Experience with Aspergers?

[Siúil a Rúin]

I am currently doing some research to become more familiar with how to communicate with someone with Aspergers. There are a number of links online, but I was also wondering if anyone here has experience with this. I realize it is a spectrum disorder, and I have worked with a couple of individuals. What I have encountered involves a strongly concrete perspective that has to work with what is directly in front of them. For example the person cannot extend the idea that you can play an instrument even if you work as a teacher until they actually see and hear you play. There is need for strongly concrete and linear approaches to the world. There is also a tendency to approach a learning situation by telling the teacher what they are going to teach and so forth. I think that is part of the concrete perspective since they cannot imagine what the teacher would bring to the table. That concept is unknown and therefore too abstract.

I am currently trying to calibrate my communicate to an adult student who has what appears to be a relatively severe case, at least in terms of communication. This person constantly instills conflict, but is also incapable of dealing with conflict. I had to leave early because of a winter storm and they became quite upset, which I understand is an event that would be challenging in that context. I might be raked over the coals next week. My main area of anticipation is that I don't know what approach to take. I'm not even sure if the upset in one instance tranfers over that far. I might just deflect attention away from it and demonstrate a peaceful, happy mood to draw them into. I could also try to help the person reason through it by pointing out the information they are lacking to draw a conclusion and reassure them I had wanted to work with them that day. I could also just work out something simple and direct to say that somewhat mirrors their style. If I want to get a point across it needs to be direct. I also need to find out to what extent I should be veering them in the direction of normative behavior. In some cases with special needs, behavior therapists work with the whole team and everyone keeps the person on task to remember to ask before grabbing, respecting personal spaces, etc. This individual doesn't have a team of helpers. I can also just go with the flow and let it be however it is.

Where I work I am given all the special needs clients, although I don't have a degree in special education, but my work would probably fall under the category of "recreational" so it isn't considered an issue. I am somewhat isolated professionally in working in part because no one else there does much in this area. I am constantly learning with each new scenario.

If you have any experience or knowledge about Aspergers, feel free to relay it here whether or not it seems to directly apply to my situation. I just want to get more data points overall in both theory and application.

 

[tinker683]

I have mild Asperger's Syndrome so I'll post what I know and feel and hope that that is somewhat helpful, though I honestly don't think it will =\. I'll let you judge though.

When I was 3 I was diagnosed as being "profoundly deaf" and for two years went to the Florida D&B. Well, at the age of 5 I started responding to people and when my parents took me back to the doctors they told me I wasn't deaf (WHOOPS!) but instead I was mildly Autistic. They recommended to my parents that I be sent to a special ed school because of this. My parents were so furious over the doctor's decision that they decided they would "try out" me being in regular school and see how it went. I'm glad they did because it's interesting to me to know that I literally came REALLY close to riding the short bus to school every morning.

I didn't have very many friends growing up because I couldn't really connect to the them. The only ones I ever did were the other "geeks" and "loser" folk but otherwise people thought I was weird and largely left me alone.

It wouldn't be until I went through my depression 9 years ago that my psychiatrist corrected my diagnosis and told me I had Asperger's Syndrome and that I only had it mildly as it was more of a quirk for me than a really hidnering disorder.

As an adult, my AS just means that I have a really difficult time opening up or relating to people I don't know. People don't realize it but when I first meet them I'm analyzing them, watching their body language and listening to everything they say and not just what they say but HOW they say. From that I draw up a little "profile" in my head that I call on whenever I talk to them.

We Aspy's intellectualize our and other peoples emotions, we can't read intuitively like other people do. This is partly why I'm so quiet around people I've just met because I have to really examine them to determine how they feel about certain subjects. I've learned if I don't do that then I'll run the real risk of misunderstanding how they feel on a certain subject and might offend them in someway.

I speak with a vocabulary and in such a way as to where people think I'm "really smart" when in fact I've consistently scored average to above-average on IQ tests. In other words, I'm really just as intelligent as most of the people around. I actually have a hypothesis that most people really are 'smart' but they just don't like to show it for some stupid reason.

I know that when I was a child I was immature for my age for a while, then I somehow ended up jumping the maturity curve and became more mature than my classmates. I have no idea how this happened, I just know I was held back in the first grade because I wasn't growing up soon enough and then by middle school I was told I was "more adultlike" than my peers.

I'm not sure how helpful this has been, but let me know if you have any questions and I'll be happy to answer them as best I can.

 

[neptunesnet]

I As an adult, my AS just means that I have a really difficult time opening up or relating to people I don't know. People don't realize it but when I first meet them I'm analyzing them, watching their body language and listening to everything they say and not just what they say but HOW they say. From that I draw up a little "profile" in my head that I call on whenever I talk to them.

I find this so interesting.

I feel the same but for entirely different reasons.

I read people's body language, listen to how they say things, take in their mannerisms, and create a little profile of each person that I met in my head for later interaction as well, but instead of that distancing me from others emotionally it helps me connect with them on a profound level. It aids in my empathy. I come off initially as aloof and a little cold and uncaring, but inside I feel things rather intensely.

We Aspy's intellectualize our and other peoples emotions, we can't read intuitively like other people do. This is partly why I'm so quiet around people I've just met because I have to really examine them to determine how they feel about certain subjects. I've learned if I don't do that then I'll run the real risk of misunderstanding how they feel on a certain subject and might offend them in someway.

I relate to this, but only on the surface.

I don't know if this is in any way connected to my Fi, but I intellectualize my emotions, too. However, the difference between our methods is I think that I trust my feelings more whereas you're more suspicious of them. My feelings inform my judgment while yours defy your judgment. Interesting how that works. We look similarly on the outside yet are polar opposites on the inside. That, I'd imagine, would be confusing for an outsider.

 

[Betty Blue]

I am currently doing some research to become more familiar with how to communicate with someone with Aspergers. There are a number of links online, but I was also wondering if anyone here has experience with this. I realize it is a spectrum disorder, and I have worked with a couple of individuals. What I have encountered involves a strongly concrete perspective that has to work with what is directly in front of them. For example the person cannot extend the idea that you can play an instrument even if you work as a teacher until they actually see and hear you play. There is need for strongly concrete and linear approaches to the world. There is also a tendency to approach a learning situation by telling the teacher what they are going to teach and so forth. I think that is part of the concrete perspective since they cannot imagine what the teacher would bring to the table. That concept is unknown and therefore too abstract.

I am currently trying to calibrate my communicate to an adult student who has what appears to be a relatively severe case, at least in terms of communication. This person constantly instills conflict, but is also incapable of dealing with conflict. I had to leave early because of a winter storm and they became quite upset, which I understand is an event that would be challenging in that context. I might be raked over the coals next week. My main area of anticipation is that I don't know what approach to take. I'm not even sure if the upset in one instance tranfers over that far. I might just deflect attention away from it and demonstrate a peaceful, happy mood to draw them into. I could also try to help the person reason through it by pointing out the information they are lacking to draw a conclusion and reassure them I had wanted to work with them that day. I could also just work out something simple and direct to say that somewhat mirrors their style. If I want to get a point across it needs to be direct. I also need to find out to what extent I should be veering them in the direction of normative behavior. In some cases with special needs, behavior therapists work with the whole team and everyone keeps the person on task to remember to ask before grabbing, respecting personal spaces, etc. This individual doesn't have a team of helpers. I can also just go with the flow and let it be however it is.

Where I work I am given all the special needs clients, although I don't have a degree in special education, but my work would probably fall under the category of "recreational" so it isn't considered an issue. I am somewhat isolated professionally in working in part because no one else there does much in this area. I am constantly learning with each new scenario.

If you have any experience or knowledge about Aspergers, feel free to relay it here whether or not it seems to directly apply to my situation. I just want to get more data points overall in both theory and application.

It's really good to see people showing an interest.
I have a lot of experience of this, pm me though (if you want) as i do not wish to openly discuss it.

 

[human101]

i have aspergers never realised until two friends told me they thought i had mild symptoms then i went to gp who confirmed this was true he called what i had as 'odd but active' aspergers.

 

[Ivy]

toonia, my son was diagnosed with high-functioning autism last year. It has been quite a journey for us. I would be happy to offer my experiences and research, but beyond that, we've been working with Chapel Hill TEACCH which is a wonderful resource. They offer free telephone or email consultation to educators. They won't be able to discuss your student specifically, but they can give you lots of fantastic general feedback and advice.

Unfortunately I left the form with the phone/email of the person who does the consultation in my van which is now in the shop, but I'm sure if you contacted them via the website they could give you the number/email to contact.
Division TEACCH - Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication handicapped CHildren - UNC-CH

 

[Little_Sticks]

...I actually have a hypothesis that most people really are 'smart' but they just don't like to show it for some stupid reason...

Consider this what you will, but if someone acts stupid all the time, can they still be called smart? Even if it can be reasoned they have a lot of great understanding and powerful intellectual reasoning going on in their thoughts that they never apply?

I hate to tell you this, and I know you will have to figure it out yourself, but most people don't show it because they aren't 'smart' to begin with. And here I'm using 'smart' to mean 'smart' from your internally analyzing perspective, where smart is figuring out the nuts and bolts of a machine and 'not smart' would be taking that for granted and using the machine for a purpose while not understanding how it works.

 

[Eric B]

My wife (studying psychology) figured that I probably have it. Meet most of the criteria in the DSM-IV, and it does seem to explain a lot.

 

[human101]

and i think the thing about the symptoms showing up in the family are quite true my dad is a recluse computer programmer and even though he has a good career and 6 children he seems just as disconnected as me, im the only introvert of my siblings.

 

[Fecal McAngry]

If anyone has experience using Vitamin D3 to treat Asperger's or Autism, I'd be very curious in your results; please post...

Autism and Vitamin D

 

[tinker683]

Consider this what you will, but if someone acts stupid all the time, can they still be called smart? Even if it can be reasoned they have a lot of great understanding and powerful intellectual reasoning going on in their thoughts that they never apply?

I hate to tell you this, and I know you will have to figure it out yourself, but most people don't show it because they aren't 'smart' to begin with. And here I'm using 'smart' to mean 'smart' from your internally analyzing perspective, where smart is figuring out the nuts and bolts of a machine and 'not smart' would be taking that for granted and using the machine for a purpose while not understanding how it works.

Good point. Sounds a lot like me and cars

 

[cafe]

I usually try to be (very) direct, keep calm, stick to my guns, don't take things personally, and keep a sense of humor.

 

[proximo]

My daughter has Asperger's, and I also work as a carer in a residential college for young adults (16 to 25) with autism of varying severity. I've spent the last 11 years of my daughter's life learning and reading and studying the autism spectrum, and meeting up with lots of autistic people, their specialists and their families.

I find that the best approach is just to live in the moment with them. They like reassurance as to what's going to happen in the immediate future, but beyond that, there's no need to go into it. They respond well to a calm demeanour, open and positive body language.

I've really not known any of them to hold a grudge as such, so I don't think you need to worry about that. When the immediate future suddenly becomes a question mark, that's a big source of anxiety. But long after the event, when it's now in the past, as long as the current situation is "secure", you can usually reason through what happened in the past without fearing a bad reaction. The past isn't threatening, because it's a known entity, they're pretty matter-of-fact about it.

They're kind of like cats, in a way... you can't force yourself on them, you have to let them come to you and keep your eye out for any signs of communication, respond confidently and un-self-consciously.

But sometimes they don't think to communicate their needs; I don't think it's an instictive thing to think "if I say this to another person, my need could be met", they're quite likely to just sort of suffer in silence and find some way to compensate or adapt internally to their lack. So keep an eye out for that, and ask specific questions.

For example, "is everything okay?", like "how are you?", is very often a rhetorical question in reality, and an older Aspie has probably learned that you're supposed to just say "yes", regardless. It's better to look closely at their work and target your question towards an aspect of it that you think they might be struggling with. "Do you want me to explain this part to you again?", pointing to the place in their book, is better.

The learning style though, is very much visual. I've also found with some of the people I work with, that a visual timeline can be useful and very reassuring for them. You can put symbols or pictures (or words if they can read) on this timeline so they can look at it to reassure themselves about what's going to happen and in what order.

You can also use 'social stories' to help them come to terms with things: "on Tuesday there was a lot of snow. Cars often get stuck in snow, and the people driving them have to wait a long time in the cold, without any food, for somebody to rescue them. Nobody wants to be in this situation, so on Tuesday when it started to snow, the staff decided to go home early, before the snow became too deep. This way, nobody got stuck in the snow. Because the staff had gone home early, Mark couldn't have his English lesson that day, so instead he went home and watched TV/played with his Lego/read a book about turtles. The following Tuesday, his English lessons resumed as usual, and everything was okay."

They'd remember that story and in the future you could refer to it to help deal with similar situations. You'd only have to say "if it snows this afternoon, I might have to go home early" and they'll access that story in their head and be cool with it. You can do a pre-emptive one as well, to prepare them for an uncertain immediate future. Something like "if signs of severe weather are observed from the windows, I'll need to go home before the end of the lesson, to make sure I get home safely. If this happens, Mark will go home too, and we'll continue lessons next week as usual." Depending on the individual, you might need to add "the weather is nobody's fault, it just happens" - I know one guy who's a tad paranoid, and has actually blamed staff for deliberately making it snow so they could go home!!

But most of them respond very well to scientific facts.

I could go on for days... but I'll leave you with that for now

 

[proximo]

don't take things personally

x 10000 to this one

 

[Betty Blue]

Consider this what you will, but if someone acts stupid all the time, can they still be called smart? Even if it can be reasoned they have a lot of great understanding and powerful intellectual reasoning going on in their thoughts that they never apply?

I hate to tell you this, and I know you will have to figure it out yourself, but most people don't show it because they aren't 'smart' to begin with. And here I'm using 'smart' to mean 'smart' from your internally analyzing perspective, where smart is figuring out the nuts and bolts of a machine and 'not smart' would be taking that for granted and using the machine for a purpose while not understanding how it works.

Well it depends on the context but by and large i would most certainly disagree. Ron Davis, like many others did not speak till he was seventeen. The mans a genuis but was put in the corner of his class room with a towl over his head through out most of his younger school days and considered an imbecile.

 

[prplchknz]

Well it depends on the context but by and large i would most certainly disagree. Ron Davis, like many others did not speak till he was seventeen. The mans a genuis but was put in the corner of his class room with a towl over his head through out most of his younger school days and considered an imbecile.

+1

 

[Ivy]

+2

 

[Aimee]

I worked with a number of students with this diagnosis at the School for the Blind and Visually Impaired. Asperger's is quite a large spectrum. I knew kids with it who would never live independently. However, there are many people who are quite successful who fit the same criteria. Many computer programmers have it. There's also that famous veterinarian who wrote a highly acclaimed book about her work. It's on my list although I haven't read it yet. I remember in an interview with her on NPR she was said when she would go to dinner with people she would plan ahead & rehearse & roleplay beforehand. That technique was very helpful to my students' success in the social sphere.

 

[Ivy]

Temple Grandin? Love her. I believe she says she has HFA, not Asperger's, but I think they're considering merging them into one classification in the next edition of the DSM anyway.

Did you see the biopic on HBO about her? I haven't yet, but I'd like to.

 

[Little_Sticks]

Consider this what you will...

^Well, it's all perspective of course, hence the disclaimer. But if the guy was put in a classroom where he obsessively put a towel on his head then obviously that wasn't the appropriate environment for him. My words were intended to be directed at those people who are given the proper environments and encouragement to grow their minds (or opportunity) and do not. And yes I realize we could go on and on about whether or not those that do not grow their minds, given the proper environments and encouragement, are actually given the 'proper environments and encouragement', but to argue that is almost akin to arguing that everyone is a shining star or genius given the right circumstances and it's a moot point. So what I'm getting at is I don't think it's unlikely to imagine there are people who just aren't that bright or smart. Now you don't have to agree with that statement, but understand that I'm endorsing a statistical outlook based on my observations and experience of those people around me and not simply stating as fact that some people are stupid. At the core I'm a reasonable being (willing to sacrifice my well-being for other people if reasonable) and if I ever became a parent I imagine I would probably love my child and want to do what is best for him/her no matter even if he/she was retarded, but really guys (and the motivation for me posting this), grouping together to jointly 'one up' me and make this personal for what I said for reasons that aren't important to me to understand is really unnecessary, aspergers, autism, or neurotypical as any of you may (be)/(consider yourself).

The infinite ability of human beings to belittle and demean other people to endorse their own position and outlook in life constantly amazes me. One would think by now I would be hardened to it, but it doesn't seem to matter what anyone is, it always happens, and it's always unnecessarily hurtful - an always scary proposition. Is it too much to ask that an Aspie not have to deal with the same crap they get from neurotypicals from aspies? Perhaps so... The only reason I even made that comment to tinker was because I saw that he/she was being very honest and I wanted to maybe clarify a thought he/she had that I once had without having to spend time agonizing over it when people stupidly treat him/her bad simply because they just don't like him/her, not caring about how that makes the other person feel or why they act the way they do. A lot of well-being comes from perception, and it's especially important for an aspie to come to the most objective conclusions that they can so they aren't putting themselves down and getting personal over things that are best left as not personal.

Now I don't care for making this personal as I was trying to maybe help Tinker, if at all possible, and I know how the rest of this will play out, it will continue to be an attack on my thoughts until I'm made to feel like a fool and compromise my conclusions for the sake of not enjoying being attacked; unless you take this information and use it as an opportunity to pretend you weren't making anything personal and wouldn't attack my thoughts any further, but I don't think I really care either way. So this is the last post I'll make here in this thread. Have fun discussing. <vanishes>