Body Language

[Mole]

I don't agree with Victor that paying attention to body language is manipulative.

'Course not.

If you wish to control others, say your pupils for instance, it is vital to pay attention to their body language.

And the price of paying attention to their body language is your attention to them as persons.

But you can only afford to do this if you are in a power relationship over them, such as the teacher/pupil relationship.

In a relationship between equals the price of paying attention to body language is prohibitive, as an equal is in a position to insist you treat them as a person.

 

[Virtual ghost]

To be honest I am reading a book about body language these days.

And to be honest I am getting a little bit annoyed. Since it shows how much nonsense there actually is in "proper" communication.

Plus there is few things that made me roll my eyes.
For example:

1. Vladimir Putin is basicly the most intimidating kind of a person there is.

2. In 90% of seduction cases / scenarios a woman is the one which subtly starts it and it goes on and on about this. (what is ok)
However at the end of chapter there is short comment that says something like : but there is one rare type of men that will not notice almost none of this signals so we simply recommend saying "I want to spend more time with you" bluntly in his face.



I mean maybe people do communicate through bodylanguage but I certainly don't.

 

[Zenihita]

I'm not to sure about this body language mumbo jumbo. I avoid eye contact and I'm always looking around, that doesn't mean that I'm lying or that I'm "trying to escape". Eye contact just makes me feel uncomfortable and I like observing the scene. Different people behave differently, unless you've been around someone for a long time and you know them long enough to notice certain patterns, I wouldn't pay much attention to BL

People who say that avoiding eye contact is necessarily a sign of lying don't know what their talking about, that's a stereotype. Watch Lie to me sometimes, I'm not saying it's the absolute truth, but some interesting facts are pointed out there.

To be honest I am reading a book about body language these days.

And to be honest I am getting a little bit annoyed. Since it shows how much nonsense there actually is in "proper" communication.

Plus there is few things that made me roll my eyes.
For example:

1. Vladimir Putin is basicly the most intimidating kind of a person there is.

2. In 90% of seduction cases / scenarios a woman is the one which subtly starts it and it goes on and on about this. (what is ok)
However at the end of chapter there is short comment that says something like : but there is one rare type of men that will not notice almost none of this signals so we simply recommend saying "I want to spend more time with you" bluntly in his face.



I mean maybe people do communicate through bodylanguage but I certainly don't.

Maybe it's just a stupid book? If they say that about Putin I wouldn't take them seriously either
And you do communicate through body language, you just don't notice it, everybody does, when they don't do it consciously they still do it subconsciously. When you film yourself on camera and watch the video closely you will see a lot of things you didn't know you were doing. Well at least it's that way for most people.

 

[Fidelia]

Victor, that's crazy talk! I don't pay attention to body language so I can control people. I do it so that I can respond appropriately to them. For example, I remember the day my boyfriend told me that his mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. We were only friends then, but as I sunnily came in and started babbling away, I suddenly realized that something was very wrong. I didn't know him well enough to know what was wrong, but I suddenly knew that I should shut up and perhaps ask him how he was doing. I had never hugged him before and am not particularly demonstrative with those I don't know well, but I felt compelled to go over and hug him even before knowing exactly what was the matter. That's not an attempt to control. It's actually assistance in being more sensitive to someone else's needs.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Maybe it's just a stupid book? If they say that about Putin I wouldn't take them seriously either
And you do communicate through body language, you just don't notice it, everybody does, when they don't do it consciously they still do it subconsciously. When you film yourself on camera and watch the video closely you will see a lot of things you didn't know you were doing. Well at least it's that way for most people.

I doubt that it is that much stupid since when I start to observe more carefully my environment it seems quite correct actually.

As for Putin thing: Well I seem too share and number of personal an social similarities with him and to be honest people trully find me intimidating.


I know that everybody are doing this sort of communcation but I am simply not "expressive" enough in it. So I am quite hard to read in the end.
While you just have to listen what I said and that is it.

 

[Zenihita]

I doubt that it is that much stupid since when I start to observe more carefully my environment it seems quite correct actually.

As for Putin thing: Well I seem too share and number of personal an social similarities with him and to be honest people trully find me intimidating.

I don't know, maybe I haven't watched Putin much lately, but I don't remember him being quite so intimidating. Then again I guess I could see how other people would see him that way.

I know that everybody are doing this sort of communcation but I am simply not "expressive" enough in it. So I am quite hard to read in the end.
While you just have to listen what I said and that is it.

That's quite possible, although in critical moments I suppose you could be easier to read than you'd think.