Punching yourself in the hypothetical balls.

[ThatGirl]

Okay, so I just observed something about myself.

I may AT TIMES run toward unrealistic goals. Though I never think they are unrealistic. Actually, I think, if someone has done it, so can I.

Every now and then, I realize the best thing to do is stop. Accept defeat on one level because that maximizes the greater productivity on another. (See thread, why can't I just stay down).

I get this logic, though at the same time, it feels like I am losing the utility of the original goal. Ultimately, I see it as failure, even if I know I am doing the right thing in the long run. I hate to be defeated. I start kicking myself.

I guess I am wondering, how you give up? I get the goal is still the same. But as I measure skill by efficiency, it makes me feel like shit, I didn't get it right the first time.

....If that makes any sense?

Thoughts?

 

[Chunes]

Actions which are seen as failures are rarely purely failures. Buckminster Fuller described his term 'precession' which means the unintended consequences of any action. All actions produce some effect that we could never have foreseen beforehand, and often they lead toward somewhere good. Maybe alter your perspective and think about how precession might have emerged from your actions. The fact that you're out there striving enough to create many of these forces which may well end up acting in concert and guiding you toward your potential places you firmly among the upper tier of achievers.

 

[ThatGirl]

Nice message, thanks.

Upon further evaluation today I have decided that this punch yourself in the balls pattern comes from a combination of the following attitudes:


You would have to pry my goals from my cold dead hands. I put more force into my ideal outcome than accept a lesser (more time consuming) path. Like the captain going down with the ship, refusing to jump.

Super 8, if I feel like I am being coerced to a specific outcome I will drop all goals relating to someones external motives. This to show I cannot be used, controlled, or anyones bitch, and that nothing is sacred enough to have influence over me.

Thinking I can will my body into doing things it refuses to. Like operating optimaly (mentally) off 4 hours of sleep.

Thinking I am already behind the game, so I need to push twice as hard as others to maintain an equal position.

Massive frustration at ANYTHING that goes wrong, or even not as smoothly as it could.

Anyway, yeah emo post. But if anyone has ever experienced or relates to any of these set backs, I would be curious as to any tips they used to overcome them while remaining consistently productive.

 

[Hate]

I have thoughts I can offer about prevention from punching myself in the literal balls.

Would that still be sufficient?

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I can offer advice on how to punch someone in their balls and make it hurt a lot.

 

[ThatGirl]

I am actually surprised no one could relate to these attitudes.....Interesting.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I found the situation in your OP a bit too abstract to reply in any definite form. I understand the concept of backtracking; I've spent the last 6 months coding an efficient backtracking algorithm for a certain problem.

I just wondered on what level you do your backtracking. What redefinition of goals is there, etc.

 

[rav3n]

We thrive on goals. This is fact. Attaining the unattainable is a rush. But what's the cost/benefit to the goal beyond momentary satisfaction?

Also, when you perceive life as a win-lose, it's self-defeating. As a consideration, perceive life as a learning experience. Okay, I did it or okay, no go. What did I do or didn't do and what did I learn?

It's okay to acknowledge limitations, as long as limitations aren't driving us.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

Hmm... This may not be the same thing... but even if I have an unrealistic goal, I feel like a failure if I don't at least try. A lot of times I'm failed, but been pretty surprised that I got farther than I ever dreamed I would have. So I keep trying, and each time I get a little closer.

I tend to give up when I get bored... Or I become distracted by a new goal.

 

[Zukram.]

I'd never try something that I don't think I could do, as I think it's much better to apply my energies toward something I can actually accomplish. The downside to this is sometimes I get things confused, as in "I can definately do this!"(No, you can't.), and the opposite "I can't do this!"(Yes, you can, you just didn't/don't apply yourself enough).

That said, once I set a goal for myself, it's nearly impossible for me to drop it or give up. Most times it takes an external person coming out and saying to me "Dude, give it up" before I actually realize I'm wasting my time on something, because I'm not the kind of person to admit defeat.

 

[ThatGirl]

Yeah, I guess it comes from recognizing an ideal standard.

Outline: This task can be done in this amount of time and net this result.

Kink: It doesn't go as planned or there is a set back.

Me: Are you fucking kidding me?!? Tries another approach. That doesn't work. Starts to get frustrated because you see the efficiency of the task devolving. (What someone said more effort than is netting result)

Urgency: To now complete this task in a way that makes it all worth it, you have to push twice as hard. People start telling you it just can't work like that. You remember the original goal, and think in the simplest terms, it wasn't out of the question to shoot for it from the beginning. Work harder, get frustrated, and possibly angry at others (who now stand in front of you to say "Stop!" What are you thinking? This is an impossible task)

Ball punching: Either admitting defeat on an issue you knew was more than able to be conquered. Or by blaming yourself for not being as smart as people who actually achieved it.

Result: Rearranges methods, time lines, expectations, to continue toward the same goal from a very different approach. Usually this gets you one step closer.

I hope that made the process I am speaking about a bit more clear.

 

[rav3n]

Assuming you're talking about a team effort, wouldn't you have taken into consideration the team's abilities, including weaknesses?

 

[ThatGirl]

Yeah about that, I tend to be an "I" team....

But I don't want to get too personalized in this thread. Like I said I thought more people would have displayed at least some of those characteristics, we could analyze the dynamic. If it is just me well shit, let the thread die.

 

[Frank]

Okay, so I just observed something about myself.

I may AT TIMES run toward unrealistic goals. Though I never think they are unrealistic. Actually, I think, if someone has done it, so can I.

Every now and then, I realize the best thing to do is stop. Accept defeat on one level because that maximizes the greater productivity on another. (See thread, why can't I just stay down).

I get this logic, though at the same time, it feels like I am losing the utility of the original goal. Ultimately, I see it as failure, even if I know I am doing the right thing in the long run. I hate to be defeated. I start kicking myself.

I guess I am wondering, how you give up? I get the goal is still the same. But as I measure skill by efficiency, it makes me feel like shit, I didn't get it right the first time.

....If that makes any sense?

Thoughts?

I prefer to look at moments like this as necessary changes in strategy. Plus only a fool would continue something with no real reason other than their ego. Nothing to be ashamed of friend. My only recommendation would be to make sure the lesson of the situation is learned so adjustments can be made next time around.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Most of my endeavors fall on their face because I don't care enough about details. I can see them quite clearly, but I foolishly believe that I can tackle them without preperation, this however hardly ever works. I suppose I rely too much on improvisation. Even now, I quit studying because I believe that I'll remember when I see the question, this allows me to pass, but not excel.

 

[Valiant]

Teeg, there's nothing "hypothetical" about your balls =P