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how do you quit looping?

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
Please tell me, because I can't stop thinking about the past and how it's affecting me now and also the unknown of the future. I can't do what I need to , to prove them wrong. So I'm just going to end up proving them right, please any tips would be great because I can't quit obsessing. And I know I need to, so I can get what I need to done and have be done well.Because I refuse to go down without fight, and I need a strong defense.
 

Costrin

rawr
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Nov 1, 2008
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ENTP
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By doing exactly what your doing. Going outside of your inner world and getting information externally.

imo.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Prpl, honey, please go outside right now and put your hands flat on the ground in the grass and just feel the grass. Engage your Si/Se. That can help shut off the looping.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Welcome, babe :heart:

My NFP sis get stuck too like that, and the only way out for her is to do something physical to reconnect.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
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My NFP sis get stuck too like that, and the only way out for her is to do something physical to reconnect.

Yeah. Anything that can force us out of our heads for a while is good.

You can also try redirecting your thoughts to the extent you can. Instead of focusing on the bad from the past, focus on the lessons you can learn and think about how you can apply them. This works especially well if you combine it with sensory input to dampen the anxiety a bit.
 

Nonsensical

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Coming from an E, which may be easier said than done to an I...

When I get feeling like that, I usually just try to start new adventures. Just do something new, start a new hobbie, pick up a new interest, flow spontaneously..it's the interum between death and birth..just going, getting out, and you'll find a new bliss. It might take a little bit, but I promise that if you get out there, go somewhere, do something, follow your impulse, you will find some joy.
 

prplchknz

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Yeah. Anything that can force us out of our heads for a while is good.

You can also try redirecting your thoughts to the extent you can. Instead of focusing on the bad from the past, focus on the lessons you can learn and think about how you can apply them. This works especially well if you combine it with sensory input.
haha yes the other part of the problem, is going if I do this then it will be fine, the problem is I can't seem to get myself to do that. so it's like if I do this and then this will happen then that then that and goes on forever.
 

Bamboo

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These seem to be temporary solutions - while it's pleasant to enjoy sensation, will that fix your problem?

Maybe.

If you're stuck, it might help to disconnect, do something else, and try again. If that works, good! Problem solved.

Otherwise you're going to need a permanent fix.

You used the word looping, so you might be using circular reasoning. Loops intensify.

Look for this pattern:
Why X?
Because (property inherent to X).
Why X?

Example:
Why are things wrong?
Because they are incorrect.
So why are things wrong?
Because they are incorrect
...ad nauseam

To get out of the loop, question the "because" part. In the example, the question to ask would be "Why are they incorrect?." Then you will be moving forward toward other questions and action instead of going in circles. Loops intensify, but lateral thinking stays pretty mellow.

Get it?
 

prplchknz

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I know why.it's more of if i had done this and this differently.....instead of that and that I wouldn't be in this mess.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
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Do what the SPs do... what has happened has happened. Is it important for you to fix it? If so do it. If not, move on. The trick to moving on I think is finding something new that you enjoy doing. Whenever I immerse myself into a task... I don't think about other things anymore.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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Can you explain what's going on in a little more detail? What's your experience and what're your thoughts? What keeps happening?
 

professor goodstain

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Could be wrong here. Way off. Time has since made looping fade away for me. Now i can't sleep at night for different reasons alltogether. The habit of takin a bit to fall asleep however, did come from looping long ago. Do you have to do it right/better to generate karma? As in confidence of knowing you topped em, inturn putting them on the same playing field. A playing field that makes transparent their inabilities?
 

prplchknz

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it has to do with I fucked around in college, a.)I wasn't enjoying my major and b.)I didn't really have friends, so I was a bit depressed, the first 2 years so my grades weren't great I had some shit happen last spring failed all my classes. So I go back this last fall changed my major (which I'm loving btw) determined to get good grades, and halfway through my room mate decides to kill herself, that killed all motivation for me failed some classes. I don't care at that point then i finally decide i do care and I go to the advising office and I say look if I have a's and b's at the end of the semester can i petition? and tell them what happened last semester, they pretty much say no chance. I beg they tell me come back when my grades get in and they'll talk then. But their reasoning is I didn't come to them when it happened, and I'm like ??? really??? my room mate tried to kill herself the last thing I was worried was about grades. and it's just frustrating, cuz I know where I screwed up, and I know I can get my gpa up but i can't by the end of this semester as I need all A's.I know I would have been fine if my room mate hadn't attempted suicide because I would not have lost motivation. So basically I need to do my best, but when I sit down to work all this starts looping through my head.
 

professor goodstain

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I guess the system doesn't understand the human element. Go jogging. For at least a half an hour. Talk to the ACLU. Do you feel you let yourself/roomate down? I've sometimes felt that way since my Moms passing. I found (some years ago) teaching our mother tongue helps to make things right. It may compound things but perhaps join a suicide prevention group. And be very honest with that group/yourself when associating. And go jogging.
 

prplchknz

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thanks everyone I was able to get 5 out of 10 parts done on a big assignment, due monday night. I think going outside and handwriting everything helps, but if I stay inside to work, it doesn't tend to go as well, so maybe something about being outside helps. and I can come back in and type it up and while I'm typing I usually edit a bit and add a few things. So tommorow morning i figure get up write the last 5 parts print it out proof read and make changes. and probably do at least one re write.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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it has to do with I fucked around in college, a.)I wasn't enjoying my major and b.)I didn't really have friends, so I was a bit depressed, the first 2 years so my grades weren't great I had some shit happen last spring failed all my classes. So I go back this last fall changed my major (which I'm loving btw) determined to get good grades, and halfway through my room mate decides to kill herself, that killed all motivation for me failed some classes. I don't care at that point then i finally decide i do care and I go to the advising office and I say look if I have a's and b's at the end of the semester can i petition? and tell them what happened last semester, they pretty much say no chance. I beg they tell me come back when my grades get in and they'll talk then. But their reasoning is I didn't come to them when it happened, and I'm like ??? really??? my room mate tried to kill herself the last thing I was worried was about grades. and it's just frustrating, cuz I know where I screwed up, and I know I can get my gpa up but i can't by the end of this semester as I need all A's.I know I would have been fine if my room mate hadn't attempted suicide because I would not have lost motivation. So basically I need to do my best, but when I sit down to work all this starts looping through my head.

My honest impressions:

The roommate suicide attempt probably revived some OLDER issues and fears that haven't been resolved adequately and aren't the real reason you fucked up, but more of an excuse (sounds harsh, I know) for letting the familiar, older loops back in. The older loops seem to have something to do with anxiety and not measuring up to other people's standards. Where're your own standard? Where is your own voice?

Best,
Edahn
 

CrystalViolet

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Prplchknz,
Been there with the looping thought, if not the exact situation. The first priority for me is usually to break the thought pattern. There have been some excellent suggestions by other posters. For me I just have to get moving, do something, make a first step....talking with others sometimes increases the loop feedback for me, especially if they play on my fears, so doing something physical works for me. Even just changing your environment for a bit (which you have worked out) works.
For me, when I get into circular thought, it means I can't see forward so I need external input. It also means I stand still when I should be pushing forward, so I quite literally have to force myself into thinking forward, and seeking new input.
The thing is circular thinking, depression, insomnia etc, are all related (for me at least), it's taken me most of my twenties to learn not to fall into those patterns, and part of that was cutting out negative people in my life (my mother who utilised my thought patterns against me, her way of controlling me,and came pretty close to driving me to suicide). The biggest thing I've learnt, is that it's all up to you, and the choices you make. Don't beat yourself up about the things that didn't work out (other people make their own choices too), and it is part chance, but for the things within your reach, it is standstill and live in past, or move forward and reach for the future.
Keep your eyes on the bigger picture, everything passes even grief and loss.
 
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