I can see what you're saying here. I didn't mean to imply that 'manipulation' was necessarily deceitful - my reason for talking about the freeway was mean to show that the manipulation can be honest. I probably should have said something about communication being meant to elicit a desired behavior - manipulation is a shorthand way of saying that (in behavioral evolution), and isn't intended to carry the negative connotations.
At the same time, I think that offering a compliment as an end in itself sort of falls under what I was talking about in the first bit - it is like rendering a salute. It's an acknowledgment that the receiver holds some value. - if you see an author you really like, you might walk up to them and say something like, "I just wanted to tell you that I loved your last book." A while ago, I saw a Volkswagen Beetle with the license plate "Feature." I thought it was one of the best license plate puns I had ever seen, and if I had managed to find the owner I would have complimented him on it.
Sticking it back into the evolutionary context, though, we always have to ask why these sort of exchanges develop, and why people respond the ways that they do. In complementing Feature-guy, I'd be offering him a salute on his wit, which is something I value. He might appreciate it (because not everyone gets the plate), or he might discount it (because the joke's so obvious), but I believe that it would all fall under that sort of dynamic.
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View Poll Results: Generally what's your first internal reaction to unsolicited praise about appearance?
- Voters
- 45. You may not vote on this poll
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(swoon) Hey, don't stop there, keep going!
3 6.67% -
You know, I could really start to enjoy this!
13 28.89% -
Okay, I'm flattered... but I'm *really* trying to get something done right now... so please move.
22 48.89% -
How transparent! Go away, pig!
7 15.56%
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04-26-2007, 10:12 AM #51JBS Haldane's Four Stages of Scientific Theories:
1. This is worthless nonsense.
2. This is an interesting, but perverse, point of view.
3. This is true, but quite unimportant.
4. I always said so.
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04-26-2007, 12:10 PM #52
I feel like preening myself a little and telling myself silently, "Either he's crazy. Or I rock today."
It's flattering, but it won't win me over.
However, in threads or anything where someone says "OMG ur Os hAwT"...I tend to want to beat them about the face and neck until they learn to spell correctly. So far, this hasn't happened in threads, but it has happened in online games...those people also make me want to run very far very fast.
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04-26-2007, 12:18 PM #53
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04-26-2007, 12:42 PM #54
Which is why I don't play WoW.
If I wasn't so bad at PvP, I'd smack those r-tards! But Pete seems to do a good enough job in assisting me in fending off the ranks of nooblets. He bores them to death/makes them incredibly confused with his long-winded philsophising.
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04-26-2007, 07:06 PM #55
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- MBTI
- ExTJ
- Posts
- 1,377
U R HaWt. U R l33t 1n hAwTn3sS. j00 pwn all n00bs in hAwTn3sS.
(I don't actually talk or type like that in computer games, or anywhere else for that matter, but it is nice for jokes.)
(I haven't seen any pictures except Cafe and outmywindow, so can't compliment on appearances of anyone.)
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04-26-2007, 10:29 PM #56
To the people that get freaked out when someone compliments you: how much confidence do you have in yourselves? If you know you're talented in some way and someone confirms what you know is true then just say thank you and revel in your fabulousness.
I think the ability to receive a compliment graciously or not says a lot about a person's confidence and self-esteem levels. When I know I've written something that's very clear and explains my ideas well, I kinda know it. When I'm wearing something that's flattering to me, same thing. For those that have poor self-images a compliments may be jarring because you don't visualize yourself in that way. Sometimes I think it takes stepping out of your body and picturing how others see you.
Originally Posted by Kyrielle
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04-26-2007, 11:14 PM #57
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04-27-2007, 12:55 AM #58
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04-27-2007, 02:00 AM #59
.
Last edited by JivinJeffJones; 09-12-2007 at 02:20 PM.
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04-27-2007, 06:46 AM #60
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