good results with Prozac. I remember we had moved to Charlotte for my husbands work and were renting an apt. Our house was for sale in another city but wasn't selling so we were paying rent and mortgage. I was miserable. Looking back there was no reason for me to feel the way I did, yet at the time I remember driving down the street thinking that if I were alone in the car, I'd like to drive into a wall and be at peace. I made it back to the apartment, got through that night and went to the doctor (walk in urgent care center) the following morning and was given prozac and xanax. So yeah, it does in fact get better.

Exercise and Omega 3 (fish oil) is what I rely on these days. I also stopped drinking coffee and I am a lot calmer (less agitated).
 

Mole

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Mar 20, 2008
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Sympathy and Delusion

Our way here is to say how we feel and ask if anyone feels the same.

This is called sympathy, for sympathy means to feel the same as.

It reminds me of my visits to the Psyche Ward of Little Bay Hospital where I was surprised to discover that those suffering from schizophrenia were validating one another's delusions of thought. In other words we had schizophrenics sympathising with schizophrenics and confirming one another in their delusions of thought.

It also reminded me of the pro anorexic site where anorexics sympathise with one another's delusions. And encourage one another to diet.

And because this site is based on naive sympathy, we sympathise with the emotional delusions of those suffering from Clinical Depression.

This is validating the emotional delusion.

And such emotional delusions do prove fatal in a high number of cases.
 
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