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Thread: Self Worth

  1. #21
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by briar View Post

    So, you feel abandoned by your friends? Are you hurt that they didn't reach out more when you started to behave differently? If that's the case, then I can honestly imagine why you feel so lonely. However, perhaps it's still up to you do make the choice to actively seek their companionship again. I don't want to sound mean, but it doesn't seem realistic for people put their lives on hold, so to speak.

    PersonalityPage can probably explain this better than me:

    (INFP Personal Growth)

    You're probably right. You're friends probably didn't understand why you isolated yourself. Perhaps, they saw this as a form of rejection and were thus hesitant to reach out because they never saw any signs that you wanted help. Obviously, I don't know the details or understand everything perfectly. I am just trying to give a helpful perspective.
    Well, it is difficult to explain. You know, back then we saw nearly every day at school obligatory. I behaved different as in I was less talkative and more sad. It was not that I treated people badly, at least I think so.

    I can understand that they couldn't do too much when I don't talk to them about things. I cannot expect them to put their life on hold, as you say. However I think that they (or at least one) could have at least have told me if they think I changed behaviour, and they shouldn't have let me drop completely once the school was over and we didn't see each other obligatory - at least when I had at least some meaning for them. It does not seem so.

    It is not all people who dropped me completely immediately. A few wrote me few messages, 2-3 still do rarely. It became less and less though, and I can literally feel that the interest was low.

    I know I did mistakes, and I know it is not all their mistake. It has to be me, since it is me who they left alone, they probably didn't leave everyone alone. I for myself was not in a healthy position, and I had already in nearly whole my life such experiences that I have been wronged by people who I thought are my friends that I was just not able to act reasonable about it. I was overchallenged by my situation.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Lethal Sage's Avatar
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    Jan 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by kiddykat View Post
    IDK.. for me, self-worth ties in with feelings of guilt vs. no guilt. It's hard for me to separate it from my values/principles. In other words, if I do something that I know will hurt others, I'd feel like complete shit about myself. If I do something where I think will benefit the majority of the people, then I feel better. In a way, it has more to do with feeling as though I'm treating others in a more egalitarian way? Verses being motivated primarily by self-interest/selfishness/greed? I think having a healthy balance of taking care of myself/others is what keeps my self-worth in check. I see human relationships as integrated with one another. How we treat each other effects how other parts of society/social aspects function within the whole.. even though it's not as evident from a superficial point of view.

    Simple, but confusing- golden rule for me I guess? Yeah..
    I would say that that's great advice for an NF. I know my dad and brother feel the same way.

  3. #23
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Lethal Sage View Post
    How do you regain self worth? What is the process and are there any good materials on it? Have you lost yours? If so, how have you regained it, or are you still stuck with low self-esteem?
    I'd start with Seligman's Learned Optimism, then consider seriously optimum nutrition, diet and exercise, I'm very sure there's a mind-body link which plays an important part in psychology and affect regulation.

    Mankind isnt rational, its rationalising, so knowledge about affect and emotional is important to gain insight into your thinking and behaviour, including how you think about yourself.
    All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
    Chapter IV, p. 448. - Adam Smith, Book 3, The Wealth of Nations

    whether or not you credit psychoanalysis itself, the fact remains that we all must, to the greatest extent possible, understand one another's minds as our own; the very survival of humanity has always depended on it. - Open Culture

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