FDG
pathwise dependent
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2007
- Messages
- 5,903
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
- Enneagram
- 7w8
Lately's been recurring a situation I don't know how to deal with.
During the winter there are a lot of childhood friends I don't stay in touch with. We go to different colleges, we rarely cross each other's paths.
During the last years my circle of friends became much wider, and I also got girlfriends - etc.
Those old friends, given that only see me during the summer, keep on "demanding" my time just as before. Demanding is not the right word, because nothing is forced. But I see there is an expectations that when they ask to go out, I should be there.
In many instances, instead, I might be tired, I might be going out with my girlfriend. And I find myself telling lies, because I fear they're going to think they've gone out of my priorities. Instead, simply, we have evolved much differently, and most of them have their social life confined in the place where they lived since childhood.
I'm not judging them for this. We just live differently. But I fear the fact that I don't find time for them might be indicative that we can't be friends anymore due to my changing. I don't think it can be true, I've always been able to be friends with everybody.
Also, I don't know if it's my right to reject them when they ask me to go out. Because I feel very bad doing so, but I also know I need to save my energy for working, studying, going out with my gf, training, going out with new friends. It hasn't been always like this, and it won't be like this forever, but right now I don't know how to deal with it.
During the winter there are a lot of childhood friends I don't stay in touch with. We go to different colleges, we rarely cross each other's paths.
During the last years my circle of friends became much wider, and I also got girlfriends - etc.
Those old friends, given that only see me during the summer, keep on "demanding" my time just as before. Demanding is not the right word, because nothing is forced. But I see there is an expectations that when they ask to go out, I should be there.
In many instances, instead, I might be tired, I might be going out with my girlfriend. And I find myself telling lies, because I fear they're going to think they've gone out of my priorities. Instead, simply, we have evolved much differently, and most of them have their social life confined in the place where they lived since childhood.
I'm not judging them for this. We just live differently. But I fear the fact that I don't find time for them might be indicative that we can't be friends anymore due to my changing. I don't think it can be true, I've always been able to be friends with everybody.
Also, I don't know if it's my right to reject them when they ask me to go out. Because I feel very bad doing so, but I also know I need to save my energy for working, studying, going out with my gf, training, going out with new friends. It hasn't been always like this, and it won't be like this forever, but right now I don't know how to deal with it.