Why Do Some People Take Pride in Being a [any negative expletive]?

[Mole]

Why? Because pride cometh before a fall and hubris is always followed by nemesis.

But just listen to them, listen to them laugh, and you will find it is gallows humour.

 

[William K]

To quote Machiavelli on whether it is better to be feared than to be loved

"The answer is that one would like to be both the one and the other; but because it is difficult to combine them, it is far safer to be feared than loved if you cannot be both."

Machiavelli does make a distinction between being feared and being hated, but to many that difference is lost. And the media doesn't help really. Just watch any reality series and who are the ones that get the most camera time?

 

[CzeCze]

I think the Ennegram could help a lot with this. Some people base their identity on "I am powerful." So if you criticize them or you basically challenge them, if you can't hold your own, you are just another 'loser' in their eyes. The more people criticize them, the happier they are because they see more and more 'losers' who are just grumbling about sour grapes. More critics = more power. Or more critics = attention. No such thing as bad attention, look at people like Howard Stern or Tom Green (who has faded into obscurity post Drew Barrymore).

The worst thing for these people would be to either be ignored or worse, mocked by others and seen as an easy target. Some people are also scared and vigilant, better to strike first and be seen as fearsome than to live in open fear of others.

Look at Howard Stern, he is fugly and awkward and looks like a very easy target for ridicule himself as he has always been fugly and awkward but he found a shtick that works (exploit others) so he's gonna stick to it.

 

[Pixelholic]

I dunno if mocking would help, since it would still give them validation about their ego ("They're just jealous.") I had a (former) friend with narcissistic personality disorder and my therapist basically ordered me to sever all contact with him. To say he freaked out about that is an understatement. It's been a couple years since I talked to him and even now I still get this pleading rambly emails from him every now and then.

It could be some kind of primal competitive nature gone wrong or something. I enjoy a good argument and I take pride in what I am actually good at but I've never understood people who have like being known as king douche of the universe.

 

[disregard]

Because confidence facilitates the passing on of genes.

 

[KDude]

Too much confidence though is kind of like "Ringo" in Pulp Fiction. Real confidence is a bit more like Jules, who just wants to eat his pancakes.

 

[Glycerine]

Because confidence facilitates the passing on of genes.

Is that really confidence though? The most confident person I know is far being an asshole.

 

[Reflection]

I'd rather think it's because they aren't confident. It gives them a sense of superiority.

 

[Pixelholic]

I'd rather think it's because they aren't confident. It gives them a sense of superiority.

This. Most assholes and narcissists I've met have severe problems with self-esteem.

 

[disregard]

Is that really confidence though? The most confident person I know is far being an asshole.

I agree with you on the whole cockiness is not confidence thing, so I will rephrase: projecting the image of confidence facilitates the passing on of genes.

 

[Unkindloving]

I refer to myself as an asshole or that nasty "C" word. It's not that i strive to be one, but it's because i recognize my lack of sympathy for certain situations can be abnormal. Also, my thoughts toward humanity aren't exactly filled of niceties. I'm so not politically correct either.

I would rather let others know that i am aware of it and embrace the term than have it be negative to myself when i really don't have a problem with it. However, i don't think people should go out of their way to fit a negative description. Acknowledge it if it is apparent - change it if it is harmful - embrace it if it isn't.

Also, i'm not lacking confidence, nor am i the owner of an abundance of it. Your example in the OP comes across as the problematic sort who has no awareness of the harmful qualities of his own traits and would rather work hard to fit the bill.

 

[Glycerine]

i recognize my lack of sympathy for certain situations can be abnormal. Also, my thoughts toward humanity aren't exactly filled of niceties. I'm so not politically correct either.

I'm a lot the same way. You brought an interesting differentiation and good point.

 

[Mole]

Is that really confidence though? The most confident person I know is far being an asshole.

Confidence tricksters exude confidence. Watch the way astrologers speak, and watch the way the way the speak about MBTI. They speak with immense confidence. And interestingly that they speak with confidence about things we know very little.

And that's the trick, for to speak with confidence engenders trust. And when they have our trust, they can make suggestions that we are likely to follow uncritically.

 

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

I would rather be an asshole than a piece of shit.

 

[Tallulah]

It bugs me when people say stuff like, "Yeah, I'm just really blunt; that's just how I am," or some such statement. Like the rest of the world should just learn to suck it up, while they get to say whatever they want. It's one thing if you have an actual problem figuring out how to interact, or for instance, you try to phrase things diplomatically, but still end up saying things too bluntly. But usually it's more of a "yeah, I can't be bothered to act like a human being, so you should deal if you want to hang out with me." I don't usually remain friends very long with people like that. It's usually a pretty good indicator of narcissism and/or insensitivity.

 

[Lark]

I've got the answer to this one, the world is messed up.

 

[Lark]

It bugs me when people say stuff like, "Yeah, I'm just really blunt; that's just how I am," or some such statement. Like the rest of the world should just learn to suck it up, while they get to say whatever they want. It's one thing if you have an actual problem figuring out how to interact, or for instance, you try to phrase things diplomatically, but still end up saying things too bluntly. But usually it's more of a "yeah, I can't be bothered to act like a human being, so you should deal if you want to hang out with me." I don't usually remain friends very long with people like that. It's usually a pretty good indicator of narcissism and/or insensitivity.

Absolutely true that, I've worked in a variety of organisations where this is the stock and trade of managers, they're generally people who've come in at the bottom rung, been a disaster in any interface with the public and then climbed that ladder, continuing to be a disaster with their employees but so unshakeable are they in their belief that "It's not me, its really you" that they are considered to be the right stuff for management.

I do think its narcissism, its small consolation to know that they're so messed up and dont even realise it that they'll never really be objectively that good interpersonal skills wise because they get rewarded so many other ways.

 

[You]

Well, I think its a self-esteem booster. Everybody has their flaws, so they more than likely want to feel good about those flaws and look at it as something to be proud of. Sort of like how warriors come back from war and show off their battle scars to women.

Plus, apparently, sterotypically, women like dicks. Straight women that is...

 

[William K]

I've got the answer to this one, the world is messed up.

Sadly, I have to agree

 

[Katsuni]

Whot if I said "Yes, I *AM* a bitch! =D "?

I happen to consider it to have a great deal many positive connotations, and very few negative ones. It's insulting that people would say otherwise :O

Or whot about being a bastard? I knew a friend who actually was one... his mother and father weren't married when he was born. If people called him a bastard, he'd be like "Yes... whot's yeur point?"

I think alot of it's point of view in some cases, but other times it's just people who are happy to be jerks because they really are that mean and just don't care.