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Tips on accepting yourself/Gaining confidence?

Ming

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
483
MBTI Type
ENFP
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2w3
:yes: Hey; I'm here to just talking about this.

Does anybody have any tips on accepting/liking yourself? I sometimes have those issues, but then again I'm a teenager :cheese:!

'Cause currently I have issues with my appearance :cry: (I don't want to seem like a sad-case, but I think I am. I keep downgrading myself, and I'm ugly, I can tell you that :D; and don't tell me any of that 'I'm sure you ain't!). I'm trying to be my usual self, but my friends aren't here to distract me. All studying...

It was just that one day a girl came up to me and said I was ugly. And looked weird. I didn't know her, but it really did cut me deep. I'm a sensitive person you know, even if I'm always smiling and optimistic D:!

Anyways enough whining and attention getting. I'm trying to conduct some sort of essay/conclusion on this topic. Contributions please? I've posted this on other forums as well, so I just wanted to hear your thoughts.

Okay here comes the general guideline!

1) What do you think are your strengths/weaknesses

2) Was there anyone there who were supportive? Or did you do it alone?

3) Did the people around you affect your views? Or was it more you affected it yourself?

4)How did you improve on(or deprive of)these thoughts/ideas? Was there some special 'formula' involved?

5)So in conclusion, what are the 'tips'?

6)Other suggestions/ideas/values/morals/ethics/blah you want to add.

7)I'm on a J mode, so give a bibliography! :devil:

Thoughts?
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
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3h50
Cognitive-behavioral therapy. Seriously, it helps a ton.
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
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What is that? :shock:

It's a form of talk therapy where you dig into your emotional states, and your therapist gives you alternative ways of looking at the things that make you feel bad about yourself that aren't really that bad. Basically, it convinces you to not be so hard on yourself.
 

gromit

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Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
Let's see... I struggled a lot with confidence for a long time, and a lot of people would always point out good aspects of my personality or different things that I excelled at. It didn't matter. I would feel good for maybe 15 minutes, but then it would just sort of melt away. It took years and years for me to be able to start believing people. But I think it has to come from inside.

One thing that I've found helps me with appearance is exercising... it helps me to feel like my body is for more than just attractiveness. It can do things. Really amazing things! It is a great mood-booster in general, actually, because of the endorphins that your body releases as you work out.

Something I've thought about trying is compiling a list of positive characteristics (maybe from other people or ones I've generated). I can't remember if I've done it before or not, but it can't hurt.

I guess my last advice is patience. It is (or at least was, for me) a long, slow process.

Hang in there, little buddy. :heart: :wubbie: :hug:
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
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Messages
7,914
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Just learn how to not give a fuck.

I'd give you more advice.... but I don't give a fuck.
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
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Don't think that works for ESFPs. Great for us, but for them...not so much.

All ExxPs have the not-give-a-fuck capacity in them though.... maybe it would work for a bitter ESFP, but I've never seen one.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
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Murder a random person at least once a month. Drink their blood. Eat their brains.
 

gromit

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All ExxPs have the not-give-a-fuck capacity in them though.... maybe it would work for a bitter ESFP, but I've never seen one.

Actually, yes. This is something I've had to develop, in parallel with confidence.
 

Ming

New member
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Apr 7, 2010
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ENFP
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Just learn how to not give a fuck.

I'd give you more advice.... but I don't give a fuck.
It's not easy for the ESFPs I tell ya! We need the attention and love :hug:

:D You want some? (I know you secretly want to, all INFP have there ESTJ sides..)
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
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The downside to the not-give-a-fuck approach is that if following it gets you anything... you won't give a fuck.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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Drugs, and alcohol

if you're under 18: praying to the good lord and studying hard :laugh:
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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Prraaaiisee the lorrrddd

osteen.jpg
 

INTP

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Murder a random person at least once a month. Drink their blood. Eat their brains.

But you need to decide that you well keep the murders 1 per month(preferably 1 per 2 months), or you will start to do it too often and get caught too easily.
 

Chaolioe

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1) What do you think are your strengths/weaknesses- My strengths are who I am, my weaknesses, who I think I am and when I doubt myself

2) Was there anyone there who were supportive? Or did you do it alone?-- At different times, I had different people. I grew up in what other people consider an abusive situation. People call my mom a whore, and say that she hit me too often to be considered a good parent-- but I don't believe that and I love her. I know, though, that my life showed me that love can be cruel, and even it isn't love leaving you, love has a larger capacity than anything to hurt you. Never open your heart too easily, but please, please never close it off too much. I don't believe in the don't give a fuck approach-- just don't give too much of a fuck. Remember always that people will be unkind, but people who don't appreciate you for who you are aren't worth your worry.

3) Did the people around you affect your views? Or was it more you affected it yourself?--
Both. I had my views, people told me they were wrong or silly, and that was discouraging, but I still honestly believed in them. It's important to trust who you are and not let other people trample on that. What's important is that no one will ever know you as well as you know you. You need to know that you are a beautiful person inside and out before you can convince anyone of it. Some people will know, and that will always help, but as you grow and their support makes you stronger, the amount of people who try to bring you down will decrease. If they try to change you in any way, it can often mean that they are not secure in their own views and want to convince you so that they can be reassured. (This excludes unhealthy people who use Fe or Te poorly to try and ram their feelings and thoughts down your throat. Note I say unhealthy-- normally I enjoy the healthy, well used forms of both.)

4)How did you improve on(or deprive of)these thoughts/ideas? Was there some special 'formula' involved?--
I found an outlet. I adore music, writing, and art. Doing these things can both release bad thoughts/feelings/ideas and help good ones flourish.

5)So in conclusion, what are the 'tips'?--
It's cliche but believe in yourself and be yourself. No one can ever tell you you go about being yourself wrong, so find yourself and be it. You'll feel great.

6)Other suggestions/ideas/values/morals/ethics/blah you want to add.--
Just be a good person- your pleasure should never be derived from other people's pain.

7)I'm on a J mode, so give a bibliography!--
I hope this sufficed ^.^
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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don't listen to the voices!
THEY LIE!
 

disregard

mrs
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I would say standing up for what you believe in is a great way to gain self-respect. People will fuss and fight, not have your back, and run for cover under what is safe and familiar, but they come around once you're on top of your game. That is where you gain the confidence to do it again and again. You learn how things work. You learn that it is not going to kill you to lose the support of the lemmings, because the respect of one person with heart and integrity is incomparable.
 
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