why the f$%^ am I so angry?!

[miss fortune]

I have a nice home, a wonderful man, a loving family and my job plans are even starting to pan out... and yet somewhere in the back of my mind, and in my muscles, I feel an overwhelming need to punch something

I don't get it... it's like underneath the surface I'm amazingly angry about something... and I can't even figure out what! I've always been known for having a flash temper in my family and by my friends- I'm quick to set off and I get over the actual being angry quite quickly as well... but for some reason, for just about as long as I can remember, there's been some sense of being angry sitting somewhere farther back in my mind

I KNOW it's not right- I have nothing to be mad about that consistently... and to express it towards someone or something undeserving is against my beleifs in decency and politeness... so it just sits there and waits and occasionally seeps out a bit towards those who are deemed deserving of some snark

I've spent years in therapy, I used to box, I get plenty of exercize and it won't leave... I don't know why

why the fuck can't I just be normal? I can't even think of a reason for this! Anyone else identify... or better yet- does anyone have a solution that works?

 

[Arclight]

You are normal.. people without problems are the ones you need to worry about.

Get a crap job with hours all over the place.. then you will be too tired to be angry.. works for me.

 

[miss fortune]

that just tends to give me a REASON to be angry then!

 

[Atomic Fiend]

You are normal.. people without problems are the ones you need to worry about.

Christopher Titus ladies and gentlemen!

[YOUTUBE="f17rgcjFmWU"]Normal?[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Amargith]

Learn to disable your anger

 

[miss fortune]

how?

 

[Amargith]

how?

It's easier said than done...and it'll take time..and a lot of effort. But it is possible to learn how to disable an emotion, especially a 'chronic' one.

It however requires you to flex the thing that's probably alien to you...Fi. Self-reflection on why it is that you are in fact angry at the world/life/whatever it is you're angry at, is a must. And no, there are no easy answers. But once you find the core of that..that's step one.

Step two would involve analyzing why it is that that thing pisses you off so. Creating understanding for the person you are, and the thing that so grates you.

Step three is to delevop a new way of looking at that situation, one that doesn't call for anger, but for understanding. One that gives you the tools to deal with this situation in a more rational way, in a way that doesn't drain your energy by causing anger (coz make no mistake, anger is a frigging energy vampire).

Step four is implementing it. And don't get me wrong, you'll, especially at first, still get angry. But you'll learn, by understanding where it comes from, how to disable it, and counter it with the new mental attitude you're trying to create towards it as you notice you're getting angry. Awareness is key though, as is the will to change and look at life in a less confrontational way.


As I said..easier said than done. But it is possible. I did it with envy, anger and infatuation. Still working on fear though. That's my Everest.

 

[miss fortune]

yeah... I've tried to figure it out... my shrink even tried to figure it out... I don't have a clue why it's there even

*sigh* and I TRY to develop Fi... it's not an easy task for me

 

[Amargith]

yeah... I've tried to figure it out... my shrink even tried to figure it out... I don't have a clue why it's there even

*sigh* and I TRY to develop Fi... it's not an easy task for me

I'm no shrink, but imo all you need really is a lot of determination and someone you trust and can use as a sounding board

 

[Vasilisa]

Whatever, Do you have a creative outlet? Do you think perhaps creative energy in you is blocked and is festering? You are sure it isn't depression (doesn't require a reason) right? For some people depression expresses itself as hostility and annoyance with everything.

I want you to feel at peace, Whatev.

 

[miss fortune]

my best friend and I always use each other as sounding boards for things... we talk about once a week... I help her lighten up and she helps me get grounded

and yeah... I know that it's not depression or a mixed state (and unfortunatly not a fun state of hypomania! )... and I cook for a creative outlet and for the practical purposes of eating as well! But this has been lurking for a long time... since I was in the single digits age wise... I'm starting to think it's just some horrible personality flaw

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

Scream into a pillow. That helps.... or go out for a LONG walk, what ever is hiding deep inside will surface, and you will be aware of what is silently eating away and causing unconscious anger.


or.. it's just that time of the month

///

EDIT:I know how you feel whatever, I've gone through the same thing, and sometimes it comes back. The only thing I noticed helps is what I suggested about going out for a walk, OR, writing in a book. I'm no writer, but if you just start writing, it will slowly come out from you, and you will start writing things you didn't even know were inside of you.... Being aware of the problem will help you a great deal in over coming it : )

 

[Vasilisa]

Do you think it could be a manifestation of feeling bored or boxed in? Do you need some kind of excitement or adrenaline adventure? Some people need that in their lives. I don't mean the type who do foolhardy things, but the type who just have that taste for danger. Skydiving? Something like that?

 

[miss fortune]

I've had writers block for about 6 years now, broke my kneecap and can't go rock climbing anymore and gave up my job/hobby as a dominatrix because I found a nice man and want to behave for him.....

 

[Vasilisa]

Do you think if you weren't closed off in those ways then you would also not be feeling the ragey feelings? If so, then you can draw a correlation and conclude that it is not due to a defective personality, right?

 

[miss fortune]

oh... it's been lurking there all along... I occasionally fear that I just have a strong evil side that I prefer not to express because I LIKE people

 

[Vasilisa]

Well, I hope you find some solace. And if it makes you feel less sinister I want you to know that I relate to what you said above. You are not alone in that way.

Mark Twain saw it, too:
"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."

(if they can help it, right, Whatev? )

 

[miss fortune]

I love Mark Twain quotes!

yeah... I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm Dr Jeckyll

 

[Rainne]

yet somewhere in the back of my mind, and in my muscles, I feel an overwhelming need to punch something

have you tried a punching bag?

 

[Domino]

A hobby or something that physically exhausts you like running or swimming.

I wish I had better advice because this is what *I* do and it works MOST of the time.