The Psychology of Group Bullying

[tinkerbell]

Victor thinks anyone who disagrees with him or his "cause," is a bully.
Victor thinks anyone who moves his posts or threads to the graveyard, is a bully.

It doesn't get any clearer than that.

Jag, I don't dissagree with you, but Victor is what I would call an outlier (and yes I see this as a group of people in any community)... someone who is opinionated expressed in a sometmes totally innapropriate way. They tend to atract people who argue with them (possible because they can be deliberately provocative) which can turn personal... Outliers typically hate rules and typically end up being banned or suspended for periods.

Of course Victor goes in the grave yard and moans about it, how can he be provocative behind what is a rather cleaverly curtain between the main part of the site. And of course it's his own fault, which he knows but he is entitled to moan about... so long as it's respectful. Of course no one likes to be told they are out of order but he knows perfectly well he has been over contensious etc... he does himself get personal at times which is bullying in my book... So not really much sympathy there...

Just as a side note, many outliers have astrolgically speaking an unaspected Uranus... makes them more rebellious in their environement... http://www.astrologywizard.com/learn_uaplanets.htm

 

[wildcat]

Hmm, I do not think I have ever been a victim of group female bullying. I would say my personality makes it very undesirable for a female, or anyone in general to bother me because I will retaliate and do what it takes to defend myself and prevent further conflict. Bullying I had in gradeschool was entirely by males, and it was not physical, but mental. Females did not communicate with me and the female friends I had did not start conflict with me. I notice that with female groups, females who associate with the group are attacked- especially if a female attempts to serenade a male that the female groups feel is their territory. I would almost insist that a great majority of female group bullying, if not all, is territorial and associated with the opposite sex ( or the sex that the female group is sexually interested in).

Yes.
Bullying is by necessity group bullying. Male bullying is territorial and chauvinistic, too.
Gender does not differentiate. It is differentiated already.

A bully is a coward.
Cowardice is projection.
It is therefore a coward has no center.

Victor is not a coward.
He is his own man.

To the coward, the center is outside of focus.
She is in the wrong.
Field is outside of the focus. Not the center.

 

[wildcat]

Jag, I don't dissagree with you, but Victor is what I would call an outlier (and yes I see this as a group of people in any community)... someone who is opinionated expressed in a sometmes totally innapropriate way. They tend to atract people who argue with them (possible because they can be deliberately provocative) which can turn personal... Outliers typically hate rules and typically end up being banned or suspended for periods.

Of course Victor goes in the grave yard and moans about it, how can he be provocative behind what is a rather cleaverly curtain between the main part of the site. And of course it's his own fault, which he knows but he is entitled to moan about... so long as it's respectful. Of course no one likes to be told they are out of order but he knows perfectly well he has been over contensious etc... he does himself get personal at times which is bullying in my book... So not really much sympathy there...

Just as a side note, many outliers have astrolgically speaking an unaspected Uranus... makes them more rebellious in their environement... http://www.astrologywizard.com/learn_uaplanets.htm

I do not think the original problem was about Victor.
It was not about the mods, either.

It is only your vanity.

 

[INA]

I thought style was a manner of engagement. Sorry, I misunderstood then.
I am in the woods. Cos I have no idea what you are talking about.
So it is not about figurative speech now, eh?

There is what you communicate (engagement) and how you communicate it (here, figurative or literal language).

Many people have raised the issue of figurative speech, blaming Victor. These people are in the plain wrong. This is what bullies do. They attack mercilessly the one who is different.

Many people have, but that was not in my comment with which you disagreed.

I see nothing wrong in Victor's manner of engagement. I am blind, blind.
Oh you worthy defenders of faith. Put me in the track again.

Can't say what faith is being defended here. Frankly, I'm not in this thread to convict or exonerate one side or the other; that's apparently your interest. If you and he have fruitful discussions that do not end in recriminations, then the "problem" is not one that applies to your relationship. When a poster, instead of engaging Victor on the topic at hand, jumps in with mere insults and flame questions - that's an ineffective engagement strategy. When Victor, instead of responding to reasonable questions that are on topic, starts complaining about the questioner and imputing bad motives to the questioner (perhaps because he doesn't like the question(er)) - that's an ineffective engagement strategy. So you have a discussion that's DOA.

Manner does not create engagement. Engagement creates a manner. It is called an art.
Pure and simple. Music, painting, ballet, sculpture and .. writing.
Yes, mylady. Writing, too. Cos journalism is an art form.

There are many ways to skin a wildcat, but in the end you're either skinning a cat or not. The journalist has many stories and a choice of ways to tell them.

Bullying is not a tool for the victim.

Maybe you are right about that visual impairment. That the "victim" can turn an act of bullying into a tool should be known by anyone aware of martyrdom.

 

[Jaguar]

I do not think the original problem was about Victor.
It was not about the mods, either.

It is only your vanity.

Tinkerbell's "vanity" is now the problem?
What a bunch of biased bullshit.

 

[tinkerbell]

Tinkerbell's "vanity" is now the problem?
What a bunch of biased bullshit.

Don't worry (and thank you), I think she is just protecting Victor... (in her own way)...

I was teasing Victor in all fairness because of his wide sweeping generalised and incorrect staments like "no university teaches this" (wen he means no university within a mile of his home) etc...

 

[slant]

Wait, this is thread is about Victor? I don't want to involve myself in this then because I thought it was about group bullying. I haven't been around here long enough to even know who Victor is

 

[Jaguar]

Don't worry (and thank you), I think she is just protecting Victor... (in her own way)...

I was teasing Victor in all fairness because of his wide sweeping generalised and incorrect staments like "no university teaches this" (wen he means no university within a mile of his home) etc...

She?
I thought wildcat was a guy just being "catty."

 

[tinkerbell]

She?
I thought wildcat was a guy just being "catty."

Sorry no offense ment, I am clueless about some folks gender.... They....

Slant this thread is not about Victor, we've go distracted n detail of the conversation form yesterday... go ahead and share you can help bring it back to the original topic

 

[Jaguar]

Sorry no offense ment, I am clueless about some folks gender.... They....

You mean you really don't know? Classic.
Okay what is wildcat's gender? Anyone know?
The last thing I need is someone accusing me of "bullying" a female cat.

 

[tinkerbell]

You mean you really don't know? Classic.
Okay what is wildcat's gender? Anyone know?
The last thing I need is someone accusing me of "bullying" a female cat.

Seriously, I thought they were female..

You've been here longer than I have and are probably more switched on about genders of people, I've probably been horribly offensive by thinking they are female....

 

[Fluffywolf]

Most of the times, someone thinking you are female is much less offensive than someone thinking you are male.

Unless it's about a male thinking you're a female that is sexually frustrated and wouldn't mind to be digitally tapping that. In which case, it's far better to be seen as male.

Can you believe that there's been people thinking I was female on several forums and other online places? I find it funny. (Clearly not so much on this forum as I've literally outspoken my gender quite thoroughly here. I suppose this is just that kind of forum.)

 

[tinkerbell]

Most of the times, someone thinking you are female is much less offensive than someone thinking you are male.

Unless it's about a male thinking you're a female that is sexually frustrated and wouldn't mind to be digitally tapping that. In which case, it's far better to be seen as male.

Can you believe that there's been people thinking I was female on several forums and other online places? I find it funny. (Clearly not so much on this forum as I've literally outspoken my gender quite thoroughly here. I suppose this is just that kind of forum.)

I guess that's true, I honestly didn't know....

You come over very much as a bloke so don't worry, but it is hard especally if the avatar is ambiguous and you having exchanged posts much....

 

[Jaguar]

Most of the times, someone thinking you are female is much less offensive than someone thinking you are male.

I shall obtain a vagina and be instantly less offensive.

 

[poppy]

I shall obtain a vagina and be instantly less offensive.

It's worth a try

 

[Totenkindly]

Can you believe that there's been people thinking I was female on several forums and other online places? I find it funny.

I think that was what I thought too (gotta admit, the username really leans in that direction), until I saw one of your pictures.

I shall obtain a vagina and be instantly less offensive.

Apparently it hasn't done ME an ounce of good... but good luck, don't forget to write!

 

[tinkerbell]

I shall obtain a vagina and be instantly less offensive.

Hmmm now ladies, he will need to be fully breifed on all aspects of maintenance... holliwood, brazilion or bikini, and all those lovely inspections...

 

[Keps Mnemnosyne]

So off topic....I blame the P's group bullying the J's.

I do like the idea of tinkerbell's suggestion for a list, I think however that people would be unlikely to read it, and there would be a few people calling every comment an attack bothering the moderators.

 

[Wonkavision]

I've seen people complain about you, which has seemed very un-nice thing to do, considering your personal, interesting and inoffensive posts. (Some of them may have been offensive, which may be OK too, but I haven't seen any).

You wrote beautifully about introverts blossoming if you cherish them, and if it was partly in joke or entirely honest, it was beautiful and thought-inspiring nonetheless.

You do write threads which aren't literal, but rather figurative, or playful with ideas, which seem to work very well for you to inspire discussion. I'm sad to realize that some might mistake that for "trolling" or something like that. In all honesty, that's being small-minded.

You get inordinate amount of complaints for no reason at all but being personal. I'd say it would have to stop - I wish it would. Have strength, Victor.

I agree with every word.

Santuu, thank you so much for posting this.