I really don't what to say. I think I am more resilient towards the major events in my life, but not as much the smaller events. I hate this about myself, because I feel like when I'm asking for help I feel like people see me as a little kid who needs guidance in the world rather than someone who is in genuine pain. I am in genuine pain, though. I think it's a few different things-society would say my mom dying is a big event, and while it is a big event in terms of shaping how my life turned out it didn't cause me much pain. It's something that's out of my hands, and plus the pains that stick with me most are the ones that cause me to feel disgusted by myself. How is that going to cause me to feel disgusted by myself? Meanwhile, me saying to someone, "You're the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning", is, or forgetting to do something important. Or, a more stereotypically big event, getting creeped on. And even something that is a big event that happened for me, getting kicked out of school, I've made goals for myself that have helped me mostly move on from it and heal from it. How I am going to heal from the cringe memories, have my brain hooked up to a machine and have the memory deleted? Actually, I would say I'm resilient in the sense I'm willing to take the bad moments and turn them into an opportunity to improve myself.
