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A survey of dark moods: Attraction, preference and tolerance to them.

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. 1- I pretty much never think about success. I just want to be happy. If money comes with that, fine. Money won't make me happy, exploring the world and making bonds with people will. I just so happen to need money for that. As for being able to solve problems, I'm a very good problem solver, but I figured that I misinterpreted what the second part was saying and stuck with being success oriented.
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. 3- I'm going through a phase of change in my life at the moment, so yes I'm looking to improve things. But it's not too major. I'm just getting signed up for training to get certified in the profession that I want to do (mediation), and getting a job writing. I'm also swapping schools.
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. 1- I don't think of other people's problems unless they are close to me, and in that case they are usually taken serious.
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. 5- Of course.
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. 1- No, if you aren't satisfied with your life, then change it. I see no reason behind letting life bring you down. If you know that it is, change it.
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. 1- Uh, what things?
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. 5- Well yeah, everyone deserves common respect. But I don't think I'm any more special than anyone else.
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. 3- It varies
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. 5- If it's a good mood, then I won't complain.
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. 4- I generally agree with this, that if I had problems I would appreciate my lover to give me some advice. But I wouldn't want to dump everything terrible in my life on my lover, since I like to deal with my own shit on my own.
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. 5
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. 5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. 3- Too broad of a question.
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. 1- Too subjective. You'd be a very closed minded person to think that EVERY SINGLE happy person was depthless.
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. 2- I prefer not to hear about depressing things.
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. 1
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. 4- Generally yes, since I consider myself a social chameleon. Not so much with the crying though.
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. 3- Too subjective. Some may seem like they shouldn't even be problems, some are legitimate problems.
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. 1
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. 5
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. 2
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. 4
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. 5- Absolutely
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. 1
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. 3- It depends
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. 2- I can change my moods, I'm not controlled by them.
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. 5
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. 4
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. 1
 

Take Five

Supreme Allied Commander
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
925
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. 5
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. 5
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. 1
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. 4
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. 2
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. 1
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. 5
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. 2
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. 5
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. 5
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. 3
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. 5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. 2
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. 3
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. 4
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. 1
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. 1
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. 5
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. 1
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. 3
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. 2
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. 1
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. 5
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. 1
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. 2
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. 3
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. 4
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. 5
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. 2
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. 3 - only when I'm dealing with professional and school-related stuff. Not 24/7
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. 3 - not urgently
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. 1 - sounds rude
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. 3 - only if they feel like it, but if they do, definitely
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. 1
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. 1
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. 5 - hell, I'm an awesome human being
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. - 2 I don't like dark topics
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. - 5
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. - 2 no I don't want to burden people with my stuff, thankfully I don't usually have anything to say
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. - 5 definitely. but sometimes they can choose not to care
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. - 3
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. - 1
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. - 1
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. - 1
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. - 1 no but it is more difficult to interact with really happy people
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. - 1
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. - 1
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. - 1
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. - 4
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. - 1
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. - 4 well no there are also rainy days, I am more...neutral-mooded there
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. - 1 not really good at this...
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. - 1
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. - 2 I believe the first part is true, but not the second
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. - 1
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. - 3
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. - 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. - 4
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. - 1
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
How much do you agree to each the following statements?
1: Strongly disagree
2: Somewhat disagree
3: Neither agree or disagree
4: Somewhat agree
5: Strongly agree

I can't answer these things anymore but I'll try.

Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. OK, sure.
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. Strongly agree
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. Somewhat agree. I'm a bit strict as to what people define as a "problem." More nuanced answer below at 14.
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. If it's one I enjoy then support your local euphoric state.
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. Strongly disagree. I like being alive.
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. Agree.
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. Sure, why not.
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. Not at all.
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. Misery loves company! :hug: Depends on who the company is.
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. Strongly agree.
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. Strongly agree. I think that makes your message more efficient. It doesn't necessarily contain itself to mushy wushy feelings.
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. Agree.
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. Disagree.
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. Awww, man now I'm gonna have to be an ass. I'm going to say yes with caveats. I think some people can't tell the difference between a happy facade and happy. Happiness comes from within but can be manifested externally. For an outsider to say someone is happy, I'd have to make a lot of presumptions about someone else's internal. Since I'm totally comfortable doing that, let's get to judging!

To me you can tell when you start talking about those "dark" and "depressive" topics who those are who have experienced these sides of life because the look of knowledge and shadows temporarily darken their eyes. It's the way they talk about that topic, you can tell how much thought has been devoted to it or it reverberating through them. I really connect with that.

For example, this week some of my coworkers and I were talking about adoption and the conversation veered into the life some kids lead in orphanages, foster care, or as wards of the state. There were two people who outright said "I don't want to talk about this, it's depressing." OK, I could look at it as the subject may have been too raw for them because of personal experience. Knowing these people and having an idea of their habits and patterns, some biographical info, and how they've responded before when conversations get more serious in tone, I really doubt it was because of overwhelming emotional identification. But for the most part, I would say these a pretty light-hearted people that seem happy.

It seems to me that these "happier" people tend to be of the variety that don't let you talk about Life in 360 (the good and the bad), they tend keep it at a narrower bandwidth because they don't want to dampen their happiness. Which is cool, I've got no problem with that, but it does strike me as shallow. When I do my little experiments to see how open a person is to talking about impersonal darker topics, these people tend to shy away. I also realize that I may not be privy to when they do delve, so my assessment can be offbase, but I'm sticking with it until other information presents itself. :D

Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. Yah, see above, but I like to come up for air and if someone is consistently a Debbie Downer I begin to avoid them because they're contaminating me. So it depends on frequency.
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. Strongly disagree. But let's be honest here, I think (or strongly hope) that most people would realize this. Many people say one thing and expect another though.
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. For the most part yes.
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. LOL, I'm a hardass, so I agree. I see personal problems along a continuum. I just can't see how someone losing their home to foreclosure, losing their job, and then losing their mind is equally as important as a boyfriend not returning a gotdamn text message.
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. I don't know, sometimes you just go through a period in life where you never catch a break. This colors your thinking and if it happens long enough can change your world view and becomes self-fulfilling. There's got to be some sunshine through the clouds to give you the strength to keep going.
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. I have no clue how to answer this, which is probably an answer itself.
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. Agree.
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. This ties into my answer for Q14. From my perspective, being happy is tied to my situation and circumstance. My mood tends to lighten when my situation lightens.
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. If it's not anything particularly close to me then it's not a problem. Somethings are too close to my heart to just pound through and git-r-dun.
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. Interesting question, I faced this earlier this year when my mother had the strokes. I had to give my job enough information to justify why I was out from work for three weeks, but people keep pressing to know what was going on outside of the "official statement" I'd already given. I felt like I was being forced to spill. I also realize some of this was genuine concern and some of it was outright nosiness. Since I'm not an rude person, I had to figure out a script to tell people that satisfied my need for privacy but assuaged their concern/nosiness. Sometimes people don't understand or respect "I don't want to talk about it."
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. Agree.
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. I don't know, I don't have a good internal thermometer. I know what I feel, I'm not afraid of my feelings or the feelings of others, but I'm not good at measuring the level of intensity of my feelings.
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. LOL! To some people yes, to others no.
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. I hope not but who knows.
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. IDK, I could stand to change some of my ways and I kind of appreciate nudging when I need to get my act right. I don't mind someone who can visualize a better me, but this is a double-edged sword.
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. Yes, in the sense that I have an excellent support network of people who care around me and I'm there for them as well.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I really enjoy your questions .. :D

As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. 4

As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life.3

I often joke about other people's problems. 2

People should support the good mood in a group.4

Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. 2

I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me.3
I try and find the silver lining.

I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. 5

I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. 3

I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems.3
I usually deal with my problems myself .. Unless major

If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. 5 In an ideal world yeah but people have their own problems

People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. 4

If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect.5 Hell yeah

I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about.1

Happy people don't seem to have any depth.1

I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas.2

If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. 1

I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. 5

Some people's personal problems are a joke. 3

Things often turn out bad in my life.2
Not bad just testing .. I suppose that makes life interesting, lol

As a general rule, I'm a happy person. 5

Depressive thoughts are always with me. 2

Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time.4

I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. 5

If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. 3 Depends

My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. 2

I live through my moods very intensively. 4

I'm easy to get along with. 4

I'm such a burden to other people. 2

Take me as I am, or leave me be.5

Other people are there to help me with my problems. 3
 

PoprocksAndCoke

A Benign Tumor
Joined
Nov 7, 2009
Messages
614
MBTI Type
ENTP
Awww, man now I'm gonna have to be an ass. I'm going to say yes with caveats. I think some people can't tell the difference between a happy facade and happy. Happiness comes from within but can be manifested externally. For an outsider to say someone is happy, I'd have to make a lot of presumptions about someone else's internal. Since I'm totally comfortable doing that, let's get to judging!

To me you can tell when you start talking about those "dark" and "depressive" topics who those are who have experienced these sides of life because the look of knowledge and shadows temporarily darken their eyes. It's the way they talk about that topic, you can tell how much thought has been devoted to it or it reverberating through them. I really connect with that.

For example, this week some of my coworkers and I were talking about adoption and the conversation veered into the life some kids lead in orphanages, foster care, or as wards of the state. There were two people who outright said "I don't want to talk about this, it's depressing." OK, I could look at it as the subject may have been too raw for them because of personal experience. Knowing these people and having an idea of their habits and patterns, some biographical info, and how they've responded before when conversations get more serious in tone, I really doubt it was because of overwhelming emotional identification. But for the most part, I would say these a pretty light-hearted people that seem happy.

It seems to me that these "happier" people tend to be of the variety that don't let you talk about Life in 360 (the good and the bad), they tend keep it at a narrower bandwidth because they don't want to dampen their happiness. Which is cool, I've got no problem with that, but it does strike me as shallow. When I do my little experiments to see how open a person is to talking about impersonal darker topics, these people tend to shy away. I also realize that I may not be privy to when they do delve, so my assessment can be offbase, but I'm sticking with it until other information presents itself. :D

I'm not like that at all. I'll initiate conversation about dark topics, because they tend to be the more important ones. I like to look at all aspects of life, and take the bad parts and the good parts. To me, the better books are the well written, depressing ones, because they actually make you feel something. But I think both pessimism and optimism can be shallow, because a lot of the time optimists will only see the good parts, or pessimists will only see the bad parts. And so both look down on each other.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Idiotic, proteanmix, that's the right word - not "ass".
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Idiotic, proteanmix, that's the right word - not "ass".

Why's that? I most certainly hedged my statement with caveats. I find that there's a brand of "happy" people out there who are happy because of sheer obliviousness and willful ignorance towards things that could make them unhappy. They live in their own little happy bubble and ignore anything that would change it. To me that's shallow and just as self-absorbed as the Eeyore's of the world.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Why's that? I most certainly hedged my statement with caveats. I find that there's a brand of "happy" people out there who are happy because of sheer obliviousness and willful ignorance towards things that could make them unhappy. They live in their own little happy bubble and ignore anything that would change it. To me that's shallow and just as self-absorbed as the Eeyore's of the world.

Or maybe these happy people although aware of what can cause them unhappiness, choose to view life as a challenge that won't beat them. That is not to say they won't be unhappy at times, it is an emotion afterall .. It is down to the individual's perspective on life as to how they deal with the unhappy times.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems.4
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life.5
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems.2
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group.5
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it.1
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me.2
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall.5
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics.2
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems.1
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort.5
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say.5
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect.5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about.1
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth.1
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas.2
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood.1
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh.4
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke.3
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life.1
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person.5
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me.2
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time.4
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important.4
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone.2
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it.2
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively.1
Q27. I'm easy to get along with.1
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people.5
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be.4
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. 3

shit...i kept getting confused
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Or maybe these happy people although aware of what can cause them unhappiness, choose to view life as a challenge that won't beat them. That is not to say they won't be unhappy at times, it is an emotion afterall .. It is down to the individual's perspective on life as to how they deal with the unhappy times.

Wow, did I not give the right answer to this question? That is hilarious.

If you go back and read what I posted, you'll see that I acknowledged the nebulous nature of an outside perspective of happiness, i.e. Poor Little Rich Girl. I acknowledge that you often can't tell; some people seem like little balls of sunshine externally, but they're dying inside. Some people look like Frankenstein outside but they're happy as a lark internally. Because of this, I included how I distinguish people who seem to be happy. One of my ways for doing this is by noticing how willing and how a person talks about these dark moods. Isn't this what the thread is about? I think it's curious that when I get "dark" about happiness there's an unwillingness to go there. Is there a such thing as the downside of up?

I'm not talking about being a resilient person and bouncing back when life get's ugly, that's an admirable trait. I'm referring specifically to those happy people who are almost bobbleheaded in their happiness. If one of these "happy" people consistently blows off talking about darker topics, then yes I think it's shallow. The financial crisis example of people blowing it off, whenever it comes up in conversation. I've been around people that say "Let's not talk about this!" and there never seems to be a good time talk talk about more substantial things. I also said that I may not be around them when they do and I may not have the complete picture.

This is not some minority or thin slice of happy people, although I never implied it was the majority either. I encountered a lot of this in college, but I suppose it's to be expected with younger people because they haven't experienced much. Now when I encounter it, it strikes me as willful ignorance towards life's unpleasantness. I believe this is called staying in one's ivory tower is it not? Evidently it happens often enough for there to be a sociological term to describe it.
 

PoprocksAndCoke

A Benign Tumor
Joined
Nov 7, 2009
Messages
614
MBTI Type
ENTP
Wow, did I not give the right answer to this question? That is hilarious.

If you go back and read what I posted, you'll see that I acknowledged the nebulous nature of an outside perspective of happiness, i.e. Poor Little Rich Girl. I acknowledge that you often can't tell; some people seem like little balls of sunshine externally, but they're dying inside. Some people look like Frankenstein outside but they're happy as a lark internally. Because of this, I included how I distinguish people who seem to be happy. One of my ways for doing this is by noticing how willing and how a person talks about these dark moods. Isn't this what the thread is about? I think it's curious that when I get "dark" about happiness there's an unwillingness to go there. Is there a such thing as the downside of up?

I'm not talking about being a resilient person and bouncing back when life get's ugly, that's an admirable trait. I'm referring specifically to those happy people who are almost bobbleheaded in their happiness. If one of these "happy" people consistently blows off talking about darker topics, then yes I think it's shallow. The financial crisis example of people blowing it off, whenever it comes up in conversation. I've been around people that say "Let's not talk about this!" and there never seems to be a good time talk talk about more substantial things. I also said that I may not be around them when they do and I may not have the complete picture.

This is not some minority or thin slice of happy people, although I never implied it was the majority either. I encountered a lot of this in college, but I suppose it's to be expected with younger people because they haven't experienced much. Now when I encounter it, it strikes me as willful ignorance towards life's unpleasantness. I believe this is called staying in one's ivory tower is it not? Evidently it happens often enough for there to be a sociological term to describe it.

It's the people to whom "ignorance is bliss".
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,053
MBTI Type
E.T.
Enneagram
7w8
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. 5
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. 5, When things can be improved, then it should always be given a try.
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. 5
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. 4
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. 1
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. 2
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. 5
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. 5
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. 4
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. 2, I hate listening to problems, except when they're interesting, so I would rather not talk about my problems, except during PMS.
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. 4
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. 5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. 1, I just don't consider all the happy people to be really happy. Happiness takes more then 20 hot guys in a hot jacuzzi.
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. 2
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. 1
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. 1, Not the people that I care about. They should always be happy.
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. 2
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. 5, When I hate you, they are a joke.
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. 1, When you look at it objectively, things do turn out bad a lot, but I just don't FEEL that way.
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. 5
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. 2
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. 4, not only because of the easiness. I'm an optimist. Except when I have PMS. Then I'm TOO realistic.
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. 1
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. 1, People hate unhappy people. So you can better pretend being cheerful.
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. 3
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. 2
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. 3, Just if I like you.
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. 5
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. 1, I hate it when people try to help me. I only ask for help when really necessairy. And even then I feel guilty afterwards.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
So, we have here Proteanmix, who associates depth with being able to handle good stuff as well as the bad stuff. In the other corner, we have FDG, who dislikes the bad stuff, and possibly goes through a lot of trouble - and depth - to keep it away.

Am I on the right tracks in here?
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. -- 4
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. -- 5
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. -- 2
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. -- 3
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. -- 1
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. -- 2
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. -- 4
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. -- 3
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. -- 4
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. -- 3
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. -- 5
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. -- 5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. -- 1
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. -- 2
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. -- 3
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. -- 1
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. -- 3
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. -- 4
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. -- 2
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. -- 3
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. -- 2
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. -- 3
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. -- 4
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. -- 3
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. -- 2 (?)
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. -- 4
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. -- 4
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. -- 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. -- 3
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. -- 1
 

Eilonwy

Vulnerability
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
7,051
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. 5 My definition of success is broader than just money. If I achieve my goals or solve the problems, I consider myself successful.
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. 3 I got hung up on the words "urgently" and "lot". I'm always trying to improve myself, but not necessarily my lot in life. As long as I can get by I'm okay, but I'm not adverse to improving my position in life either.
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. 1
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. 4
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it. 3 The thought has crossed my mind at times, but I've been trying to figure out what in my thinking I can change so I can be content in spite of injustice.
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. 2
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. 5 You can leave off everything after the comma though.
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. 4
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems. 4
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. 4 As I would gladly do the same for them. And I would work at solving my problems so that I wouldn't become a big pain in the butt.
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. 5
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. 5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. 2
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth. 3 This is a question I've struggled with for a while. Sometimes ignorance would be bliss. I want to be happy, but I also want to be realistic. Are they mutually exclusive? I haven't figured that out yet.
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. 5
Q16. If I'm in a bad mood, everyone should be in a bad mood. 1 When I'm in a bad mood, what gets me out of it the fastest is feeling like I've been heard and understood. That doesn't mean agreed with, just heard and understood. If I'm not getting that, I leave until the mood passes, but for me the issue may or may not be resolved.
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. 4
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. 2
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life. 1 I have had some bad things happen but, overall, I feel that things have always worked out for me.
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. 3 I see myself as always in flux--sometimes happy, sometimes sad, mostly something in between.
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. 4 Not always.
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. 2 Not right at this moment.
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. 4 I have, but sometimes it's been very difficult to do.
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone. 2 If the bad thing is something that people should know about, such as abuse, then I think it should be put out there--more as a problem to be solved than just a complaint. Unfortunately, I've found that most people don't want to hear about that sort of thing or deal with it.
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it. 4
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. 5
Q27. I'm easy to get along with. 3 Some people think so and others don't.
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people. 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. 5
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. 2 I do have a couple of very good friends who are always there for me, but for the most part I've found that people have their own problems to deal with.
 
Last edited:

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Ok, what I got from these responses and my talk with the person said in OP, I found out this: We think the same in other respects, but I have easier time than her, more optimistic, having less ability to entertain depressive thoughts without ill effect, and I'm less interested to follow other people's moods.

So, my optimism was undoing my ability to dig in to people's feelings. Perhaps I thought that optimism is a better stance, my stance, so it should be maintained instead of something else. But, a person's depression may be an important mood for them, too - it may be the only mood they have at a time. So, I should be more understanding of different moods than one of my own.

When she realized I had less capability to withstand negative feelings, she understood she had almost made me collapse. I had looked so cheerful; she didn't think of my ability to tolerate depressive thoughts.

So we learned.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Q1. As a general rule, I'm always directed towards success and solving the problems. -5
Q2. As of right now, I'm urgently trying to improve my lot in life. - 4
Q3. I often joke about other people's problems. - 4
Q4. People should support the good mood in a group. - 3
Q5. Life is so unjust, I almost wish I wouldn't have to take part in it.- 1
Q6. I often get depressed from all those terrible things happening to me. - 1
Q7. I should be treated with dignity, because I'm a human being afterall. - 4
Q8. I don't get that depressed at all when discussing dark topics. - 5
Q9. I wouldn't want to spoil the mood by complaining about my problems.- 3
Q10. If someone loved me, they would listen to my problems and give me comfort. - 4
Q11. People should understand how they make others feel with what they say. - 3
Q12. If people want respect, they have to treat others with respect. - 5
Q13. I can't relate to most of the stuff that happy people talk about. - 1
Q14. Happy people don't seem to have any depth.- 1
Q15. I can tolerate, even enjoy, a lot of depressive ideas. - 3
Q16. If I'm on a bad mood, everyone should be on a bad mood. - 1
Q17. I cry with those who cry, and I laugh with those who laugh. - 3
Q18. Some people's personal problems are a joke. - 5
Q19. Things often turn out bad in my life.- 2
Q20. As a general rule, I'm a happy person. - 5
Q21. Depressive thoughts are always with me. - 1
Q22. Life is easy enough for me to have happy, carefree mood for the most time. - 2
Q23. I can put my feelings aside when I need to do something important. - 5
Q24. If bad enough things happen to me, I just spill it out and make it known to everyone.- 1
Q25. My mood is a result of things that have happened to me, and I can't help it.-
Q26. I live through my moods very intensively. - 1
Q27. I'm easy to get along with.- 4
Q28. I'm such a burden to other people.- 1
Q29. Take me as I am, or leave me be. - 4
Q30. Other people are there to help me with my problems. - 1
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Ok, what I got from these responses and my talk with the person said in OP, I found out this: We think the same in other respects, but I have easier time than her, more optimistic, having less ability to entertain depressive thoughts without ill effect, and I'm less interested to follow other people's moods.

So, my optimism was undoing my ability to dig in to people's feelings. Perhaps I thought that optimism is a better stance, my stance, so it should be maintained instead of something else. But, a person's depression may be an important mood for them, too - it may be the only mood they have at a time. So, I should be more understanding of different moods than one of my own.

When she realized I had less capability to withstand negative feelings, she understood she had almost made me collapse. I had looked so cheerful; she didn't think of my ability to tolerate depressive thoughts.

So we learned.

This is interesting. I wonder if being optimistic as a trait in some way keeps people from identifying with negative or darker moods within themselves and others. Like I said before, you can see when shadows of understanding enter someone's eyes and they can directly relate to what you've experienced.

I guess this is what I was getting at in my answers...that sometimes those "ignorance is bliss" people tend to gloss over or are dismissive of the sorrow of others, which to me can come across as shallow for reasons I've already explained.

A good balance between this would be to acknowledge the hurt a person has felt/feel, don't ignore it or run from it, allow them to feel it, then help them to move into a place where they see they have more options than what they believed they had before.
 
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