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What Makes a Person Likeable?

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
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I just don't like being self-conscious and presenting a front all the time. I would rather be my usual and if we get along, we get along.

It's not fronting. Sometimes being you (not you you) can be like throwing cold water in someones face. I prefer frogs in boiling water.

If you're just out there, you give people no period of adjustment. And there are often people would will like you just fine if you just give them time to warm up to you. But there are also people who will like you if you tell them you like anal plugs as well within the first three hours of knowing them. Perform an audience analysis.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
As far as presenting a front goes. I think a likeable persons personality is broad. So they put their best foot forward. That is why likeable people tend to have broad interests to draw from. Their thinking is open as opposed to closed.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
It's not fronting. Sometimes being you (not you you) can be like throwing cold water in someones face. I prefer frogs in boiling water.

If you're just out there, you give people no period of adjustment. And there are often people would will like you just fine if you just give them time to warm up to you. But there are also people who will like you if you tell them you like anal plugs as well within the first three hours of knowing them. Perform an audience analysis.

I didn't know you like anal plugs.
 

Synarch

Once Was
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8,445
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As far as presenting a front goes. I think a likeable persons personality is broad. So they put their best foot forward. That is why likeable people tend to have broad interests to draw from. Their thinking is open as opposed to closed.

That's a nice way to think about it. Well, of course I wouldn't talk about certain things but I also would feel compelled to be my real self.
 

laughingebony

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Messages
236
MBTI Type
INTP
Define realness, plz.

And I'm not saying hide your real self, just let it out s l o w l y.

...

Emily Dickinson said:
Tell all the Truth but tell it slant—
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightening to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind—

Synarch said:
Being real.

I have imaginary friends whom I like.
 

Lady_X

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i don't know what's likable to others but i like authentic accepting people who say funny or interesting things or at least allow me to tease them for not being that way. :D
 

entropie

Permabanned
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Horse urine, at least thats what the packaging to this bottle here reads
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
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Horse urine, at least thats what the packaging to this bottle here reads

Yes! Discuss the rejuvenating and age defying qualities of horse urine. You'll have to beat them back with your riding crop!
 

musttry

New member
Joined
Mar 12, 2009
Messages
118
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INFJ
As far as presenting a front goes. I think a likeable persons personality is broad. So they put their best foot forward. That is why likeable people tend to have broad interests to draw from. Their thinking is open as opposed to closed.

I wonder if likeable people have broad interests or if people with broad interests expose themselves to more people who might like them.

What I'm getting at is that you can't really control who will like you. Some people will; some people won't.

So when other posters say be "real", I gather it's more about making sure you're alright with yourself and try to be as genuine as possible. Then, people will like you for who you really are instead of a fake. It makes it easier for you to be comfortable and you'll never deceive anyone.

Bringing it back to MBTI: As a slightly introverted NF guy, I find that extroverted NFs and NTs seem to have the most problem with me. I don't put up with shit and I don't really become admirative of the loud mouths, so they tend to stay away from me. On the other hand, I seem to be able to speak the xSTx language and have quite a few of these as friends.

Now to speak to a gender issue, I find people of the female species to be very likeable when they have a nice shape, you know nice ... (meh, I know what I like, you can insert your own text) ;) Very likeable!!
 

entropie

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To justify one is not a likeable guy by saying: at least I am real and do not deceive anyone, answers in itself why people are likeable.

Cause noone likes a person without flaws. And that answers the question to the op in 99.9% of the cases. The most liked people are those who one would think of he has flaws oneself has not.

To actually use that as a weapon to become more likeable would be deception and that one can only justify with saying: but but I am just so confused :D.

Society is a sausage, there is no such thing as real friendship, especially for a con man, who even manages to deceive himself.
 

Lady_X

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put down the sauce entropie! that is quite enough!
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
As far as presenting a front goes. I think a likeable persons personality is broad. So they put their best foot forward. That is why likeable people tend to have broad interests to draw from. Their thinking is open as opposed to closed.

Yesss!!! Those broad interests to draw from also allow the person to have more in common with a wider variety of people, which makes them more likeable.

As far as being yourself - Synarch, I think it's like picking clothes out of your wardrobe to wear somewhere. They're all still your clothes. They all still reflect you. You aren't hiding the fact that you have other clothes in your closet. However, you pick suitable clothes as the occasion calls for it.

You also may be the life of the party or outspoken or tender or introspective and all of those traits are part of you. However, depending on the relationship you have to someone, you may show varying proportions and intensities of those qualities. (Kind of like having more shades available on your palette when painting, to properly convey what you want the viewer to see. Otherwise you are stuck painting with very unvarying plain colours, without texture or space or intensity to aid you.).

It seems to me almost that you want people to see you at your most abrasive so that if they can't handle you, you know from the outset. It's a milder form of people who are misanthropic rejecting people before they can be rejected. I think instead, if you assume that people can handle you at your most, then it makes sense to yard out both the bluntness and the tenderness at appropriate increments according to your level of acquaintance. Perhaps that is just the NFJ in me talking, but I don't know why the other would be "presenting a front". While you may censor your thoughts less with someone you know well, it doesn't mean that you don't adjust your behaviour at all for the various other people in your life to some extent. Online, you even relate slightly differently depending whom you are talking to on the forum. This seems to me like it is only an extension of that rather than a grand deception.
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
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Apr 3, 2009
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1: I tend not to like "nice" people. Maybe because "nice" people are not always that "nice" to me. They hide their anger, frustration and real personality behind that "nice" mask and whenever I do something wrong that "nice" mask falls off. Then they are the people who make the biggest drama (most of the time) and start screaming and yelling and crying. A lot of people also tend to see that side of their personality as "nice", but I don't like that. I like people who are open about their thoughts. Not those people who try to be "nice" all the time and then burst out into tears when I arrive at school too late.

2: People who don't always say things at the bad moment. Most people I know say the bad things at the bad moment all the time. For example, when I heard that my mother wanted to divorce my father (that was a few years ago), I got emotional. So I tell others what's going on. What happens? Only one girl says something about that: "Oh my god, that is so great! Yeah, my parents got divorced a few years ago. That's like so awesome! I mean, you should be happy that your mother wants to divorce, because it's so much fun. Seriously. It is. When I grow up, I want to become a lawyer, so that many other people can go and get divorced as well." She said it without any sarcasm. I never ever took that girl seriously again. But, of course, there are many, many other people around here who don't have any social skills either. So they all say the wrong things at the wrong time. I like those rare people who have social skills.

3: People who give me great advices and who say very wise things that I'll remind for the rest of my life. People who influenced my life in a positive way by telling me useful things tha can be applied in many ways. For example: that kid who told me to "Just do whatever you want to do". That kid really changed my life for the better.

4: People with an amazing sense of humor.
 

6.4

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INTJ
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For me what makes me not like a person is when I class them as selfish. If someone acts and speaks in such way that seems that number 1 comes first, I don't get close to them and try to avoid dealing with them.
 

wildcat

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Jun 8, 2007
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3,622
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INTP
What makes a person likeable?
Is there a core trait? Openness?
Is it a set of traits? If so, what are they?

What do you think?
Easy beans.

LIKE

similar
resembling
analogous
allied
parallel
cognate
close

NOT LIKE

different
far away
dissimilar
not resembling
YOU

of Anglo Saxon lician to please < to suit, to match
< to be like
YOU

Gothic leikan, to please
< to suit, to match <to be like
YOU

Swedish likna, to match
< lik, close; near
YOU

Scandinavian loan in Finnish: liki-
liki-näkö < myopia, close-eyedness

Middle English lich, a corpse
< a body < samelike, like
YOU

German Leiche, body < samelike
original meaning: form, shape, look, a likeness to
YOU


A form is a likeness.
The idea of form is recognition. A re-cognition: again-knowing.
Again is an idea of what was before, a match, a likeness, a closeness to what was already.
What was already?
YOU were.


You like people to whom YOU bear a resemblance, a closeness, a likeness of
form and shape.
 
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