ThatsWhatHeSaid
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 11, 2007
- Messages
- 7,263
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
Yes, trademarked!
Too serious? I have a cousin (and now a friend/girl I'm seeing) who I consider too serious. Both identify with being J, which makes sense. I'm noticed that they take their successes and failures very seriously. They're very serious about work and about being slighted by others, however slightly. My cousin especially (INFJ) is very serious about her relationships and about her reputation. I think the reason why serious people are serious is partly learned, and party because they need to maintain control by monitoring themselves to avoid being hurt, rejected, or embarrassed by the judgments/evaluations of others (family, friends, cohorts, lovuhs). It sucks because these people lose their spontaneity and joie de vivre in the process which makes life beautiful and satisfying. Enter Silly Therapy (tm!).
The concept behind Silly Therapy (tm). Silly Therapy (tm) is a simple technique for learning how to give up control and break free of burdensome self-monitoring. All you have to do is act like a total ass and by really fucking silly. Silliness and seriousness are diametrically opposed, and being silly eats away at the core of seriousness which, in the end, is attachment.
But my serious friends are silly, Mr. Unlicensed Psychologist! This is a common objection to which I am forced to distinguish between 2 types of silly: controlled silly and care-free silly. Controlled silly is intellectual in nature and has boundaries and restrictions. It's calculated silliness, which is the opposite of being silly, which is free of thought and calculation. Then there's care-free silliness, where you simply let yourself be silly without planning and without caring about how you're perceived.
The strategy here is to slowly incorporate (I like to frequently split infinitives, sorry) silliness into your life, starting with the most safe environment and transitioning into a more precarious environment.
Step 1 is to get silly in private. Walk around your apartment/house/castle and just be totally retarded. Sing an opera song. Do some voice impersonations. Talk to your self. As I advised a female friend yesterday, jump on the bed and slap your titties around. Can't believe I typed that. (lmao) I can't believe I said it yesterday, either. The more absurd the better. Hope that doesn't offend anyone (in which case, I'll just criticize you for being too serious, anyway).
Step 2 is to bring some silliness into your family and close friendships. Maybe create some terribly annoying laugh (worse than the one you already have). Start doing sound effects in their presence. Challenge family members to duels with carrot sticks and plates as shields. Pretend you're in a rap video. Ride an imaginary horse around the house and occasionally pet it and water it.
Step 3 is bringing silliness and light-heartedness into the most serious areas of your life. Perhaps it's your career, your parents, or your kids. Wink more often. Wink when it's inappropriate. Start making stupid bets about things. I've found that this takes a bit of courage, because often the other person is serious themselves, but silliness is highly contagious. It shouldn't be looked at as a chore, but something fun.
Thoughts? Pitfalls?
What do you do when you're being silly? Any ideas you'll like to add that I can steal and incorporate into Silly Therapy (tm) and not give you credit for?
Too serious? I have a cousin (and now a friend/girl I'm seeing) who I consider too serious. Both identify with being J, which makes sense. I'm noticed that they take their successes and failures very seriously. They're very serious about work and about being slighted by others, however slightly. My cousin especially (INFJ) is very serious about her relationships and about her reputation. I think the reason why serious people are serious is partly learned, and party because they need to maintain control by monitoring themselves to avoid being hurt, rejected, or embarrassed by the judgments/evaluations of others (family, friends, cohorts, lovuhs). It sucks because these people lose their spontaneity and joie de vivre in the process which makes life beautiful and satisfying. Enter Silly Therapy (tm!).
The concept behind Silly Therapy (tm). Silly Therapy (tm) is a simple technique for learning how to give up control and break free of burdensome self-monitoring. All you have to do is act like a total ass and by really fucking silly. Silliness and seriousness are diametrically opposed, and being silly eats away at the core of seriousness which, in the end, is attachment.
But my serious friends are silly, Mr. Unlicensed Psychologist! This is a common objection to which I am forced to distinguish between 2 types of silly: controlled silly and care-free silly. Controlled silly is intellectual in nature and has boundaries and restrictions. It's calculated silliness, which is the opposite of being silly, which is free of thought and calculation. Then there's care-free silliness, where you simply let yourself be silly without planning and without caring about how you're perceived.
The strategy here is to slowly incorporate (I like to frequently split infinitives, sorry) silliness into your life, starting with the most safe environment and transitioning into a more precarious environment.
Step 1 is to get silly in private. Walk around your apartment/house/castle and just be totally retarded. Sing an opera song. Do some voice impersonations. Talk to your self. As I advised a female friend yesterday, jump on the bed and slap your titties around. Can't believe I typed that. (lmao) I can't believe I said it yesterday, either. The more absurd the better. Hope that doesn't offend anyone (in which case, I'll just criticize you for being too serious, anyway).
Step 2 is to bring some silliness into your family and close friendships. Maybe create some terribly annoying laugh (worse than the one you already have). Start doing sound effects in their presence. Challenge family members to duels with carrot sticks and plates as shields. Pretend you're in a rap video. Ride an imaginary horse around the house and occasionally pet it and water it.
Step 3 is bringing silliness and light-heartedness into the most serious areas of your life. Perhaps it's your career, your parents, or your kids. Wink more often. Wink when it's inappropriate. Start making stupid bets about things. I've found that this takes a bit of courage, because often the other person is serious themselves, but silliness is highly contagious. It shouldn't be looked at as a chore, but something fun.
Thoughts? Pitfalls?
What do you do when you're being silly? Any ideas you'll like to add that I can steal and incorporate into Silly Therapy (tm) and not give you credit for?
.
Depending how serious the others were, I'd think you were lucky not to be tossed into the fire, pink. 
