What Makes a Person Likeable?

[wolfy]

What makes a person likeable?
Is there a core trait? Openness?
Is it a set of traits? If so, what are they?

What do you think?

 

[proteanmix]

Wolfy...

 

[Synarch]

Being real.

 

[proteanmix]

Being real...but not too quickly.

 

[Synarch]

Why not?

 

[BlueScreen]

It's subjective, except in extreme cases where someone pisses off everyone. Though there will probably still be another person who likes this and wants to piss off everyone with them.

 

[Fidelia]

Being real, tempered with discretion - you show vulnerability, but in appropriate and reciprocal increments. Inappropriate amounts of information in proportion to acquaintance indicates insecurity or lack of judgement. No disclosure keeps people at a distance (and also shows insecurity, but presents in a stronger way).

Having enough personal confidence to have margin left over to focus on other people and concentrate on valuing them.

Having a sense of dignity that does not call in weaponry unnecessarily, but that also draws clear boundaries. People take their cues for how to assign value according to how you assign value to yourself.

 

[proteanmix]

People don't want it up front. They say they do, but they don't. It's better to be underwhelming that overwhelming.

 

[Synarch]

People don't want it up front. They say they do, but they don't. It's better to be underwhelming that overwhelming.

Fuck that. I would rather overwhelm then overwhelm some more.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

People don't want it up front. They say they do, but they don't. It's better to be underwhelming that overwhelming.

QFT

 

[BlueScreen]

Fuck that. I would rather overwhelm then overwhelm some more.

Agree. Maybe it applies to some people.

 

[proteanmix]

Fuck that. I would rather overwhelm then overwhelm some more.

You can overwhelm at your leisure. Once you've underwhelmed. It's incremental.

Think of all the people you've met that have come off "too ______"

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

What if, by overwhelming, you conform to other's expectations of you and thereby underwhelm them?

 

[Synarch]

You can overwhelm at your leisure. Once you've underwhelmed. It's incremental.

Think of all the people you've met that have come off "too ______"

Yeah, but that's the thing. I don't want to attract people turned off when I jack on the realness. I would rather be myself and find out if we can be cool. Otherwise, I just end up approaching it like I would a sales call, by adopting this persona.

 

[proteanmix]

What if, by overwhelming, you conform to other's expectations of you and thereby underwhelm them?

I think you're shadowboxing at that point. Your competition is yourself and if you can outdo you then you have a winner.

 

[Synarch]

What if, by overwhelming, you conform to other's expectations of you and thereby underwhelm them?

It could happen.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

It's the shadow boxing that separates you from the others.

 

[proteanmix]

Yeah, but that's the thing. I don't want to attract people turned off when I jack on the realness. I would rather be myself and find out if we can be cool. Otherwise, I just end up approaching it like I would a sales call, by adopting this persona.

Define realness, plz.

And I'm not saying hide your real self, just let it out s l o w l y.

 

[Synarch]

Define realness, plz.

And I'm not saying hide your real self, just let it out s l o w l y.

I just don't like being self-conscious and presenting a front all the time. I would rather be my usual and if we get along, we get along.

 

[Charmed Justice]

So many things make people likable. I find most people at least superficially likable. A person is especially likable to me if they can: talk about a diversity of topics with a moderate degree of competence, are somewhat self-disclosing and open, true to themselves, trust other people and are trustworthy, easily enjoy the company of other people, are optimistic or at least actively working towards a brighter day, generous, polite, humorous, flexible, able to see issues from multiple different angles, accepting of others and their weaknesses, and playful.