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Having a ranking of better and worse people

Orangey

Blah
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Jun 26, 2008
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6,354
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ESTP
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6w5
Wow people really think like this? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people I don't like and don't mesh well with, but I'd never say they were "below" me or "worse than" me. What the hell does that even mean? On what criteria can I base calling someone "lower" than myself, or lower than someone else? After all, even the type of person I dislike most will be "better" than me at something, or using some other type of scale. And if I recognize that the basis for the categorization scheme I'm using is completely subjective, then why would I keep using it? Why would I think that such a scheme is in any way useful?

People fall along a continuum of like/dislike for me at any given moment. Their positions are not fixed and may change with more information. The most I can say about someone in relation to someone else is that I like so and so better than so and so. Not that so and so is worse than so and so. I think that the language of being "better" or "worse" says more than any individual is warranted to say about any other individual without a whole bunch of qualifiers being attached that basically take away the force of the terms.
 

Salomé

meh
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Sep 25, 2008
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INTP
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I love INTPs. They are the bestest.
 

DiscoBiscuit

Meat Tornado
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I'm better to me, they're better to them.

No ones objectively better than anyone else.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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Aug 19, 2008
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I guess I understand the reasoning behind the OP, but I don't think I do this. I can pretty much relate to anyone and I don't like the idea of categorizing people. And also because I don't see anyone as being better or worse than me, but having less/more preparation, foresight, or what have you; which has nothing to do with them as a person. I do have people I gravitate towards based on personality, presence, etc, but I don't think I consciously categorize people as less than or more.

I love INTPs. They are the bestest.

:D
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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I think a lot of this is influenced by the T/F dichotomy.

Actually, Fe can really get into people categorizing and comparing, so in that sense, it would be related to Fe. I could see Te ranking people based on efficiency and tangible standards. In my case of not categorizing, I think it's the influence of N (and maybe utter lack of Te). Like Orangey said, this kind of ranking is completely subjective and in that sense, useless, and if you step back and look at it, you'll realize that. On what basis is a person actually less than or better than me?
 

King sns

New member
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Nov 4, 2008
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enfp
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sp/sx
I think a lot of this is influenced by the T/F dichotomy.

It could be an ENTJ tendency.

I've only been very close to two ENTJ's. One my ex-boyfriend. And one a lady I worked for. Both seemed to have the same view of "better and worse" people. I don't believe that they had a logical reason for thinking this way, it was just kind of an intrinsic idea that they had. They weren't mean people, they just believed that this was a valid way of categorizing people.

I argued with my boyfriend about this a lot. The arguments were difficult to have, because its not like he really had a use for this system, or a reason to believe this, it was just "a fact" as he put it. He even went so far to say that him and I were friends, (along with some others) only because we're "on a higher level" than everyone else.

He was in fact a very intelligent person, and I would always say, "For such a smart person, this seems to be a really narrow-minded view!" When there are so many more objective ways of classifying people. But, whatever. We agreed to disagree.

As far as the lady I worked for, I never dared to disagree with her ;).

I know that there are other types and different people who may feel this way, but these two stick out in my mind the most, since they were the most verbal about it.
 

DiscoBiscuit

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Fe is more conducive to being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. After which time its much more difficult to rate people.

Te lends itself to organizing systems for maximum efficiency. I merely judge others by what they can do for me that benefits me in a manifestly positive manner. This can be, helps me grow as a person, has unique insights which expand my understanding of things, is a better fighter than I am and teaches me new moves, understands a specific area of law better than I, makes me laugh, helps to relieve stress by hanging out with them, etc. etc.

Basically what I mean by better and worse is, that either, someone is worth spending my (precious) time on because pursuing a friendship (or relationship) with them manifestly benefits me in some way, or someone is not worth wasting my time on because doing so cannot benefit me in a meaningful way.

I understand that just because someone has nothing to offer me does not mean that they have nothing to offer.

I realize that I can maximize the happiness in my life, and secondarily, improve my academic and business performance by surrounding myself only with people that I (subjectively) judge to be worth my time.

This sounds fucked up, but that's how Te works sometimes.

Different strokes for different folks.

EDIT: you guys clearly have a better grasp of MBTI than I do, so it might have more to do with other functions. However, what I said still stands (regardless of what function or letter you blame it on).
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
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As you wish. But you seem to be the one complaining about it.

I'm unlikely to change my mind about this being a worse situation with a worse person for me to interact with. So since I've given you this piece of information got any practical helpful suggestions instead of criticism and the "I nevers!"? Have you successfully navigated a relationship with someone with mental health issues, especially when they're moody, act out, easily frustrated and angered, have poor emotional regulation, and bad at communicating? I'm all ears.

Wow people really think like this? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people I don't like and don't mesh well with, but I'd never say they were "below" me or "worse than" me. What the hell does that even mean? On what criteria can I base calling someone "lower" than myself, or lower than someone else? After all, even the type of person I dislike most will be "better" than me at something, or using some other type of scale. And if I recognize that the basis for the categorization scheme I'm using is completely subjective, then why would I keep using it? Why would I think that such a scheme is in any way useful?

People fall along a continuum of like/dislike for me at any given moment. Their positions are not fixed and may change with more information. The most I can say about someone in relation to someone else is that I like so and so better than so and so. Not that so and so is worse than so and so. I think that the language of being "better" or "worse" says more than any individual is warranted to say about any other individual without a whole bunch of qualifiers being attached that basically take away the force of the terms.

I don't understand anyone as saying they're better human beings than anyone else, in fact I see people putting qualifiers in their statements that they don't think that.

And I can think of a number of situations in which people think of themselves as "better than" another person. "Better than/worse than" can apply to oh I have a superior belief system, my country (which I am a citizen of and therefor share in this) has better economic and social policies, I have more progressive thoughts about such and such, I'm smarter than another person, I'm healthier than another person, I'm more well-rounded than another person. Damn we have a thread going on over here where someone basically confesses as much and it's supposedly a common NT problem (thinking they're smarter than everyone else), but more than that it's pretty much part and parcel of being human.

I think DiscoBiscuit explained it pretty well.
 

Saslou

New member
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Feb 1, 2009
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The concept of something being better than something else is retarded?

Please explain.

But everything is based on our opinions and life experiences. How biased is our opinion/thinking.

Ever see homeless people walking the streets looking like they have won the lottery and the man that has won the lottery and is so darn miserable.

Who would you define as being better, the person that has everything or the person as having nothing yet is so happy and content.

Does that make sense.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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Basically what I mean by better and worse is, that either, someone is worth spending my (precious) time on because pursuing a friendship (or relationship) with them manifestly benefits me in some way, or someone is not worth wasting my time on because doing so cannot benefit me in a meaningful way.

I understand that just because someone has nothing to offer me does not mean that they have nothing to offer.

I understand what you're saying about ranking people based on their skill set and what they bring to the table (and continuously shuffling based on that), although I don't personally do that either. But that's not what the OP was saying. The OP was judging the people themselves as being less than or more. Unless that is what you are saying too?
 

DiscoBiscuit

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But everything is based on our opinions and life experiences. How biased is our opinion/thinking.

Ever see homeless people walking the streets looking like they have won the lottery and the man that has won the lottery and is so darn miserable.

Who would you define as being better, the person that has everything or the person as having nothing yet is so happy and content.

Does that make sense.

I don't really judge people on what I see, and whatever judgment I do pass on people based solely on their appearance is quite malleable. If my initial assessment of someone is shown to be wrong, I revise it then and there.

I judge people by the words of their voice, and the actions of their bodies. More importantly, I judge people by how their words and actions affect me.

Edit: You are right LA, OP and I are covering two distinctly different types of judgment. I judge actions and words not people.
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
I judge actions and words not people.

People are their actions and words.
It's not unusual for them to contradict each other.

If someone tells people to go fuck themselves all the time,
but spends 3 hours helping a stranger find their lost dog, what is true of them?

Food for thought.
 

Salomé

meh
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I'm unlikely to change my mind about this being a worse situation with a worse person for me to interact with. So since I've given you this piece of information got any practical helpful suggestions instead of criticism and the "I nevers!"? Have you successfully navigated a relationship with someone with mental health issues, especially when they're moody, act out, easily frustrated and angered, have poor emotional regulation, and bad at communicating? I'm all ears.

You're asking ME for interpersonal advice? :rofl1:

I think this just comes down to a different mindset. I mostly have problems with E**Js trying to steam-roller over me. Like you, I would prefer not to have to deal with that either. But I see it as a mutual communication problem, rather than one person being superior to/worse than the other. They often have problems having their ideas challenged - they may find it personally threatening or even insulting. I have a problem with people getting overly emotional or loud and aggressive in response to my entirely impersonal approach. Perhaps being a rarer type and having to repeatedly deal with extroverted Judging types, one learns not to think of it so much as the other person's problem, and more as just an issue of compatibility. The advantage in having this attitude, is that one learns to compromise, and to choose one's battles.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
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Apr 23, 2007
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You're asking ME for interpersonal advice? :rofl1:

Wait! Are you admitting you have poor interpersonal skills or something? Now that's worthy of a :rofl1:

I think this just comes down to a different mindset. I mostly have problems with E**Js trying to steam-roller over me. Like you, I would prefer not to have to deal with that either. But I see it as a mutual communication problem, rather than one person being superior to/worse than the other. They often have problems having their ideas challenged - they may find it personally threatening or even insulting. I have a problem with people getting overly emotional or loud and aggressive in response to my entirely impersonal approach. Perhaps being a rarer type and having to repeatedly deal with extroverted Judging types, one learns not to think of it so much as the other person's problem, and more as just an issue of compatibility. The advantage in having this attitude, is that one learns to compromise, and to choose one's battles.

I don't have any problem with what you've said here, but I think you may have glossed over the fact that I said my boss is more more than likely a high-functioning autistic. My whole point was this is not "typical" miscommunication issues and hence my evaluation of the situation. I can deal with differences in communication styles, but when a person's thinking and communication is clouded by a developmental disability wouldn't you say that qualifies as extenuating circumstances that change the typical modes of communication?
 

DiscoBiscuit

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People are their actions and words.
It's not unusual for them to contradict each other.

If someone tells people to go fuck themselves all the time,
but spends 3 hours helping a stranger find their lost dog, what is true of them?

Food for thought.

That person is a douchebag. The evidence you provided shows a continuing pattern of douche behavior. This douchebag managed to be altruistic on one occasion. Still a douchebag.
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
Some people have no sense of humor. Lol.
How many people would actually tell everyone to go fuck themselves?
We need some new emoticons for sarcasm.

Although there was an INFP who told me not once, but twice, to go fuck myself.
Haha.
 
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