What's the difference between hurt Fe and hurt Fi?

[Mole]

The Tricked and the Tricksters

I think a hurt Fe comes off a bit more chaotic than a hurt Fi... reason being they just internalize it all... most of the time. I think many might be oblivious to me being hurt, unless they notice a lack of smiling and bubbliness. With a hurt Fe, however, it's usually pretty obvious... they make their pain well known or just act erratically. However, this is just from my experience with myself, an INFP, an ENFP, an ESFJ, and an INFJ. I do have one enigma of this type however, and that is my ESFP roommate, who is technically an Fi... but she makes her pain heard. But another ESFP that I know of often hides her pain, pretending to be all smiles on the outside even when shit's got her down.

This is called a Cold Reading.

It is a minor skill of confidence tricksters.

But first the gullible must want to be tricked.

How many of the gullible does it take to be tricked?
Only one, but they must want to be tricked.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

So you're saying pursuing someone for conflict resolution when upset is Fe? Because when I'm upset (unless I just totally hate that person and never want to see them again) I seek to talk to that person and I'd even rather argue than avoid the subject. Is that Fe? I have a hard time resolving my own feelings without the other person discussing it with me, etc.

i don't think so. i'm Fi. if someone hurts my feelings though... i'm likely to act out with rage. i don't know if this is learned behavior or natural behavior for me... but i do it. i've had some crazy outburts in my time.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

This is called a Cold Reading.

It is a minor skill of confidence tricksters.

But first the gullible must want to be tricked.

How many of the gullible does it take to be tricked?
Only one, but they must want to be tricked.

i don't know what that all means... but i did think about it afterwards, before reading your reply to it, and realized how off i was in even discussing myself.

 

[Mole]

i don't know what that all means... but i did think about it afterwards, before reading your reply to it, and realized how off i was in even discussing myself.

Look, you are a lovely shy person. You are the last person who needs to put themselves down.

So if I were your older brother I would say this - when I critique what you say, you can always critique me back.

Reciprocity is the key. When I praise, you praise. When I critique, you critique. And vice versa.

In this way we have a little dance together.

Two equals responding turn and turn about.

And as we turn and turn about one another we are careful not to get too dizzy.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Look, you are a lovely shy person. You are the last person who needs to put themselves down.

So if I were your older brother I would say this - when I critique what you say, you can always critique me back.

Reciprocity is the key. When I praise, you praise. When I critique, you critique. And vice versa.

In this way we have a little dance together.

Two equals responding turn and turn about.

And as we turn and turn about one another we are careful not to get too dizzy.

i didn't put myself down. i thought about what i wrote, and i realized i was very incorrect and didn't think it through before putting fingers to keyboard. i agree with your statement. it was a cold analysis. what are you trying to get at with all of this talk about playing trickster and doing a dance with you?

 

[wildcat]

I know the difference between Fe's and Fi's reasoning for choosing ethical standards, moral behavior, etc. but I've seen people talk about hurt Fe vs. hurt Fi. Do they really look that different? How so? Examples please. Thanks.

Hurt feelings is about ethical standards.
Js and Ps have a different set of rules and expectations.
Fi is J as an object.
A dichotomy is about an agent.

 

[Thalassa]

Hurt feelings is about ethical standards.
Js and Ps have a different set of rules and expectations.

which are?

 

[Snow Turtle]

I've seen alot of my asian Fi-based friends adopt Fe-style communication due to eastern culture. For this reason, it's easy to get confused between the two when people start exhibiting behaviour that is representive of both functions. These are the functions I've seen so far:

Asian ISFP - She's more likely to withdraw into a shell. You have to sort of drag the problem out of her. Occasionally she'd be overwhelmed by emotions where it's clear that she's not her usual self.

Extreme (Fi) ISFP - She's quite vocal about her hatred for particular people that have caused much distress in her life. The emotions are much more expressive and raw but this might be more to do with the fact that she takes things to heart easily and the fact that she surrounds herself with other unhealthy Fi users that cause pain.

Asian ESFP - Just starts crying when things aren't going as planned. She keeps in a fair bit since it's rude to bring negativity upon others (cultural).

ISFJ - Depressive behaviour and Internal Ranting.

ISFJ - Blocks out communication and de-values self worth in the process.

Me - Similar to the other two ISFJs. It's basically the whole passive aggressive behaviour where I'm likely to just get up and leave when I feel disrespected and hurt. For the next hour or two, I'll just basically be walking around thinking about the entire thing, trying to work out what it is that is bothering me and how the situation wasn't fair. You'll rarely catch me expressing my emotions straight away since I'm more likely to dwell on the matter for hours or days before sharing my dissatisfaction.

The times I've outbursted are basically when I'm rejected on the spot. Expressing new emotions/feelings generated from the moment make me feel like an idiot since I'm usually incoherent. Afterwards I'd just go back into my shell to collect the emotions.

 

[KDude]

I do a little of the withdrawing behavior, but sometimes I snap. Maybe with some people, I find some angle to keep it light, and then withdraw...and might just slowly come to peace with them after we explain ourselves. Sometimes though, calling out a problem head on might be the tempting way to deal with some situations (mostly, if I detect they can't respect another approach).

 

[skylights]

That's a possibility. I think EXFJs tend to be the emotional volcanoes (maybe more of a EXFX thing?) and IXFPs tend to be the royalty of passive-agressiveness (maybe more of an IXFX thing?).

me: passive ))

--> unresolved issue

me: passive-aggressive rolleyes2 OR assertive 1377

---> confrontation

me: emotional volcano ranting

i'm not very good at anger. even when i try to be assertive i usually come off too harsh, which is why i usually try to stay passive, even though i'm really too loud-mouthed for it. and then if i find out that part of the problem is me, i apologize too much, and don't retain much power over the relationship dynamics. it's a problem.

 

[skylights]

That's a possibility. I think EXFJs tend to be the emotional volcanoes (maybe more of a EXFX thing?) and IXFPs tend to be the royalty of passive-agressiveness (maybe more of an IXFX thing?).

me: passive ))

--> unresolved issue

me: passive-aggressive rolleyes2 OR assertive 1377

---> confrontation

me: emotional volcano ranting

i'm not very good at anger. even when i try to be assertive i usually come off too harsh, which is why i usually try to stay passive, even though i'm really too loud-mouthed for it. and then if i find out that part of the problem is me, i apologize too much, and don't retain much power over the relationship dynamics. it's a problem.

the ENFJs i know are tricky because they are the masterminds of holding it in and just avoiding you, and only exploding at you if/when you confront them.

INFPs do seem to be the winnars at p-a.

also ESFJ seems to be the winner at guilt tripping in my life. could just be my life, though.