Have you ever known someone who committed suicide?

[Sniffles]

Yes, in fact this is the anniversary of his death.

 

[Polaris]

I'm no stranger to the experience of someone killing themselves. Without going too much into detail, someone with whom I was in love "committed suicide" about four years ago. I can't even begin to tell you what a devastating experience that was. For the first two days, I did nothing but soak my pillow in tears. Several times, I nearly passed out from hunger, and what sleep I got was ridden with nightmares about murder, disappearances, and horrors that I won't speak of. What followed was a frenzied obsession on my part that went on for many weeks, weeks that have changed me forever, I think. And then this person turned up alive; I talked to him a few times more; and I never saw him again.

 

[WoodsWoman]

I had a three year elder cousin commit suicide. He was the big brother I didn't have - then he was gone. He was 21.

There are others I have known about or known in a very general way.

 

[Winds of Thor]

Yes.

A really good friend of mine. We rode/cycled all Summer long my last year in college. We took vacations with he and his wife and two daughters. Almost every other day we did something together. He told me his wife was cheating on him with a neighbor. They were. I saw them together.

I think he couldn't stand the pain.

The man she had been cheating with was evil. We were riding bicycles one day and he got in a truck and followed us. Then attempted to run my friend off the road. I think the only thing stopping him from doing it was the fact that he prolly knew my father would have done some serious damage to him if he had hurt me. No mercy style.

Sad. Brutal. The man lived two houses from my friend. He had to drive by his house to get home and leave.
Humiliating.

My friend's type: INFP
The evil man's type: ESTP
My former friend's wife: ESFP

He wasn't supposed to do that.

No matter how bad things seem, NOTHING is worthy taking your life over. NOTHING!

There are people in worse situations than you. There ARE.

 

[Athenian200]

Well, I used to know a couple, but they died. I wasn't particularly close to them, though, and I had to fake tears when they died so people wouldn't think I was heartless (though I almost blew my cover when I tried to turn the class discussion back to Newton's Three Laws). I also have no idea why they wanted to kill themselves.

I guess their lives sucked, they had pride and ambition, and they felt had no hope. I think all three elements are necessary... a strong will to become better, a bad life, and no hope. If you have no particular desire for life or yourself to be a certain way, you can pretty much take whatever it throws at you (flexibility). If you can find comfort in your present life, you can take the failure (comfort). If you have hope, you can ride it out (opportunity). But if you lack all three? Yeah, you're going to kill yourself.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

There are people in worse situations than you. There ARE.

Its true...even after what I did, I've come to the point in my life, where I realise that suicide is a selfish act. You worries about yourself and the only thing on your mind is you and YOUR problems. Even I know that there are times where you just wanna be so selfish in all that because we feel we have a right...but from what I've learned, when you take the the view off of yourself and put it on others, you start to view life differently. Thats deffinatley one of the things that pulled me out of my major depression and suicidal thoughts. It was a process but I did it. I cant say that everyone once in a blue moon when I'm really upset I dont ever get tempted to cut myself or anything...it does happen. But the moment I feel so upset that I'd want to harm myself I've made it a point to go somewhere where there are other people. The moment your alone and allow these thoughts to fester, the more likely it is that , in your head, you'll make it sound ok to just harm yourself. Its not ok. I've had to learn the hard way.

 

[entropie]

I havent knew any other person no and I am sorry for anyone who had to went through that. Cause at last the others are the ones who suffer the most.

 

[Totenkindly]

Its true...even after what I did, I've come to the point I've now come to in my life, I realise that suicide is a selfish act. Your worries about yourself and the only think on your mind is you and YOUR problems.

Wow.

If that's the case, I think it's just as selfish for other people to expect a person to continue living just so that they won't have to deal with the loss... and meanwhile continue on in their merry little lives without taking some responsibility to help that person work through the issues.

Some people do act selfishly in killing themselves, without considering others. In my situation, I was miserable because I was already living for others to be happy and not taking care of my own needs at the least ... for one because I did not want to be "selfish."

I'd really be careful throwing words like "selfish" around in such a general sense.

 

[Charmed Justice]

Two.

The anniversary of one of my friend's deaths is coming up in a few weeks. He had just graduated from graduate school and was about to get married in the coming months when he shot himself in the head. He was always this quiet, laid back guy. He was so quirky and funny. Sweet. He had a really hard time after his father unexpectedly died one night coming home from work. One of the family horses got free and was in the road and he didn't see the horse, hit him, and he died on impact. It's still hard for me to believe that he's gone. My guess is that he was an INTJ.

My other friend died in a DUI, but it's more than likely that he intentionally killed himself. His family deemed his death a suicide. He had talked about killing himself previously, got into a big argument with some friends at a bar, drove off at regular speed, but the approached a long country road leading to his house at 115mph, ultimately flipping his truck. His death really hit me hard. Still does actually. We were friends our entire lives. He died a few years ago. I think he was an ISFP.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Wow.

If that's the case, I think it's just as selfish for other people to expect a person to continue living just so that they won't have to deal with the loss... and meanwhile continue on in their merry little lives without taking some responsibility to help that person work through the issues.

Some people do act selfishly in killing themselves, without considering others. In my situation, I was miserable because I was already living for others to be happy and not taking care of my own needs at the least ... for one because I did not want to be "selfish."

I'd really be careful throwing words like "selfish" around in such a general sense.

I don't mean to offend, I'm only sharing my experience with my situation with myself. How I realised I was being selfish and not thinking about others. How the only thing running through my head was me and how I'd be done wrong. I'm not talking about anyone else, I'm talking about me.

I do not want to offend I understand all of that. I just hope you understand I wasn't trying to say that people are selfish. I was just trying to say I was selfish.

 

[Athenian200]

I don't mean to offend, I'm only sharing my experience with my situation with myself. How I realised I was being selfish and not thinking about others. How the only thing running through my head was me and how I'd be done wrong. I'm not talking about anyone else, I'm talking about me.

That's ironic.

A self-centered experience and expression regarding the value of selflessness.

 

[WoodsWoman]

Sometimes irony is life - or is it that life is ironic?

 

[Spamtar]

It is a selfish act. It greatly hurts those who one leaves behind. I am against the government telling us we have to live longer biologically then we would normally be without technological intervention, yet find human life is sacred. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. A friend of mine still has nightmares/and probably fucked up his life after discovering his mother after she hung herself.

 

[cascadeco]

I don't know of anyone who has committed suicide; however, my brother was suicidal about 10 years ago and as a result was in a hospital/psych facility for about 6-7 weeks.

If there aren't just some irrational influences (drugs, booze, etc.) at work, it's usually the culmination of feeling out of control of one's life and that any attempts to change matters is hopeless.

Although my brother never really opened up about the exact reasons, I could see him feeling ultimately out of control, and hopeless, as being possibilities. He's INTP, and was diagnosed at the time with chronic depression as well as generalized anxiety. There may have been a few other things, but he hasn't ever elaborated. In any event, while we were growing up we were always close, but he did seem a bit 'off' in some ways. I think his troubles began in elementary school, and by junior high my parents actually received a phone call from the school because a teacher was worried about a poem/story he'd written. By high school I think he'd decided to put on a chipper face and all of that, but a week or so prior to when he was supposed to go to college was when he became suicidal. I think it was probably a culmination of many years-worth of stuff, combined with the fact that he probably felt obligated to go to college, when he might not have wanted to and it likely panicked him.

 

[krunchtime]

Wow.

If that's the case, I think it's just as selfish for other people to expect a person to continue living just so that they won't have to deal with the loss... and meanwhile continue on in their merry little lives without taking some responsibility to help that person work through the issues.

Some people do act selfishly in killing themselves, without considering others. In my situation, I was miserable because I was already living for others to be happy and not taking care of my own needs at the least ... for one because I did not want to be "selfish."

I'd really be careful throwing words like "selfish" around in such a general sense.

That's true. It can be selfish both ways, depending on the psychological state of the person(s) involved. It might be selfish of people to expect an unhappy person to continue living, without acknowledging the root cause of their unhappiness, based on the simple assumption that life=good, death=bad. It can also be selfish for the unhappy person to choose death as a solution, leaving all the emotional bagagge behind, without closure or resolution. The commonality is that both denies, rather than address and/or resolve the issues or problems.

 

[souffle]

My father, an ESxP. Happened 2 years ago. I hadn't seen him for about three years when it happened, but I know that he was strongly affected by depression and mental health problems. He was 50, he'd been going through some tough times- had been beaten up and threatened by some gang a while before, and was really poor and often out of a home, because of his own gambling addiction. I believe he was suffering alot for the last few years of his life, so comforted myself that at least he wasn't suffering anymore. It was just a shame that I never got to develop a relationship with him as an adult though. And the fact that I hadn't seen him for years, and felt no real affection for him, made me feel really empty when he died. I wish that I could have loved him deeply, and been devastated when it happened. His suicide affected me by denying me the relationship I could have developed with him, and preventing the grief I could have felt when he did die later. When I grieved, I grieved for what could have been, rather than what was.

 

[paperoceans]

Yes, he had clinical depression.

 

[BlackCat]

I almost did. But I stopped her, and she feels sort of indebted to me. We were 14 and she's an INFJ. She said it was a relief to her later that she didn't do it.

 

[TickTock]

I sometimes think about helping people who are going through deep depression. Maybe a website would be the best medium. I want to do that. I've got scraps that I've collected over the years, from varying sources. I want to piece it together and if I do compile it all together and see that it could maybe save some people or guide them away, then I'd do it. I've no idea how to make a website, but I wouldn't want to write a book or make profit. I'd want it free and available. At the moment I dont think there is enough useful and available information.

 

[Mole]

Vasco

What is your understanding of why they did it?

Yes, my friend committed suicide and left a sixteen page suicide note.

He was a special friend to me and we would stay up at night discussing philosophy. And as I read his suicide note it was as though we were together again under a cold moon that always led to a sunny day. But he left the sunny day to me.

He did a very good job. He flew down to Tasmania to say goodbye to his mother. Then he rented a room in an expensive hotel in Canberra. Considerately left a note on the door advising the staff not to enter but to call the police. Then he got into a warm bath, took a strong sedative, and put a plastic bag over his head.

Reading his suicide note, really a document, in the Bakery as I had my morning coffee and croissant, it was as though we were having our usual late night philosophical discussion. At a logical level it all made sense. But only hurt the heart.

He was very sensitive about his middle name which he would never tell me. But the death notices told me it was Vasco. And I remember him every day on my way to the Bakery as I pass a Portuguese restaurant named, "Vasco's".