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Self Improvement

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
How do you overcome personal weaknesses? As in your internal attitudes that show in negative outward behaviour.

For example: Irresponsibility or impulsiveness or [insert your personal trait here].
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
Ooooh. I am a little bit obsessed with self-improvement, maybe. Hm... some different things I have done at different points, depending on what I was working on:

  • The most basic of course is that I just try to be aware of it. A lot of the times I'm not even aware of it until after the fact, if that. So first step is being aware, simply seeing myself acting a particular way is sometimes all I need to change.

  • I also look at motivations for why I'm acting like that. Sometimes it's as simple as realizing what the motivations are, and, once I see how unrooted in reality they are, any desire to behave in that way disappears. Other times though I have to address the motivations themselves.

  • Also, depending on the behavior, avoiding situations where I'm likely to act in the particular manner while purposefully putting myself in situations where I'm likely to display the positive behavior. Purposefully placing myself among particular friends who are more supportive of the good behavior, etc. Small successes like that help me to feel more motivated/hopeful and are almost like a 'practice ground' for more difficult situations.

  • Finally, it's easier sometimes to bend/divert (for lack of a better word) energy than to completely stop that energy altogether. If I can channel the energy I would be expending on the negative behavior into something constructive, then I don't have as much energy for the negative behavior AND I've done something constructive.

  • FINALLY finally, be patient and kind toward myself, because no change happens overnight, and if anything, it seems like changes go slowly in an upward spiral (at least for me), kind of circling over and over the same life lessons. But each time around I hopefully progress a little bit from where I was before.

Sorry if that was so vague, Trinity... I see if I can come up with examples from my life that aren't too personal for each of those ideas if you want something more concrete.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This is not at all vague, Gromit, and is very good advice. Like many things, it is a process I am aware of in theory, and need to motivate myself to implement more in practice. Your first step is critical: awareness of the behaviors as they are happening, or even as they are about to happen, must precede any other steps.
 
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