How are you being treated by men and women of different age (and why?)

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I've got an interest in this so I'd like to ask: how are you being treated by men and women of different age?

Men: 15-24

Men: 25-34

Men: 35-49

Women: 15-24

Women: 25-34

Women: 35-49

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Men: 15-24
They can be nervous of me, but act just nice. Few have problems with me. I think most put an effort to seem good, except if they're around 15 or so.

Men: 25-34
My age bracket. Behavior varies, we don't usually either mind each other, or we can talk alright. It's most situation-dependent in this age/sex group.

Men: 35-49
We get along well. Not all can have a word with me and relate, but we usually have respect for one another.

Women: 15-24
Many women of this age group are nervous of me, and there seems to be less of an attempt to get along. Some are fine with me, others more than okay, many try to show their contempt or dismissal for me.

Women: 25-35
We get along okay, tho I'm more conservative than many of them. Less of a polarization with "good" and "bad".

Women: 36-49
Again, good get-along-ism.

 

[FDG]

Men: 15-24

This is my age-range. I think sufficiently well? We joke around, there is some obvious camaraderie. The only problem is when they're really competitive, in that case I reply with equal competitivness, and it doesn't end up well.

Men: 25-34

On the upper limit of this age range, I get along with really well. They seem to have a wiser perspective about the world, but they're still open to new ideas. On the lower bound, I tend to have some little contrast, because many of them seem to be trying to adjust to the working world by trying to project a professional image, something that the people around 35 have already given up a bit.

Men: 35-49

I don't have a lot of contact with this range, except my father. I get along well with him, the others seem to ignore me mostly.

Women: 15-24

Lower bound: they ignore me. Upper bound (more similar to my age): I suppose I get along well with them no problem.

Women: 25-34

I don't have a lot of contact with this age bracket. From the brief glimpses I've had, though, there seem to be some problems at defining what are our respective social roles. Should they behave in a motherly fashion, or be on par? Still, this is the age most women tend to have kids, so they naturally treat me in a bit of a motherly fashion.

Women: 35-49[/QUOTE]

I think I don't get along that well with this group. They automatically assume I am irresponsible, it seems, just because of my age (strangely, older women don't do this).

 

[Lethe]

(Myself: INTJ Female. 20 years old.)

Men: 15-24
Easily, even with the immature ones. I typically end up fulfilling the sisterly, advice-giver role.

Men: 25-34
Effortlessly. Many of my friends fit into this category. It's very easy to start and carry on conversations with them.

Men: 35-49
Rarely have personal arguments with them. Our companionship isn't as deep as ones in the male 25-34 age bracket because we're focused on running our own lives.

Women: 15-24
Mixed bag. The younger they are, the more we get along. Sometimes the female social network gets in the way of a mutual understanding.

Women: 25-34
Usually. Most of my female friends are from the 28-35 age bracket.

Women: 35-49
A very mixed bag. I get along wonderfully with the women who are scientists, artists or musicians, but fail miserably with the ones who ascribe to the traditional soccer mother image. I've manage to insult them more times than I can remember. I hail from another planet, apparently.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I'd like to realize the why question in behavior. Mostly, what's with the young females? Do they feel liberation from oppression so much, they're seeing me as "the system" and something to be resisted?

I get why some younger men behaved oddly, tho it hasn't occurred in years to any significant degree. It's competition, and they resist having to adapt to the world.

Those women of the age 15-24 who've had trouble with me are most usually married. Could they be estimating men of my age for their value as a partner? I had trouble relating to women of my age any other way perhaps 5 years ago.

Of course it's much harder to gain acceptance as a potential partner than it is to be accepted as a decent human being.

 

[Lethe]

(Not the ordinary female, so my answers may be insufficient for your problem.)

I'm told (as I'm the last one to 'get' social patterns) that women are generally concerned about their personal safety around male strangers and it could play into their hesitancy in approaching you.

And how do you think you're acting towards them? What topics do you discuss? Thoughts expressed? Non-verbals?

*Edit: Just saw the fixed title. Will add the "whys" to my post later.

 

[INTJ123]

doesn't matter what age group, I am still treated as an intj. Depending on their type this treatment can be completely different.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Well, I meet people in many settings. In some of my jobs, I meet/ contact 100-200 people a day - usually research, or sales. Like in all stuff like that, women usually respond better.

These young women I thought about are spouses of my friends, or spouses of friends of friends. I've thought of them okay from the beginning, I've tried to get along with them.. I've invited them to my house along with my friends, tried to chat with them, tho I must say I haven't paid enough attention to them in the beginning. Ok. I haven't been interested of them apart of them being married to my friends.

Problem solved. I haven't been genuinely interested of them. Of course they notice it.

So, back to the questionaire

 

[Night]

Male, 28 years old / INTJ

Men: 15-24

Generally, I get along great with them. I used to teach high school kids, so I'm familiar with methods of social integration, as it applies to "speaking their language". (This just means that I tight roll my jeans, and wear high-tops.)

Men: 25-34

My age group. Get along great. I have a very distinctive ENTP vibe that grants me unfettered social access, unless they catch on that I'm really a complete nerd, and not the flip-cup champ that I claim to be.

Men: 35-49

Mostly think of them as workforce colleagues. Enjoyable discussion, when it's not centered on domestic fanfare (kids and the like). Never could relate much interest to other people's offspring.

Women: 15-24

Same as males in their age range.

Women: 25-34

Women are great. Fun to joke around with. This would be the demographic I'd prefer to date, were I not already married.

Women: 35-49

Work colleagues. Same as men in their age bracket - great conversation, sans kiddy chat.

 

[prplchknz]

Men: 15-24
Alright, I don't know most of the ones in this age group I get along with are gay. I guess the straight ones I do get along with are because they're dating one of my friends or an ex of a friend, but after they break up we rarely keep in contact

Men: 25-34
I get along with them fine, they give me advice about what to do after college, and I actually enjoy talking to them probably my favorite age group of males.

Men: 35-49
don't have much interaction with them but, it's not a huge deal

Women: 15-24
My age range, I tolerate them, and I do have a few friends, but most want very little to do with me, as I don't fit in with them, and I guess I'm a bit weird which scares them

Women: 25-34
alright not as well as I get along with the males of this age,

Women: 35-49
not much interaction with them, but I'm able to perform small talk just fine and have learned what to say to keep them happy, and in the end that's all that matters.

 

[Saslou]

Men: 15-24 - These are the people i probably get on along with the best.

Men: 25-34 - I think i am to immature/silly sometimes for them.

Men: 35-49 - Where are they??

Women: 15-24 - I get on well with the young crowd.

Women: 25-34 - I think they like and respect me.

Women: 35-49 - If we are on the same wavelength then brilliant.

 

[kiddykat]

Men: 15-24Generally ok. My baby cousins seem to like my sense of humor, I guess.. (oh- they're no longer babies- 4got!)

Men: 25-34- We get along pretty well..

Men: 35-49- I don't really get too close with guys in this age group (bc they tend to be married)..

Women: 15-24- I feel like a big sis to them irl.

Women: 25-34- We get along well. If we share the same sense of humor- we get along fantastic. I dig quirkiness.

Women: 35-49- I get along better with women who are much older than me for some reason. least those who are young at heart/still have that vivacious attitude about them, or all around sophisticated/nice.

 

[poppy]

(Female, 18)

Men: 15-24
Mostly not aware that I exist, with the exception of my male friends in this age range.

Men: 25-34
Again, mostly unaware that I exist.

Men: 35-49
I used to work at a chain deli, and guys in this age group were always super sweet to me.

Women: 15-24
Hit and miss.

Women: 25-34
We get along pretty well, actually, although they do treat me a little differently than their peers.

Women: 35-49
Seem to like me just fine, generally engage me in conversation like an equal.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Male, 20.

Men: 15-24
Distant. Perhaps polite, often just apathetic. I have no friends in this range.

Men: 25-34
For some reason pay a bit more attention to me than the younger ones, don't know why. Slightly friendlier terms. One friend in this range.

Men: 35-49
Usually friendly and more respectful than the other ones. Don't have friends in this group, but I lot of my professors have been in this category (and older), and my professors always seem to like me.

Women: 15-24
Nicer to me, have more interactive relationships, but still essentially as emotionally distant as the males. Big exception is that arguably my best friend is in this category.

Women: 25-34
Seem to like me more than an other category listed here. I have no clue why. Don't technically have any personal friends in this range, but a lot are very friendly with me and seemed to have the potential to be friends, if I spent more time. Almost seem to seek me out... but maybe I'm crazy.

Women: 35-49
Like the males equivalent, but nicer and closer. Sort of maternal. They seem amused with me somehow.

Analysis:

The older people get, the more they seem to like me, as an average.
Females are friendlier and more engaging with me.
Why? Well, I can't really tell what is going on in other peoples' heads. I can make some very rough guesses.

I am usually refered to as being "beyond my years", and I might have a maturity about me that is easy to talk to for older people, and may also seem like a pleasant relief from other people in my age range.

I am usually considered androgynous to feminine, and I'd say I'm a very unthreating person, including in a sexual way. All of this might be the reason I attract more friendlike attention from females.

 

[Morpeko]

I'm only including in-person experiences from around 18-24. Internet is too inconsistent and I don't know approximate ages for half of the people with whom I interact. If I count my experiences at my current age (22), that would be extremely limited since this has been the year of COVID, but at the same time, 15-24 would be too wide of a range for me because the treatment I received in high school were way too different from the treatment I receive now.

Men: 15-24

In every first impression, they're honestly quite terrifying. When I meet them or come across them while walking, their facial expressions almost always seem threatening in some way.

A lot of the guys I've met and actually talked to within this bracket seem like they have something to prove, both in work and at martial arts. I've had some interesting experiences with sparring and grappling some of them, they're usually competitive. After talking to them, they're usually not as bad as the ones I come across casually.

Men: 25-34

They tend to be more mature than the previous range, though first impressions are pretty similar. More good and more bad experiences. I recall a couple of guys I've never met who seemed to be around this age laughing at me. However, I think that some of them are more mature.

Men: 35-49

Of course, some may be creepy, especially at first impression, but I usually get along with guys in this bracket decently well. I've been comfortable with male professors within this age range. I've formed great partnerships with middle-aged men in martial arts, they tend to be my favorite age group to work with for some reason.

Women: 15-24

Most of my bad interactions are with people in this age range. They tend to laugh at me or show some sort of aggressiveness. I remember someone at krav who was trying to intimidate me, probably around 24, which surprised me since I didn't really expect anyone that direct about hating me outside of school. I also don't really have too much in common with women in this bracket.

Women: 25-34

I don't remember talking to too many females in this bracket. The few I remember have been pretty nice to me, even somewhat motherly in a way.

Women: 35-49

Just like with men, I get along with this bracket the best. I'm not sure what it is. I can feel patronized by them at times, but they usually have some sort of respect for me since I fit a "responsible" image.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

They all subconsciously think I'm their mother therefore:

Men: 15-24 - They want me to think they are cute and smart.

Men: 25-34 - They want me to think they are cute and smart.

Men: 35-49 - They almost hit on me until they realize I'm not a spring chicken they leave me alone OR they think I'm their mother and expect me to pay for stuff and get mad when I don't.

Women: 15-24 - They want me to think they are cute and smart.

Women: 25-34 - They are angry at their mothers and starting to transfer whatever their mother was onto me.

Women: 35-49 - They are now their mothers, but project it on me, and therefore accuse me of doing whatever it is they are doing to me, sometimes to the point of deep hatred, or at least anger and entitlement.

This isn't everyone of course, but it was a huge problem in the last place I lived and still happens occasionally. Also, women over 60 get fixated on me and want to control every detail of my life in completely bizarre ways. That has happened about 12 times. Men over 60 want to marry me. I know I'm being cynical and seeing it more prevalent than is reality, but these are the reactions that disturb me and leave me running for the forest. It's like I get all the blame for being a mother without ever having had children, so I only get the bad stuff. I miss my own mother. She was sometimes mixed up, but a very sweet, fun girl. I can't handle other women. My mother and sister were/are so sweet they spoiled me into expecting that. I'm not used to all this abuse, entitlement, and rage in the world.

 

[Mole]

I am an old hippy and we had the ideal of treating everyone the same, so we thought the net would be convivial. It turns out we were wrong, and the net is full of the conventional and the contentious.

We were wrong because we were literate individuals, whereas the net is electonic tribes, etribes, like typology central.

The USA is our most technologically advanced country and the most advanced on the net, so we see two etribes contending for political power in the US. And indeed one etribe, the eRepublicans made a tribal raid on the Congress to establish their tribal identity.

The etribal raid on the Congress was classic ritual tribal warfare, where very few are injured and even fewer killed. In fact only one etribal woman was killed, shot through the chest.

The etribal raid on Congress was enormously successful in establishing the identity of the eRepublican etribe. Even though they lost their leader, D. Trump, the eRepublicans have confirmed their identity, and their etribal strength.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I don't have enough data to answer this question because I'm a hermit, pandemic or not. I also don't see how one could possibly lump everyone of a certain age group and gender together when the question itself is so abstract and individualistic by nature. The whole is not a sum of identical parts.

 

[Morpeko]

I'm only including in-person experiences from around 18-24. Internet is too inconsistent and I don't know approximate ages for half of the people with whom I interact. If I count my experiences at my current age (22), that would be extremely limited since this has been the year of COVID, but at the same time, 15-24 would be too wide of a range for me because the treatment I received in high school were way too different from the treatment I receive now.

Men: 15-24

In every first impression, they're honestly quite terrifying. When I meet them or come across them while walking, their facial expressions almost always seem threatening in some way.

A lot of the guys I've met and actually talked to within this bracket seem like they have something to prove, both in work and at martial arts. I've had some interesting experiences with sparring and grappling some of them, they're usually competitive. After talking to them, they're usually not as bad as the ones I come across casually.

Men: 25-34

They tend to be more mature than the previous range, though first impressions are pretty similar. More good and more bad experiences. I recall a couple of guys I've never met who seemed to be around this age laughing at me. However, I think that some of them are more mature.

Men: 35-49

Of course, some may be creepy, especially at first impression, but I usually get along with guys in this bracket decently well. I've been comfortable with male professors within this age range. I've formed great partnerships with middle-aged men in martial arts, they tend to be my favorite age group to work with for some reason.

Women: 15-24

Most of my bad interactions are with people in this age range. They tend to laugh at me or show some sort of aggressiveness. I remember someone at krav who was trying to intimidate me, probably around 24, which surprised me since I didn't really expect anyone that direct about hating me outside of school. I also don't really have too much in common with women in this bracket.

Women: 25-34

I don't remember talking to too many females in this bracket. The few I remember have been pretty nice to me, even somewhat motherly in a way.

Women: 35-49

Just like with men, I get along with this bracket the best. I'm not sure what it is. I can feel patronized by them at times, but they usually have some sort of respect for me since I fit a "responsible" image.

I think most of these age groups see me as younger than them, and can get kind of condescending toward me. Even if I'm older than them (which is the case for most of 15-24). I'm seen as a child based on how I look, I think. And also because of me being quiet, that can be mistaken for me being a doormat. It's understandable to an extent but not ideal for me.

I'm still scared of people regardless of gender mainly in the age bracket of 15-24, because of school trauma. And yes, this is the group that is most likely to see me as competition of some sort. I also don't think I can relate very much. I don't really have an opinion of people between 25-34. I'm almost there, I guess.

The 35-49 age bracket is where I find most comfort. In both genders, but honestly more so with men more so than women. (Hopefully that doesn't make me sound like I have daddy issues... My father and partner are both in this range.) But I've found that these are the people who tend to work best and most maturely with me. Patronizing still happens but I'll take it over the other reactions of being laughed at, I guess.