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View Poll Results: Generally what's your first internal reaction to unsolicited praise about appearance?

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  • (swoon) Hey, don't stop there, keep going!

    3 8.11%
  • You know, I could really start to enjoy this!

    9 24.32%
  • Okay, I'm flattered... but I'm *really* trying to get something done right now... so please move.

    20 54.05%
  • How transparent! Go away, pig!

    5 13.51%
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Results 21 to 30 of 73

  1. #21
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Not creeped out (yet, and I love that song, lol), but embarrassed. I think I look like Eliza Jane Wilder from the Little House TV series.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #22
    Senior Member HilbertSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daphne View Post
    I guess when it comes to compliments on my mind, I really don't 'need' those emotionally. Still, they do mean a great deal coming from someone I respect. I'm not as secure about my looks as I am my mind, so the shallow compliments are more useful to me there. I
    That's interesting - I think there's a dichotomy here. Some people seem to say that they don't feel that they are particularly attractive/intelligent, so they tend to be suspicious of compliments. You're saying that you devalue compliments on your intellect because you already know that you're intelligent, but value them on your looks.

    If the complimenter also has that attribute, would that increase the value of the compliment?

    Dude, then am I a man or something? Direct and sincere is exactly what I look for. That's different than entitled, needy, and controlling.
    Erm, you did use a male orangutan in your profile picture. Maybe there's some confusion there, Dr. Zaius.

  3. #23
    Senior Member outmywindow's Avatar
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    There isn't an "extreme discomfort" option in the poll. It's not that I think the person is overtly lying to me or has ulterior mtives, it's just that I think they're nuts. I don't know how to respond positively to something I don't really think is there, but at the same time I don't want to say "Oh, no, that's ridiculous" because then I might sound like I'm coyly fishing for compliments. Basically, I think I just have the typical INTP response to any kind of complimet/flattery.

    Oh, and I don't think a man has ever said that kind of thing to me (creepy men at bus stops talking about my breasts don't count). It's usually female friends/coworkers. Or sometimes my mom.
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  4. #24
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    All right -- to expand a little, how about in welcome threads or "What We Look Like" threads?

    There, I suppose you have more control over how you present yourself and whether you even bother, so you're prepared for a potential post like "OMG UR so HOT!" or whatever else.

    Does it ever get old after awhile, or does it feel like people are just reacting to what you look like, rather than "you" per se?
    Sincere and non-creepy compliments are always nice to get. If a (rare) woman dislikes attention to her looks (a woman battling a past of incest, say), she won't be seeking it out by dressing provocatively or by posting her picture in a forum.

    However, that said, if the guy's agenda happens to be to get the woman to want him, he should keep his opinion of how hot she is to himself. NOT complimenting a pretty woman is a strong move that separates a guy from the pack of her drooling suitors and makes him more challenging in her eyes (which is a good thing - women want men they can't control).

  5. #25
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HilbertSpace View Post
    That's interesting - I think there's a dichotomy here. Some people seem to say that they don't feel that they are particularly attractive/intelligent, so they tend to be suspicious of compliments. You're saying that you devalue compliments on your intellect because you already know that you're intelligent, but value them on your looks.

    If the complimenter also has that attribute, would that increase the value of the compliment?
    Compliments on my brain from people who have earned my respect mean a great deal to me. Intelligence is more intrinsic because the proof of it has more to do with ones ability to comprehend and interact with the objective world. An experiment can be proven without any social approval.

    Attractiveness is subjective. It is measured by its impression on others. I could think myself gorgeous, but if no one else in the world agreed, what would that mean? My attractiveness is defined by its impression on others.

    Does that distinction make sense?

    Quote Originally Posted by HilbertSpace View Post
    Erm, you did use a male orangutan in your profile picture. Maybe there's some confusion there, Dr. Zaius.
    Now do you see why I'm insecure?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #26
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    Having someone compliment you for your thoughts, your ideas and your mind is much much much more powerful than having them compliment your looks. I have had that happen to me a few times and it is an unbelievable rush.
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
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  7. #27
    Senior Member Shimpei's Avatar
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    Unanticipated flattery without a sexual overtone makes me go weak in the knees in case it doesn't come from stinky, dirty and toothless men.

  8. #28
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    having someone compliment your mind is powerful b/c it's who you are. I mean to look at me, they aren't gonna know me, but to hear me.... well it's incredible.
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  9. #29
    Senior Member HilbertSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daphne View Post
    Compliments on my brain from people who have earned my respect mean a great deal to me. Intelligence is more intrinsic because the proof of it has more to do with ones ability to comprehend and interact with the objective world. An experiment can be proven without any social approval.


    Does that distinction make sense?
    Yes, I can agree with this. The person standing next to you in Border's saying that you must be smart because of all those books you have would matter significantly less than someone who is themselves quite intelligent (in your estimation) making the same statement based on what you said - so it's both based on the standing of the individual, and what they're using to make their decision.

    My favorite one along those lines was when Murray Gell-Mann said of someone: "Oh, is he that young guy with those crazy ideas? He may not be wrong!"

  10. #30
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    NLA
    Last edited by JivinJeffJones; 09-12-2007 at 02:00 PM.

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