I should probably make a distinction between a couple things because you're essentially explaining the whole problem.

First what you talk about makes sense. But when this idea becomes a problem is when people start to associate 'constructive emoting' with 'whining'. Suddenly, because of social ineptitude, for whatever reasons, real issues people have become ignored or discredited, and for often resenting human reasons. Or in other cases, people have learned to live with the same issues and think they have no other way to deal with them so they think they are doing a favor to someone by telling them to 'get used to it', when in fact nothing is actually being improved.

I think a good example might be if someone were put in a rain forest and was forced to survive on their own. Everything they do will be for their survival or they die. Sometimes frustration or anger or joy will occur and be felt, this may lead to 'constructive emoting', where the person feels an afterward relief and mental clarity after displaying the intense raw emotion they 'feel inside'. Such a thing is healthy and human and leaves the person's mind free to focus on what needs to be done rather then on 'why they shouldn't feel those emotions'. It'll make sense once you read the rest.

The problem in reality though is that displays of 'constructive emoting' are often suppressed. Most jobs in the world are of a customer service orientation. The customer is $$ and your job is to get that money. By putting out a persona that the customer enjoys you become more likely to get that money, and money is the new way to survive. Thus, suddenly the 'constructive emoting' that the one man used successfully in his rain forest adventure becomes useless in the 'social human rain forest', which sets the new conditions for survival. How well you adapt to this other 'social human rain forest' becomes more about how well you can act 'what people want you to' and suppress 'what you actually feel inside'. Now this leads to some interesting survival ideas.

And what you might have guessed is that a person who can act 'what people want them to act' and act out 'what they feel inside' is going to adapt to this world the best. But what about the person that has to suppress what they actually 'feel inside'? This person is going to find that if they are having trouble reconciling the two that they will have a harder time getting along with people, holding jobs for long periods, and 'feeling good about themselves'. For whatever reasons, this person's original 'constructive emoting' was deemed unworthy of acceptance and adjustment by society at large. This can lead to an internal struggle in this person that makes them look whiny, weak, and helpless, and this just keeps them in a catch-22 operand um where others think they are just being whiny, inappropriate, and stupid. And these people are in no position to fight back against anything, nor are they likely to have people around them to confide in, and if they manage to get through it all, unless enlightened to the fact that their feelings are 'valid' in this case, will believe the best thing is to 'toughen up', be cold, and that they are just a weak person, and they will propagate these foolish ideas to their children. It's sickening.

In general, what I'm getting at is the sad truth that some people are not suited well for most jobs, and have no choice but to subject themselves to being mistreated for a certain amount of their life in the hopes that they will gain enough power, respect, influence, education to obtain a job that suits their internal and external needs, and not just their external needs - because face it, we are not robots, we all have emotions and tending to them and utilizing them are important to live a most constructive life. Isn't this what personality theory is really all about? Because to deny this and hand someone a pill or tell them to toughen up is not addressing the actual 'human' problem. The saddest thing someone can do is spend an entire life already dead because they aren't either smart enough or knowledgeable enough to know there is nothing wrong with them... This is what I was trying to get at in the OP. And this is what has shocked me as of late in how people relate to one another. I wish I was smarter and realized this a lot sooner. We have great technology, but we are indeed still animals.