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Eliminate one fear

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
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fear... such a loaded question, I live my whole life in fear so much fear but if I could eliminate one, just one maybe it would be the fear of succeeding..... odd I know....
 
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You fear approaching them confidently? :)

What do you think is at the bottom of that fear?

I just reread what I wrote and I think it's unclear. Fear prevents me from approaching women confidently. I don't know what's at the bottom of it, I've been severely shy since I was a toddler.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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I just reread what I wrote and I think it's unclear. Fear prevents me from approaching women confidently. I don't know what's at the bottom of it, I've been severely shy since I was a toddler.

Yeah, I was just teasing. I've been shy for years too. I think it's a fear of rejection or of the pain and loss of ego that accompanies that rejection.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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:shock: you're shy?

When I'm try too hard to manage my impression, I kinda cave in. It happens during interviews and on dates, and with old friends who I try too desperately to connect with. My mind goes nuts trying to solve/analyze/escape the self-consciousness and I have no more time to be myself freely.
 

Lethe

Obsession.
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Fear of having no time to spare for my own interests & hobbies; of being overwhelmed with uninteresting work.

It took me four years to figure out that I had this fear. :mellow:

If I could conquer this one, it would make the dealings with my ADD much easier.
 

Mempy

Mamma said knock you out
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When I'm try too hard to manage my impression, I kinda cave in. It happens during interviews and on dates, and with old friends who I try too desperately to connect with. My mind goes nuts trying to solve/analyze/escape the self-consciousness and I have no more time to be myself freely.

Nice post. I'm the same way! When I'm self-conscious, it's very hard to be spontaneous or be myself. I flounder in many of the same situations you described.

I agree that fear of fear itself is probably my undoing. I psych myself out. I say, "I don't want that fear!" or I'm ashamed that I can't live up to the person I most want to be.
 

arcticangel02

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I would get rid of my fear of death. Sometimes it scares me soo bad. :(
 

substitute

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I think most of my fears are pretty rational and I don't think any good purpose could be served by removing them. I'd like to master them, sure, but not remove them; they're for a reason.

I guess the only irrational fear I have is claustrophobia, I have that pretty bad, and I'd like that one gone. I've battled with it as long as I can remember, from my childhood, and don't seem to really have gotten anywhere - in fact it's kinda got worse. People seem to have so little sympathy for it... when you're with a bunch of boy scouts who want to go caving, there's not usually much sympathy for someone who says they don't want to help out because being in the caves makes them feel like they're going to explode from panic or pass out from hyperventilation. Friends who want to take elevators also don't tend to understand why I'd REALLY rather take the stairs.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
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When I'm try too hard to manage my impression, I kinda cave in. It happens during interviews and on dates, and with old friends who I try too desperately to connect with. My mind goes nuts trying to solve/analyze/escape the self-consciousness and I have no more time to be myself freely.

I guess I become self-conscious only when folks start pointing out things, repeatedly. Then I think about what they said, does it make sense. Drop my feelings about it and see how I look if I were staring at a stranger with my face and name. Distancing helps.

If the critique makes sense, I take the feedback. If it does not fit into my life, I don't, afterall, they cannot live for me. But I remember what set of behaviour they like to see, and if I have to work with them next time, I behave accordingly. But I'm wary of overly critical people - sometimes they are brutally honest because they enjoy the brutality vs the honesty.

Edit: Sub yea, I don't like tight spaces too. In aircrafts I always try get the aisle seat by leaning over and whispering conspiratorially to the counter staff that "I have bladder incontinence, I have to go every half hour, and I really don't want to disturb other passengers" *lol*. It works most times.

Question, if you could trade your fear for another, which would that be, and why.
 

lecky

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I would get rid of my fear of death. Sometimes it scares me soo bad. :(

Interesting! One of my best friends is an ENFP and her fear of death consumes her sometimes. It seems like every two months or so I will get the phone call where we will discuss what we think will happen when we die. I imagine everyone has a natural fear of death, but my friend takes it to a whole different level. She gets frustrated when I tell her that I don't know what will happen, she wants a definite answer.
 
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miss fortune

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Interesting fear. Any ideas where it's from? (If you care to share...)

no clue- maybe it was functional since I was a farmer's kid and it got me out of some work- I seriously panic if I come into contact with plants with large leaves though :cry:
 

The Ü™

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I don't have to name one. I can name as many as I want. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

F.E.A.R.S.
  • Agoraphobia: fear of being in public
  • Genophobia: fear of sex
  • Gynophobia: fear of women
  • Gymnophobia: fear of nudity
  • Gerantophobia: fear of old people
  • Atychiphobia: fear of failure
  • Sociophobia: fear of people
  • Xenophobia: fear of strangers
  • Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: fear of long words

I want these phobias destroyed.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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If a genie granted you one wish that you could use to eliminate one fear, which fear would you choose? Why did you choose that fear? What other fears were you considering? Walk me through your thought process, please. None of the "I like myself just the way I am" evasion. ;)

(crossposted at INTPc)


To no longer be afraid of physical torture. Maybe if I wasn't in dread of it, it wouldn't have such a hold on me. Screw it. Never mind. I'll pick something tame... ok. I hate elevators. There's nothing natural about being sealed in a metal box with a bunch of strangers and sent up or down a shaft. I hate spiders too.
 

INTJMom

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My biggest fear is of being poor in my old age.

I also fear being harshly judged by people.
 

Varelse

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Interesting! One of my best friends is an ENFP and her fear of death consumes her sometimes. It seems like every two months or so I will get the phone call where we will discuss what we think will happen when we die. I imagine everyone has a natural fear of death, but my friend takes it to a whole different level. She gets frustrated when I tell her that I don't know what will happen, she wants a definite answer.
Odd.

Sometimes it scares me that I don't fear death. :huh:
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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If a genie granted you one wish that you could use to eliminate one fear, which fear would you choose? Why did you choose that fear? What other fears were you considering? Walk me through your thought process, please. None of the "I like myself just the way I am" evasion. ;)

(crossposted at INTPc)
Fear of myself.

Most of my fears (of which there are many) have some connection to a limited ability to trust myself. There has not been a time in my life that I can remember in which I wasn't grappling with a particular fear. I've learned to overcome them, but can only do it one at a time. Interestingly enough coming face to face with myself is my next natural step. I need to be alone with myself to make sure I am past betraying myself as I once did.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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Consolidated replies

I guess the only irrational fear I have is claustrophobia, I have that pretty bad, and I'd like that one gone.

I've noticed that being in enclosed places depresses me slightly. When I walk outside, my mood and outlook noticeably improves and I feel a sense of peace. I think it's a mild form of claustrophobia, or rather, that claustrophobia is an extreme form of the discomfort most people feel in being in such an unnaturally closed off place. A building is an elaborate cage, and who the fuck wants to be caged?

I guess I become self-conscious only when folks start pointing out things, repeatedly. Then I think about what they said, does it make sense. Drop my feelings about it and see how I look if I were staring at a stranger with my face and name. Distancing helps.

I get this too. My mom likes to point out little flaws in the way I look. It opens the floodgates of self-consciousness, whether that's rational or not. I've had to set some serious boundaries that she usually crosses anyway. It helps me to reflect on the bigger picture, her being a mother trying to enhance the life of her offspring due to genetic programming and years of evolution. I did this yesterday and I was relieved, although that technique works for almost all uncomfortable feelings if you can find the connection.

If the critique makes sense, I take the feedback. If it does not fit into my life, I don't, afterall, they cannot live for me. But I remember what set of behaviour they like to see, and if I have to work with them next time, I behave accordingly. But I'm wary of overly critical people - sometimes they are brutally honest because they enjoy the brutality vs the honesty.

Definitely. My mom (therapist) has said over and over that bluntness can be a form of sadism.

Question, if you could trade your fear for another, which would that be, and why.

Fear of social rejection (dropped) for a fear of... hmmm... what kinda fear would I like to add to my impressive repertoire... lol... how about a fear of bananas?

no clue- maybe it was functional since I was a farmer's kid and it got me out of some work- I seriously panic if I come into contact with plants with large leaves though :cry:

Maybe it's a form of claustrophobia.

To no longer be afraid of physical torture. Maybe if I wasn't in dread of it, it wouldn't have such a hold on me. Screw it. Never mind. I'll pick something tame... ok. I hate elevators. There's nothing natural about being sealed in a metal box with a bunch of strangers and sent up or down a shaft. I hate spiders too.

I can see your thought process! :ninja: Thanks, that was cool... and admirable.
 
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