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Do you consider yourself resilient?

proteanmix

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Resilience is:
  • The mental ability to recover quickly from depression, illness or misfortune.
  • Able to weather tribulation without cracking
From wikipedia
Resilience is defined as a dynamic process that individuals exhibit positive behavioral adaptation when they encounter significant adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress. Resilience is a two-dimensional construct concerning the exposure of adversity and the positive adjustment outcomes of that adversity. This two-dimensional construct implies two judgments: one about a "positive adaptation" and the other about the significance of risk (or adversity).

Resilience can be described by viewing:

1. good outcomes regardless of high-risk status,
2. constant competence under stress, and
3. recovery from trauma.

Resilient people are expected to adapt successfully even though they experience risk factors that are against good development. Risk factors are related to poor or negative outcomes. For example, poverty, low socioeconomic status, and mothers with schizophrenia are coupled with lower academic achievement and more emotional or behavioral problems.
As resilient attitude can be:
  • Have realistic and attainable expectations and goals.
  • Show good judgment and problem solving skills.
  • Be persistent and determined.
  • Be responsible and thoughtful rather than impulsive.
  • Be effective communicators with good people skills.
  • Learn from past experience so as to not repeat mistakes.
  • Be empathetic toward other people (caring how others around them are feeling).
  • Have a social conscience, (caring about the welfare of others).
  • Feel good about themselves as a person.
  • Feel like they are in control of their lives.
  • Be optimistic rather than pessimistic.
It seems to me that the a major component emotional and psychological resilience is time-dependent; the turnaround between the trauma and the rebound is relatively short, i.e. the beginning of a traumatic event or episode and maybe a year from onset even if the event is still happening resilience has kicked in.

Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?

Is dwelling on why something traumatic occurred a hindrance to resilience or is there something out there like resilience that factors in time necessary to process adversity and tribulation and still emerge favorably? If you remove the time variable in resilience, i.e. instead of rebounding relatively quickly and consistently (let's say about a year from onset of event) to rebounding around 5 - 10 years after onset of a traumatic event would you consider that resilient or something else?
 
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R

Riva

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I guess this is the question you are trying to ask in this thread of yours is it?

She could have been trying to run away from her thoughts and feelings by clubbing that night,

It is like drinking when you feel depressed.

Quite the opposite of resilience I would say.
 
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Oaky

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I would consider myself resilient although I do not have a resilient attitude.
 

highlander

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Yes, very resilient, which is something I've always known and validated through multiple emotional intelligence tests. I wallow in the feelings right away and then get over stuff. Some things are harder than others obviously. I do believe that "good comes from all things" though it is hard to sometimes to see what is good in the short run. It may help that I have a tendency to hope for the best and plan for the worst, with contingency plans always in the wings.
 
R

Riva

Guest
Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?
Yes....

But there are two ways to be so.

(1) The point you mentioned above
(2) By your attitude. (No I won't feel negatively affected by ...........)


Is dwelling on why something traumatic occurred a hindrance to resilience or is there something out there like resilience that factors in time necessary to process adversity and tribulation and still emerge favorably? If you remove the time variable in resilience, i.e. instead of rebounding relatively quickly and consistently (let's say about a year from onset of event) to rebounding around 5 - 10 years after onset of a traumatic event would you consider that resilient or something else?

5 seconds or 5 years if you have learned something from your pasts and if you'll be resilient in the future I think you deserve some credit and could count yourself as resilient.

Because most people can't do that. They say why me, why now, why again etc

------------------------------------------

You edited your OP.
 
R

Riva

Guest
Yes....

But there are two ways to be so.

(1) The point you mentioned above
(2) By your attitude. (No I won't feel negatively affected by ...........)

Yes, very resilient, which is something I've always known and validated through multiple emotional intelligence tests. I wallow in the feelings right away and then get over stuff. Some things are harder than others obviously. I do believe that "good comes from all things" though it is hard to sometimes to see what is good in the short run. It may help that I have a tendency to hope for the best and plan for the worst, with contingency plans always in the wings.

^ is the (2) I mentioned.
 

Halla74

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I am the most resilient person I know.

I camly surf through disaster, and recover from bad happenings with great quickness.

I don't think I'm capble of being unhappy, or of living life without an optimist viewpoint. I will achieve these things for my own comfort and survival, I'm just programmed that way.

I'm very thankful for it actually... :yes:
 

Halla74

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yes increadibly resilient, but ENTP fickle too

"Fickle" is an accessory process to resilience. :newwink:

It is an integral part of the background gears and machinery that make the whole thing work right... :nerd:
 

tinkerbell

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"Fickle" is an accessory process to resilience. :newwink:

It is an integral part of the background gears and machinery that make the whole thing work right... :nerd:


Kind-a

I can live through very stressful occations and come out without beign a basket case.

I can be really fickly about jobs, and groups and stuff like that, if they bug me enough I just change.... ENTP- lack of Jness. :D
 

LucrativeSid

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Recovering from a set-back isn't that difficult for me, I don't think. Actually, I think it's better that way. Without that kind of challenge, I'm lost. When something bad happens, I have no choice but to conquer it. When everything is okay, I get lazy and don't do anything. So, I guess I'm resilient in some ways and not in others.

That was my answer to your first question. I have no idea when it comes to the rest of them.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I find myself resilient for a couple of reasons. The first is internal adaptability. My worldview is not rigid. I reinterpret my understanding of reality depending on new information I learn. I let the internal model respond and adapt rather than insisting on forcing all new information into a preset model. This process can be painful and it also requires a certain degree of skepticism that does not clutch onto a single idea as infallible or constant.

The second reason I consider myself resilient is because I don't have to feel okay to be okay. I can be deeply hurt or frightened and still function. I have a high tolerance to pain. I've learned ways to identify what needs to be done and to focus in on it in the present. Then recuperation time alone is necessary. When I feel something overwhelming I still press on and it has served me well.

I also try to have a clear sense of internal boundaries. There is only so much I can know or do, and so if I act within the best motivations I know and the result is still bad or wrong, there isn't any more I can do.

That sense of how small I actually am in the whole reminds me of the limits of my actual control and influence, and the limits of my knowledge. Anytime I lose sight of my true measure of minimal significance is when I start to lose the ability to be resilient.
 

Laurie

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In theory I am, I recover quickly from small things. But if something "large" rocks my world I don't recover quickly at all - I dwell on it a long time, even years.

I tend to need to talk things out that bother me so if I can do that, usually I'm ok. If I don't get to talk things out, for whatever reason, I don't get over things.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

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I guess it depends on the kind of trouble I'm facing. I get depressed from some problems for quite a while. Most problems affect me only for a very passing moment - I just feel and live the problems momentarily, then I'm back in business, removing the troubles as soon as possible. Then again, some problems don't touch me at all - I go straight to the problem solving phase.
 

cascadeco

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I find myself resilient for a couple of reasons. The first is internal adaptability. My worldview is not rigid. I reinterpret my understanding of reality depending on new information I learn. I let the internal model respond and adapt rather than insisting on forcing all new information into a preset model.This process can be painful and it also requires a certain degree of skepticism that does not clutch onto a single idea as infallible or constant.

I relate very much to this. I agree though, the process can be painful - incorporating the new information or taking the time necessary to shift perspectives so as to adapt and move forward.

The second reason I consider myself resilient is because I don't have to feel okay to be okay. I can be deeply hurt or frightened and still function. I have a high tolerance to pain. I've learned ways to identify what needs to be done and to focus in on it in the present. Then recuperation time alone is necessary. When I feel something overwhelming I still press on and it has served me well.

I relate to this. There have been periods in my life when internally I have *felt* far from resilient, but thus far I've also always had quite a lot of willpower and determination (in the sense of being able to force myself to do things I might not feel like doing, and in the sense of gritting-my-teeth through whatever current non-optimal situation I'm facing), so externally I have always kept on trucking and have remained quite functional, and in more stressful/conflict situations I tend to remain calm.

Also I have a very high drive to 'solve the problem' (understand, analyze, then solve/address it by making behavioral changes or changing my perception of things) and move on, simply because I see little point in remaining in a negative frame of mind; life is too short and let's face it, I'd rather be positive and look to the future! The time this takes will vary on the situation, but again it's pretty much done internally and I continue on in my everyday life throughout, without any impacts to speak of in my life externally.

I think not being able to move on/let go tends to be tied more to having difficulty really accepting ones' own lack of control in many situations, and inability to take what I'll call a more detached view of Life, meaning Life can often be unfair, unjust, chaotic...it's just a fact. So, not accepting certain facts, maybe.

To the OP, to answer the final question...I think a 5-10 year processing time seems, well, un-resilient, especially if over the entire time the persons' inability to move forward is really impacting them..which I assume would be the case. I'd almost equate it to 5-10 years of life - of actual living - that are lost. It seems a shame. But maybe that's extreme.
 

Nescio

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<--- Extremely resilient by nature... or just oblivious

Elementary school was a beating for me... retrospectively

middle school sucks for everyone...

and I've had my fights with mind problems... (what with the ADD and all)
 

Lark

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This is one of those topic that its difficult to respond to without appearing, at the very least, to be immodest or boastful.

Relative to a lot of the people who I have daily contact with I am resilient. That's not to say that I personally am a paragon of strength in adversity, optimism and determination or whatever criteria you choose. Perhaps they are all just poorer examples of those traits than me.

From experience I'm able to continue thinking, reasoning and behaving calmly and confidently under duress and stress. I've also cracked on a couple of occasions and I know just what will make me crack and when. When I have cracked for the most part the circumstances has involved simultaneous stressers, rather than a single event or incident no matter how traumatic. Most of the time it has involved deliberate pressurisation/scheming or suspiscions about it. That's pretty unique and I believe would threaten even the most resilient.

Conversely I've met people who lack any or all resilience and suffer as a cosequence. I've also consciously worked to try and teach the sorts of resilience which can have the greatest benefits, such as learned optimism or positive psychology.

Its not easy if you meet someone genuinely lacking in resilience. Individuals whose biography and biology (to use the twin euphenisms for nature and nuture) prejudice their development of resilience. There's really little you can do or expect, really it is a matter of attempting to de-escalate or manage them when stress or adversity triggers their fight or flight reactions. Now when I talk about stress, in all seriousness, this could be as little as encountering unexpected weather, a change in daily routines, such as unscheduled bus or train detour.

The reality is that for most of their lives these people will need someone on hand to co-regulate for them, assist in managing their emotional state, now that might be friends or family or some medium like an internet chat room were they can troll or vent rather than professionals (public or private) but they'll need it.

Some will develop greater self-regulation and others wont, which can be in turn to do with motivation to change, incentives to change, cognitive capacity or abilities to develop insights in the first place (all prejudiced by a lack of resilience too).
 
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BlueScreen

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I'd say yes. I normally do well under a lot of pressure or in high demand/high stress situations. I can get annoyed and want out under a little pressure when I don't think it matters though. I take a lot of hits to heart and go down occasionally, but can usually step out of it if I need to and something matters. When I fall I normally work through it and come up stronger and knowing more. I'm very level emotioned also, and pretty difficult to get wound up or bogged down.
 

The_Liquid_Laser

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Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?

I believe that I am a resiliant person now, but that I didn't used to be. In my experience this question "Why me?!?" is one of the biggest things hindering resiliency. In truth reality takes a dump on every person from time to time. None of us is being singled out. Once I have that mindset it allows me to easily deal with the problem and move on. This is especially effective if it simply appears that I'm having bad luck. On the other hand if my problem has more to do with the relationships I have with other people, then asking "Why" is a good idea, because it can lead to developing effective strategies that will avoid having this problem repeat again.
 

miss fortune

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well- considering what I've gotten through to have the nice, normal life I have today, I'd have to have some streak of resiliancy

I do think that a simple attitude adjustment is generally all that is needed- and I suspect that it's more alligned with extroverted personality qualities than with the introverted ones (sorry introverts!)
 
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