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Eye contact

Lacey

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
392
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Eye contact makes me uncomfortable most of the time, and it exhausts me. But I do it when I have to, lest I be shunned.

I also want to throw out there, that eye contact differs across cultures. It's a relief.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
i can't make eye contact with people when i do i know immediately they're not comfortable so i've developed a bit of an obsession with observing how other people do it so normally.

Try looking into them. It's okay if people get uncomfortable.
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
It's rare for me to get uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes while talking. I don't back down usually.
Heck, when/if I catch a guy looking at me, I'll turn around and look into his eyes. I like it when they keep the gaze going. :devil:
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
I'm an eye contact person, for the most part. I generally get annoyed when I'm talking to someone and they're looking all around the place. Eye contact, for me, is an indication that someone is paying attention.

On the other hand, too much eye contact of the non-lusty variety honestly disturbs me. Some people have a very intense stare that literally makes me squint and fidget around. Hmm...
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I like to make eye contact at certain points in the conversation, not the whole time. It's rude to hold eye contact in Japan, but I read somewhere that Japanese tend to look at the eyes and face more than westerners overall. To check how the message is being taken.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
I like to make eye contact at certain points in the conversation, not the whole time. It's rude to hold eye contact in Japan, but I read somewhere that Japanese tend to look at the eyes and face more than westerners overall. To check how the message is being taken.

Too much eye contact actually promotes dishonesty, I think.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
One reason too much eye contact is rude in Japan is that it implies you don't trust the person.
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
10
weegee.gif


I got eyes that will gaze into your mind and rip out yer soul.

maybe.
 

rainoneventide

New member
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
364
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
There's a line between eye contact and staring... if someone isn't making eye contact with me while I'm speaking, I feel as if I'm boring them and they're not really paying attention. But if they're staring without glancing away once in a while, I'll start to feel uncomfortable.
I like when people give me eye contact while they're speaking, too. They're making a conscious effort to include you, and it's nice.
 

Little_Sticks

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
1,358
Thinking about eye contact makes me want to sigh. If I look at someone in the eyes I tend to space out and stare at there eyes, but if I engage there words in a more thoughtful manner I end up not looking at them much. Then there is also the fact that when someone looks away I tend to look at them and when they look at me I have an instinct to want to look away. Sometimes I will just walk around staring at people though anyway and I have noticed people read the aggressive instinct of it and will often not approach me; I tend to do this when I know an extroverted type is going to ask me to do something and they will, more often than not, not approach me. It's quite effective, but I'm probably coming off as a bit angry and scary at the same time even though it is just an act.

When people make eye contact and communicate, do they usually try to read the other person to figure out what to say and how to act and show expressions?
 

Quiet

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2010
Messages
282
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5
It's understandable that some feel distrust with a lack of eye contact. Ironically, I have to really trust in order to make eye contact. I guess eyes share a lot of information, and I like to remain a private person when I am doing the talking and while still being polite. I'll look into other people's eyes while I'm processing what they're saying, but have realized that they stop and look at me act all uncomfortable. hmmmmm
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
The only times I have problems maintaining more or less direct eye contact are when I'm deep into an explanation (and my mind has checked out of the physical world), when I'm trying to listen closely (and my mind has checked out of the physical world), or when the other person makes me feel embarrassed (for myself or for them.)
 

Windigo

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
446
Lol, to be clear, I'm not going around just staring down people. But, when I do make eye contact, I tend to hold the contact for a longer time than many.

I probably do the same thing, although I never thought about it. I do know an ISFJ who NEVER looks you in the eye because she's uncomfortable. I find myself fighting the urge to get down on one knee and look into her eyes as one does a small child. I always wonder what she's hiding from me.

Conversely, I have another friend (quite possibly an ESFJ?) who always stares at my forehead. I find myself wondering what she's thinking about or running my hand through my hair to find out if there's something in it while we talk.

I find both practices somewhat unnerving and uncomfortable. And tend to view the speakers as unconfident. Although I like both women, I noticed I tend to subconciously view them as subordinates because of their actions. Even though both have served in positions above me at times.

Most men however seem to look me directly in the eye and it has never seemed intimidating.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
I make eye contact because if someone is speaking to me, I'm sure they'd like to know I'm actually listening. If I get any kind of "look me over" up and down thing, we IMMEDIATELY have a problem. Male or female, I'll get rather hostile. I don't advise the stare down either.
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,053
MBTI Type
E.T.
Enneagram
7w8
I always make a lot of eyecontact when I'm talking to someone, except when I'm talking to someone I don't take seriously, but I behave differently towards them anyways. I hate it when other people don't make eyecontact during a conversation, because then it's like they don't want contact at all. I also don't like people who make too much eye contact, because they always make me feel like they want to hypnotize me or something, especially when they're also talking monotonously and when they make no movement with their hands either.
 

tcda

psicobolche
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
1,292
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5
I don't like eye contact at all, it makes me feel dizzy and a bit sick. Hard to explain, but it's it's like looking through something but into nothing. Maybe like a bottomless pit.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I have an INTENSE stare. I think I unnerve a lot of folks (including teachers). I won't even realize I'm staring and the person will say "hi".
 
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