As I got older though, I started taking a new approach. It really is like a monster under the bed. Instead of hiding under the covers I decided to really look it in the face. What was it going to do, kill me? Destroy my sanity? Make me explode?
I faced those memories and I won't lie, it hurt like hell. It was the kind of pain that literally had me on the floor shaking, crying, and feeling like my whole body might rattle apart. I felt the way as I did as a kid, but then I forced myself to remember I was grown up. It was sort of like going back in time to pick that little girl up and tell her it was okay, and not her fault.
It really changed so much, and while I'll still remember a lot of those things and I might get a pang, those memories do not have an eighth of the ability to paralyze me as they used to. They're just memories, but they don't kick me around because I accept. It hurt, and while it sounds like another cliche', it was like being set free.
I just think it's best to reckon with it and accept these things happened. There will never come a time when you don't have past situations that will mess with your head. No one in this world is perfect, no one in this world makes all the right choices all the time, no one in this world always says the right thing. We're human, we f**k up, we react too emotionally sometimes and sometimes we behave in ways we wish we hadn't.
I think it's best to accept that, think about all things we can do to improve, and be ready to do it all over again the next time a situation arises that is painful, embarrassing, or challenging.