• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

On Social Anxiety

proximo

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
584
I don't think I'm worth it on one level, and on another level, I'm more comfortable having no friends. That's my choice, and I'll have to take the consequences for it.

Literally, none at all? Not a single person in your life who loves or cares about you?

If there is even just one, then think how insulting your attitude is to them, though doubtless you don't mean it to be or realise that it is. Just a thought.
 

Polaris

AKA Nunki
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Messages
2,529
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Literally, none at all? Not a single person in your life who loves or cares about you?

If there is even just one, then think how insulting your attitude is to them, though doubtless you don't mean it to be or realise that it is. Just a thought.
I'm exaggerating slightly when I say I have no friends. I have a few family members with whom I share warm, if shallow connections. I also have a couple of online friends . . . whom I talk to about once every two months, because I never have anything to discuss.

This is where I am, and I'm here because I put myself here. I didn't have to, nor does anyone else.
 

proximo

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
584
I often hear people saying that, who are actually loved and understood by more people than they realise. Maybe if they focused externally from time to time, rather than on their own "inner pain", then they might notice it ;)

Obviously, since I don't know you, I don't know whether that applies to you, and you'd probably say it doesn't anyway. But it's just something I notice happening a lot. Like a guy I know who believes himself to be "alone in the world", who went to hospital recently and was shocked to find out that several different people visited him, every day, and rallied to support him. Didn't stop him retreating back into his "world of pain" again though, within a couple of weeks of coming out of hospital :rolleyes:
 

krunchtime

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
96
Interesting choice of words .. So which is it? Might or will!!!

People who have someone's best interests at heart do so as a selfless act.

If i sympathise/empathise with a situation brought to my attention, as a friend i will help you to the best of my ability. If that means you become a better person and we are no longer have as much in common .. Then i bid you farewell and wish you the best of luck in your future .. What kind of friend would want to hold someone back? :huh:

Hmmmm.

If the first is true, the second will also be true, hence, might then will (I used it quite unconciously though).

The mentality might attract either sympathy or meaness. Subject goes from feeling wounded/ rejected to feeling validated/ soothed - the contrast feels good - which would reinforce his insecurity, but intepreted as evidence of the ideal friendship. The mentality will be self-reinforcing and hard to get rid of, even by well-intentioned, sympathetic friends.

@saslou: NP, not sure if this is entirely right but from personal experience, the thought process can develop along those lines.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
If the first is true, the second will also be true, hence, might then will (I used it quite unconciously though).

The mentality might attract either sympathy or meaness. Subject goes from feeling wounded/ rejected to feeling validated/ soothed - the contrast feels good - which would reinforce his insecurity, but intepreted as evidence of the ideal friendship. The mentality will be self-reinforcing and hard to get rid of, even by well-intentioned, sympathetic friends.

OK .. Well thank you for explaining that.
 
Top