Poll: Passive-Aggressive Peacemaking or Abrasive Honesty?

[Siúil a Rúin]

Hmm...

Yeah I had checked wikipedia but wasn't satisfied with the answer. I much prefer your example. Well I guess the issue here is whether or not the passive-aggressiveness we are detecting is really there. If it really IS there (meaning it's an underhanded move), yeah, it irritates me more than abrasive honesty.

Once it is introduced into a dynamic it can make a real mess of the communication because you can't always be certain where it is taking place and when it is imagined. There is a great little book that talks about and clarifies this issue.

 

[Wonkavision]

Two very different varieties of NF, we are.

Yeah, we are different.

For one thing, I communicate like a relatively normal human being, while you speak like Yoda.

But I guess if you see yourself as some kind of a sage, you're bound to talk like a Jedi.

What are you aiming at with your poll?

Well, from one Intuitive to another, I can understand your desire to know the deeper meanings of things.

There may be all kinds of subconscious reasons why I would ask certain questions, and I'm sure you have some kind of Jedi Mind-Reading technique for that.

But the simple fact is, I'm an Ne dominant, so I often probe for information without a specific agenda in mind.

I simply wanted to know which approach irritates people more.

I would have asked additional questions if I wanted to.

 

[iwakar]

Yeah, we are different.

For one thing, I communicate like a relatively normal human being, while you speak like Yoda.

But I guess if you see yourself as some kind of a sage, you're bound to talk like a Jedi.





Well, from one Intuitive to another, I can understand your desire to know the deeper meanings of things.

There may be all kinds of subconscious reasons why I would ask certain questions, and I'm sure you have some kind of Jedi Mind-Reading technique for that.

But the simple fact is, I'm an Ne dominant, so I often probe for information without a specific agenda in mind.

I simply wanted to know which approach irritates people more.

I would have asked additional questions if I wanted to.

Why the hostility?

 

[Jeffster]

Why the hostility?

I've been wondering that myself, but he won't tell me, he just keeps attacking my character without provocation.

 

[kiddykat]

It depends on intent.

I tend to like passive-aggressive peacefulness, if it's meant to really be fair/diplomatic for both sides.. however, I also tend to prefer honesty, just not abrasiveness<--- not too good on one's self-esteem, I think.

Although, growing up with tough love, I think I can somewhat handle it.. just do not prefer so much of it, since I think Respect is most important.

Sometimes, people joke around in a really blunt manner- I try not to take what they say too literally, unless it's meant to really ridicule/make someone look bad in the most heinous way..

 

[Wonkavision]

Why the hostility?

Why the hostility?

Because I find your Passive-Aggressive Peacemaking attempts extremely irritating.

If you truly want to be friendly, try relating to me as an equal, rather than as a pet project.


How about if I drop the hostility and you drop the psychoanalysis?

 

[Thalassa]

I think that passive-aggressive peace making is okay sometimes, and extremely necessary in some situations, but relying on it always is lame and causes more problems.

People who are EXTREMELY passive aggressive make me feel hostile and want to be brutally honest just to call them on their bullshit.

I think it's good to clear the air sometimes, especially in close relationships, or where someone is consistently being a prick.

So I picked abrasive honesty.

Surprise!

 

[iwakar]

Why the hostility?

Because I find your Passive-Aggressive Peacemaking attempts extremely irritating.

If you truly want to be friendly, try relating to me as an equal, rather than as a pet project.


How about if I drop the hostility and you drop the psychoanalysis?

I've ordered baked potatoes that were less loaded than your approach to this thread. If you accuse people of nitwittery while exercising a polarizing subclass of it yourself, expect to be called out.

As for your poll, I'd opt for a third choice that doesn't require I consider myself a nitwit for not choosing one of your prefab. options. Arguably, your refusal to do so is the passive-aggressive behavior you so detest.

 

[Wonkavision]

I've been wondering that myself, but he won't tell me, he just keeps attacking my character without provocation.

Jeffster, you are [...]

If you actually read the private message I sent you, [...] I pity you to the point of tears.

 

[Wonkavision]

I've ordered baked potatoes that were less loaded than your approach to this thread. If you accuse people of nitwittery while exercising a polarizing subclass of it yourself, expect to be called out.

As for your poll, I'd opt for a third choice that doesn't require I consider myself a nitwit for not choosing one of your prefab. options. Arguably, your refusal to do so is the passive-aggressive behavior you so detest.

Good one.

You're no longer worth responding to, but by all means, carry on.

 

[Thalassa]

whoops...wait...I picked that I PREFER abrasive honesty...and the poll is for which irritates me more

oops! I'm a multi-tasking P who isn't paying a bit of attention

 

[iwakar]

Jeffster, you are [voluntary edit].

If you actually read the private message I sent you, and you still don't get it, [voluntary edit]

Offensive and immature. If you're trying to encourage thread participation, this is a poor way to do it.

Good one.

You're no longer worth responding to, but by all means, carry on.

The truth hurts.

 

[Cenomite]

Oh no you di'int

 

[Wonkavision]

Look, if its any consolation to the people who don't like my polls and questionaires---I kind of doubt that I will be creating any more.

Its just too fucking irritating.


If people want to believe that they "won", by "making" me stop---they can go ahead and knock themselves out.

I just don't see the point anymore.

It's too much of a hassle with all the trolls running around.

It's giving me a headache.


Peace out, you trollin motherfuckers.

 

[proteanmix]

Wonka, I haven't interacted with you at all on the forum but you come across as p(r)etty sensitive and attention whorish.

Oh, and put me down for abrasive honesty. I'll throw a passive-aggressive smiley face on the end of this to confuse and confound!

 

[iwakar]

Wonka, I haven't interacted with you at all on the forum but you come across as p(r)etty sensitive and attention whorish.

Oh, and put me down for abrasive honesty. I'll throw a passive-aggressive smiley face on the end of this to confuse and confound!

Yeah, but if you tell us it's straddling some strange boundary between abrasive honesty and passive-aggressive.

And that wasn't an available option. You must be a troll.

Edit: Fine, fine, fine. I chose the third poll option.

 

[Salomé]

Why the hostility?

Because I find your Passive-Aggressive Peacemaking attempts extremely irritating.

If you truly want to be friendly, try relating to me as an equal, rather than as a pet project.


How about if I drop the hostility and you drop the psychoanalysis?

Jeffster, you are the epitome of the Passive-Aggressive Peacemaker.

If you actually read the private message I sent you, and you still don't get it, then you are the dullest fucking clod who ever lived---and I pity you to the point of tears.

You gotta hand it to the guy. He's honest, and abrasive.

5 stars!

 

[Wonkavision]

Wonka, I haven't interacted with you at all on the forum but you come across as p(r)etty sensitive and attention whorish.

Oh, and put me down for abrasive honesty. I'll throw a passive-aggressive smiley face on the end of this to confuse and confound!

I wont hesitate to say I'm sensitive---very much so. I think that's pretty obvious.

That's why I fire back when I'm being attacked.


But I do not whore for attention.

I'm just being myself.


I probe for information without a particular agenda in mind.

But the problem is, the more I respond to the trolls, the more I look like a troll.

So, I'm starting to think its not worth creating threads.

It seems to invite too much controversy, and that's not what I'm here for.

 

[Thalassa]

I wont hesitate to say I'm sensitive---very much so. I think that's pretty obvious.

That's why I fire back when I'm being attacked.


But I do not whore for attention.

I'm just being myself.


I probe for information without a particular agenda in mind.

But the problem is, the more I respond to the trolls, the more I look like a troll.

So, I'm starting to think its not worth creating threads.

It seems to invite too much controversy, and that's not what I'm here for.

I don't think you should stop, because then you're just letting passive-aggressive people get to you.

You can look at it this way: the point of your poll was to learn who to avoid because they prefer to be passive aggressive.

 

[proteanmix]

I wont hesitate to say I'm sensitive---very much so. I think that's pretty obvious.

That's why I fire back when I'm being attacked.


But I do not whore for attention.

I'm just being myself.


I probe for information without a particular agenda in mind.

But the problem is, the more I respond to the trolls, the more I look like a troll.

So, I'm starting to think its not worth creating threads.

It seems to invite too much controversy, and that's not what I'm here for.

But no one attacked you initially. People asked for clarification of your OP and it seems to me like you were the first person to take it there.

It seems to me that you misinterpreted iwakar's and lostinnerspace's posts and then you got offended. This is what I'm saying when you seem unreasonably sensitive and then extend claws when there was no basic understanding.