Seriously, I did not have a clue that this is uncomfortable to some people.
(that is exactly why I asked actually)
Sometimes what you see as regular conversation, others see as intrusive, blunt and/or they don't know how to respond to it. I have a few symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome which can sometimes result in me saying things in a straightforward way, without understanding that other people hear it as bluntness or interpret what I said as me being overbearing or inflexible. That's not my intention at all, but it apparently comes off that way to others. What I've learned to do is watch for is their facial expression. If I notice that their facial expression seems kind of horrified or they're looking uncomfortably awkward while I'm saying something, I'll try to back off. I can't always stop myself (once I get going, I'm all in, as they say), and I don't always pick up on their facial expressions, but I'm trying and getting better the more I practice it.
Anyway we went for a hike almost died....ended up rock climbing up a freakin canyon ridge (on accident) 800 feet up. Fucking crazy shit....it scared the moody awkwardness out of me lol.
Heh. Nothing like a near-death experience to shake you out of your anti-social mood. ...But, on a serious note, I can totally identify with what you're saying. When I'm in an anti-social mood (which is often), I just don't want to be around others and it's a bad idea to put myself in that situation. I'll get snappish and angry; I don't like myself and others don't usually like me when I'm in that state of mind either. Which is why I try to keep to myself when I can tell I'm feeling more anti-social and misanthropic of an afternoon.
Regarding the small talk issue... Ugh. I always feel so awkward doing it and I'm sure I'm terrible at it. I hate the whole social construct of saying "good morning" or "good bye" to people at work, asking how their weekend was, etc. After years of working retail in college, and then as a receptionist for a very small, podunk little newspaper in a small little office where hardly anybody said "good morning," when I got my first 'serious' job as a legal secretary for a large law firm, I had to learn how to do the "good morning," "how was your weekend" small talk on the fly. I was seen as 'weird' and anti-social if I didn't, or if I didn't respond with more than just an awkward smile when someone else said "good morning" to me. With practice, I got a little better at it, but I still hated doing it.
When I started working in education in 2000, I kind of got out of the habit of small talk again. Some teachers can be pretty anti-social with their co-workers, being rather socially awkward people themselves, so I wasn't being accosted on a daily basis with a chorus of "good mornings" when I went to work. That's not exactly true of the office staff, though. Some of the ladies who work in the main office or are special ed aides in some of the classrooms can get absolutely offended if you don't say good morning to them, never stopping to consider that we might have other things on our minds besides making small talk with them.
But, I have to admit, I can see their point of view. In my years working in education, I've had a couple of office staff and one special ed aide approach me privately and tell me how hurt they felt because I didn't say good morning to them, like I was personally ignoring them. Of course that wasn't the case; I just had other things on my mind, had no intention to offend... plus, I just find the whole construct rather awkward and pointless. But to them, it's *very* important, and they don't want to feel ignored. So I had to acknowledge their feelings and work on getting better at my social skills and saying good morning to them, even though it's not a natural thing for me. I still feel hugely awkward doing it, but at least it keeps them happy.
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