Being aware of issues and dealing with them

[Phantonym]

I heard this line (yes, of course on TV, that's where all the good thoughts come from, obviously ):

"Being aware of your issues and getting over your issues are completely different things"

Well, I agree with this. However, the trouble I see is that all this awareness and the realization of the need to start dealing with issues seems to create a limbo of some sort where things are standing still. I would like to believe that it's only temporary, a period of settling and coming up with a "plan" to start dealing with issues, but what if this kind of state persists for a long time?

Does this sound familiar to anybody? What do you think about this? What to do in such a case? Any ideas or thoughts would be welcome.

 

[Lux]

The limbo is temporary. It just takes initiative to rip yourself out of the state of inertia. Which is the hardest part. The momentum needed for that step can be great, but many times (not always), after that step you start to feel better, which makes the next step easier. And so on. There will usually (maybe always) be steps taken back again, but each time the burst, or the will, gets easier, because you have done it before. I think that instead of being comfortable in the limbo state, one can learn to be comfortable in active state as well, you just have to experience it enough to become comfortable with it too.

 

[Snow Turtle]

It just takes initiative to rip yourself out of the state of inertia. Which is the hardest part. The momentum needed for that step can be great.

This.

At the same time, there's usually alot more pressure to deal with the problem when you know what you are meant to do. In that regard, being stuck in limbo-land while knowing the solutions generates alot more stress than being in limbo-land while searching for solutions.

 

[Rainne]

Indeed it is. Knowing you have a problem is important, but so is fixing it. Dwelling on a problem for too long will consume and paralyze you.

Identify problem -> Come up w/ a plan/solution to fix it -> Action (probably the hardest part) -> Review

 

[Phantonym]

Thanks for the responses.

Identify problem -> Come up w/ a plan/solution to fix it -> Action (probably the hardest part) -> Review

Alright, I can agree with this. However, it's the review part that might start causing problems. Even when the expectations are kept low, the results of the actions might not be that encouraging to keep going forward. And here it is again, the limbo, that pervasive state of dissatisfaction.

I agree with Lux that it is about taking steps, forward and sometimes backward and in theory it is supposed to get better as you become even more aware of the things that need work, the experience matters.

But does it really work in reality? There's always something that makes you go forward and then knocks you back. I don't really see that as any kind of progress because that means you're always going to be in the limbo in the end.

Are people even supposed to get out of it? What is the point?

 

[gromit]

For me a lot of the times identifying the issue and admitting to myself that it's an issue is the most difficult part.

 

[Halla74]

I resolve my issues in real time as I become aware that they are impeding my progress toward a desired goal, objective, or state of being.

I rarely sit and try to ID issues I might have, and resolve them before they become a problem for an unknown future event. That just seems like an awful lot of work, and very difficult to do with any accuracy.

 

[Randomnity]

Identifying issues is super easy, often very obvious. Dealing with them is much harder, more time-consuming, and more emotionally difficult, and there's a limit to how much can be "fixed" at a time.

I have some "issues" that would take me a lot of energy to fix so I don't really focus on them much. Easier to work around them, though in the long run less effective of course. And I'm skeptical too whether I could manage to really "fix" these things anyway. Maybe someday.

(ex. social anxiety, phone anxiety, procrastination, disorganization...etc)

 

[gromit]

Alright, I can agree with this. However, it's the review part that might start causing problems. Even when the expectations are kept low, the results of the actions might not be that encouraging to keep going forward. And here it is again, the limbo, that pervasive state of dissatisfaction.

I don't know if my approach is really that useful to you or not, but once I'm aware of an issue (and have accepted it as an issue), then I sort of just throw myself at the issue without a huge plan really, just emotionally and mentally immerse myself in it and then keep my eyes scanning the environment for ideas or activities or whatever that could be helpful... usually things or experiences seem to pop up in weird places

Maybe if you think of it less about the results and more about a process of learning, that even changing the way you think about it or small victories can add to your purposes. Like untying a knot rather or assembling a really complicated puzzle rather than than "fixing" yourself. Just adding more pieces, or just unraveling a little bit of the knot.

Then I will get tired or will see a new issue/internal project and move on to tackle that. I like to think that it's like a spiral, each time I revisit, it's like it's new again, because my insight and life experiences have advanced me or given me new perspective such that I can tackle it from a different angle (but I like to think I have retained at least some of the effort from the previous time around).

Tell me if any of that makes ANY sense...

 

[alcea rosea]

I heard this line (yes, of course on TV, that's where all the good thoughts come from, obviously ):

"Being aware of your issues and getting over your issues are completely different things"

Well, I agree with this. However, the trouble I see is that all this awareness and the realization of the need to start dealing with issues seems to create a limbo of some sort where things are standing still. I would like to believe that it's only temporary, a period of settling and coming up with a "plan" to start dealing with issues, but what if this kind of state persists for a long time?

Does this sound familiar to anybody? What do you think about this? What to do in such a case? Any ideas or thoughts would be welcome.

I agree with the bolded statement. Being aware is easier, I would think, than getting over. But for some people (my guess: primary Se), action (=getting over) is easier than being aware. hmmmm. if that makes any sense....

 

[Mole]

You got issues? You got issues kid?

Wadaya got? Ya got an Electra issue? Ya got an Oedipus issue?

Let's take 'em out into the back alley and kick 'em around a bit.

It's gotta be the back alley, 'cause they won't let us talk about 'em up front.

Yeah, Electra and Oedipus are issues that dare not say their names.

They started off not being polite - I mean it is just not polite talking about screwing your Mum and topping your Dad. But both Electra and Oedipus finished up being not PC, not politically correct.

Yet these are issues we can't face on our own - that we don't want to face on our own. And being unable to face them, they colour everything we do and say. We are like a colouring book, painted in glowing colours by Electra and Oedipus.

Yet they embarrass us, so we deny them - we deny them to their faces - so that we will seem quite normal.

And we laugh, we laugh at them because laughter gives us deniability. We are of course guilty in our desires, and it is our desires we deny.

And our desires drive us around like a carriage and pair while we just sit there, eyes agog, as the world passes us by.