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Thread: Self-Esteem

  1. #11
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Jul 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I've always felt there's a subtle distinction to be made between self-esteem and self-confidence.

    There have been various times in my life when I've been either:

    1. Completely sure of my worth as a person, but frustrated and unconfident about whether or not others recognize it (is it lack of confidence in my social skills, but belief that despite lacking them I'm still good and worthwhile, or is it lack of confidence in others' perception and discernment?)

    2. Completely confident of my ability to make a good impression, certain that I can make anyone like me, but yet desperately insecure as to my actual worth, so that when compliments are paid to me they feel meaningless because they're complimenting an 'act' - I'm not really a good person.

    In situation 1 I have high self esteem but low confidence; in situation 2 it's the reverse.
    Functionally, I would say Situation 1 is you judging yourself positively via Ti and negatively via Fe, and Situation 2 is you judging yourself positively via Fe and negatively via Ti. So the two are opposite one another. But one doesn't seem to preclude the other.

    Anyway, I'm also guessing 1 is self-esteem, and 2 is self-confidence. Having both would mean that you were sure of your own value and your ability to make a good impression as yourself. Having neither would mean you felt worthless internally and thought no one liked you.

    Did I follow you correctly?

  2. #12
    Senior Member FallsPioneer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    What is it?
    It's a judgment of the self's worth. It usually lends itself to security as a person and (stable) happiness.

    How does one increase it?
    The most obvious way to increase self-esteem is to be faced with your successes, to do things you're good at, things that can reassure you of your value and assets as a person. We need to be reminded why we are good people. Self-loving. (?) Any way of convincing yourself that you're one awesome dude/chick.

    Should it be increased?
    You take it (because you know you're good enough)
    leave it (because you think you're not worth it...not worth yourself.)

    How would one help a friend with unrealistically low self-esteem?
    Two ways:

    1. Show them that they can be successful.

    2. Show them that they are loved.

    Go with both.

    Should it be earned (given based on evidence)? or should it be unconditional?
    Evidence? Evidence helps. But nobody really sucks, some people just decide to suck, for whatever reason. I don't think it's fair to say that you have to earn the right to love yourself and believe you're a good person. So I would think unconditional...

    Oh yeah, and substitute's post was awesome.
    Still using a needle to break apart a grain of sand.

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