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Can someone ask too many questions?

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Yes, there is such a thing as too many questions.

I tend to ask a lot of questions as well, and it can make some people feel cornered, like they're being drilled. Depends on the person. If they jump to the conclusion that you're asking questions to formulate a judgement about them, they're apt to get anxious and defensive, and not follow the conversation in the direction you'd hoped to aim toward. Or it may make some Feeling-Judging types overwhelmed.. I used to get like that, but it was mainly during debates regarding hard logic.. I needed some extra time to process, etc.

That's funny--the Feeling-Judging types are the ones that usually make me feel like i'm on the witness stand when they ask a barrage of questions. They want to know all this information about me right at the beginning of our friendship, and it makes me want to hide. I hate being drilled with questions, especially about myself. I'm much more the, "hang around and chill for a while, and you'll learn all that stuff anyway" type.

My INFJ friend has a way of asking a lot of questions that almost feels accusatory when I don't know where she's leading. Maybe it's her direct style, or the fact that she's the only one that knows why she's asking. I get very defensive in situations like that, even though I know I've done nothing wrong!

That is the bulk of my style of conversation with people. Question, answer, question, answer, explain yourself further, deeper, list reasons why, what does that mean, to you or just generally? how, when, where....

I actually think I scared off an ENTP guy with my doing that when I met him. I thought he'd be able to appreciate that weird habit, but instead my overanalyzing may have pushed him away because he just wanted to chill out and not be barraged with my questions and have to think of all the answers lol...

He thought I was a T, but I'm an F! lol :nerd:

Yeah, I would feel like that ENTP guy. When I'm with friends, I just want to hang out. If it feels like an interview, then it's not going to be enjoyable for me, and I'll likely find somewhere else to be. A question every once in a while is fine, but a constant stream of questions makes me feel like I'm under the microscope. I don't like that much attention focused on me.

Sometimes people become a little unsettled and disoriented when they don't have insight into the intention of questions. They like to feel like the conversation is contributing or moving towards an issue or idea that is relevant to them. They might be a little reluctant to engage unless they themselves understand how their contributions will be used.

People sometimes just having glancing thoughts that they express without any real thought put on the relations and comparisons that could be made. They might only need to make a general relation based on standards which may not be universally accepted or understood. The best approach is to understand things on two levels, the possible reasons why they came to a conclusion on making said statement, and your analysis on said statement. It's a little like a give and take in terms of pace and direction. Sometimes you have to concede a little bit and allow them to direct without too much intervention. In some sense that is where their reluctance and the general tension may arise. That balance of control in the conversation.

Yes, exactly. I want to know why you want to know the things you're asking. Tell me where you're going and I might relax a bit. And yeah, when someone's taking your answer as law when you might have been just musing, that's disconcerting, too.

I'm willing to answer lots of questions when it comes to a subject I'm interested in. In the classroom, for example, I take it as a sign of interest, and i like the challenge of answering students' questions to their satisfaction. It also helps me find holes in my lectures/explanations.

In my off-time, I don't mind if you ask me questions about my work or an interesting topic, but if it goes on and on, after a while, I'm going to get tired and/or bored, and hope for a subject change.

Another thing--some people rely entirely on other human beings for their knowledge when they could look it up themselves. That bugs the crap out of me. Don't ask me a zillion questions because you're too lazy to google it or go to the library.
 

kuranes

Active member
Joined
Apr 20, 2007
Messages
1,067
MBTI Type
XNXP
In the context of a forum you're not spamming ? *shrugs * I suppose not. If you're not careful you may find yourself being listed in the "Questioner" forum goer category, though. ;)

In real life ? Hell, yes.
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
Questions in a accusatory tone:

I feel like I handle these well, and sometimes enjoy them. I think I can tell when I've changed or at least befuddled someone's idea of what's going on. It's a chance to test out my logic versus someone's notions. And if the exchange develops into an argument, I usually don't mind that. Assuming it's not a drama-laden argument.

Questions in information-gathering tone:

They're fine. I usually don't feel like I'm being drained by the questions, depending on the person. But the closer it gets to that, the more concise my answers will get. Interest level in the topic of course has an effect.


When I was growing up, I know that I constantly was asking my parents questions, and they never got annoyed and always made time to answer with patience. So maybe that has something to do with myself being receptive of questioning.
 

Silent Stars

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
410
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I love being asked questions, and I would answer anything anyone asked me.:)
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I tend to ask way too much I think.
 

527468

deleted
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
1,945
I think my chart in my sig helps. You ask questions either to simplify or clarify, or because you need more information. Surprisingly they are both extroverted functions.

In your case I'd say you are exercising your Te, and that is being very balanced of you. Congratulations, you're healthy.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Sure you can ask too many questions. Especially if you are drilling down with the questions.
Are you a cop?
 

laintpe

Summer
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
635
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
If I talk to someone one-on-one on vent and they don't blabber on and on, I ask a million questions. I don't know if it is annoying yet. I've been asked by one member, "Why do you ask so many questions?" He said he didn't mind, but I suppose he could just be saying that.
 

Didums

New member
Joined
Jun 20, 2008
Messages
680
You know you ask too many questions if you have to ask someone if you ask too many questions.
 

earthangel

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
63
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Yes, there is such a thing as too many questions.



That's funny--the Feeling-Judging types are the ones that usually make me feel like i'm on the witness stand when they ask a barrage of questions. They want to know all this information about me right at the beginning of our friendship, and it makes me want to hide. I hate being drilled with questions, especially about myself. I'm much more the, "hang around and chill for a while, and you'll learn all that stuff anyway" type.

My INFJ friend has a way of asking a lot of questions that almost feels accusatory when I don't know where she's leading. Maybe it's her direct style, or the fact that she's the only one that knows why she's asking. I get very defensive in situations like that, even though I know I've done nothing wrong!



Yeah, I would feel like that ENTP guy. When I'm with friends, I just want to hang out. If it feels like an interview, then it's not going to be enjoyable for me, and I'll likely find somewhere else to be. A question every once in a while is fine, but a constant stream of questions makes me feel like I'm under the microscope. I don't like that much attention focused on me.


Guilty, guilty... :eek:uch:

We do it out of interest and concern!
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Haven't you asked this question before, Anti-social? :thinking:
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Haven't you asked this question before, Anti-social? :thinking:

It could be that I did it in some other thread since I am always near such a topics.

But not so long ago I created a therad "Do you ever ask question if you know the answer?"
 
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