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Introvert + mind blank = ......

raz

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So. I'm wondering what other Introvert's experiences with this are. From what I've learned, the main problem with Introverts in social experiences is that because of their greater internal focus, large amounts of external stimulation cause the aforementioned "mind blank effect."

The mind blank effect can happen soon in a conversation, or later on once the introvert has reached their boiling point. Basically, it's the same as just running out of fuel, and you can't think straight until you can reduce external stimulation enough to the point that you can start regaining control over your thought process.

This is the main reason why introverts have common difficulties in social settings because the combined soaking in of what's going on around you including surroundings and the other people along with the actual conversation going on keeps them from maintaining a thought process that is as efficient as an extrovert. I'm asking this because I'm just realizing how much difficulty I really have in social settings, and I'm starting to think that it is often caused by being an introvert.

First off, I want to clear the misconception that introversion and shyness or being anti-social are synonymous, because they're not. The latter is a likely EFFECT of the former, but they don't automatically happen together. An extrovert is going to have their constant outward focus. They're going to crave interaction in order to regain energy, and in the process, provide themselves with immense opportunities to increase their people skills. This is IF they take advantage of it and become more socially effective. An introvert is going to have the inward focus on their own contemplation and emotional state, removing themselves from events and gatherings that overstimulate them or avoiding them all together, greatly reducing their chances of becoming more socially effective. Like I said, there is a difference.

Now, there's a reason I'm putting all of this out there. A great amount of times, I have an incredibly valid point to make. I might know a lot about something, and I'm itching to get it out, but there are many times where I hit the proverbial brick wall. I run out of fuel for social interactions and I hit that mind blank effect. I can't dig back into my memory to retrieve what I was going to say, and all the while I'm kicking myself because I'm being made out to look like someone who has no idea what they're saying.

I've subconsciously known about this problem my entire life. I spend more time preparing for conversations than improvising during them. I've been called out on it often because things I say seem to sound like "lines" rather than real speech. Anyway, after all this, how do other introverts here deal with this issue? I feel it's something I can't get rid of, but I can try to work around it. However, it cuts into my life a great amount, and it feels great to finally know why I am the way I am.
 

Kyrielle

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I have the same issue of having thoughts just drop off mid-conversation. There's not much that can be done to stop it, especially if I've been stressed and tired lately. What helps is carefully thinking my thoughts all the way through and even if the conversation has moved on, I'll voice those thoughts once I'm done processing them and there's a lull. I've learned to just say "Ugh, lost my train of thought. What was I saying just a second ago?" If I've been personable enough, most people will help me and get some amusement out of it. It does get very annoying when I'm particularly strung out and can't keep my head on straight. Then is a good time to back out and get some space.
 

Kalach

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In purely social situations I keep on talking, but to me it's like I'm not there anymore. I don't know what it sounds like to people who have to listen to it.

In more immediate, intimate interactions, if someone else provides the energy for the conversation to keep going in a way or direction that I appreciate, I can keep focused and keep being there. Otherwise I start shutting down.

If shutting down like that will genuinely ruin something important, I'll be ready with a suggestion that we take a break and re-convene later. But that's really only for meetings or planning sessions.

But yeah, the mind blank...it is in effect training me to be more direct, and maybe a bit more ruthless in who I care for and when. It'd be nice if it'd teach me to be more patient--to combine some directness and confidence for speaking my mind immediately together with an ability to allow things to float along by themselves during the gaps where I've absented myself to go recover energy.
 

Athenian200

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I have this problem. I usually end up trying to say something any way when this happens, though. Which usually makes this worse.
 

wolfy

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I draw a blank in crowds. It seems to be a different reason to yours though. I prefer to respond to people individually. To read how the other is feeling and respond to that. That's hard to do in a crowd. I tend to start reading the crowd as one and then can't find the right angle. In that situation I tend to sit back and observe.
People who know me are often disappointed at me in a crowd. Of course if it's a crowd where I know the majority it's not a problem.
 

Shaula

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Now, there's a reason I'm putting all of this out there. A great amount of times, I have an incredibly valid point to make. I might know a lot about something, and I'm itching to get it out, but there are many times where I hit the proverbial brick wall. I run out of fuel for social interactions and I hit that mind blank effect. I can't dig back into my memory to retrieve what I was going to say, and all the while I'm kicking myself because I'm being made out to look like someone who has no idea what they're saying.
Very well put. I know exactly how this feels. Quite frustrating. Either I completely forget my point or I present it in an improper way which causes others to misunderstand me. Sometimes this will lead myself into confusion and I leave the conversation feeling like an idiot.
 

NewEra

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Yes raz, I've been in the same situation(s). I'm not a people-person at all, and that hinders my social skills. Funny thing is although I'm not incredibly outgoing, I like it a lot when people talk about me. And I used to be a lot more extraverted a couple of years ago.
 

A Schnitzel

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This is an easy one.

Introvert + mind blank = Jeffster

I love these puzzles!
 

Anentropic IxTx

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raz - I'm amazed, truly. This is exactly what happens to me all the time, and it's annoying to no end. And were you especially inspired when you wrote that post? ;)
 

raz

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My mind isn't blanked out when I'm alone at my computer. This happens in social situations on vent or in real life.
 

01011010

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Very well put. I know exactly how this feels. Quite frustrating. Either I completely forget my point or I present it in an improper way which causes others to misunderstand me. Sometimes this will lead myself into confusion and I leave the conversation feeling like an idiot.

Wrap Te around your Ni, like a mother cradling a gentle baby. Or appoint Te as your personal drill sergeant. Whichever you prefer.
 

raz

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Wrap Te around your Ni, like a mother cradling a gentle baby. Or appoint Te as your personal drill sergeant. Whichever you prefer.

These problems I'm assuming are worse for especially IxTJs. We dispatch Te to tend to the outside world, so coupled with the irritation that a drained introvert has, we're the unfriendliest people in the world.
 

01011010

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These problems I'm assuming are worse for especially IxTJs. We dispatch Te to tend to the outside world, so coupled with the irritation that a drained introvert has, we're the unfriendliest people in the world.

Yes. We are a miserable lot. :D
 

CrystalViolet

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Na, I come across as pretty unfriendly, if I don't know you. For all that Fi, I'm not really a people person either.
 

kelric

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I run out of fuel for social interactions and I hit that mind blank effect. I can't dig back into my memory to retrieve what I was going to say, and all the while I'm kicking myself because I'm being made out to look like someone who has no idea what they're saying.

I've subconsciously known about this problem my entire life. I spend more time preparing for conversations than improvising during them.
A very good description of what happens to me too, Raz. I can think of several instances just over the last few days when this happened to me... trying to maintain a train of conversation and just locking up. I think that part of the problem is that, at least for me, it's sort of a positive feedback loop. When I start to lock up, I get embarrassed/stressed about it, and it just sort of magnifies the issue. So I try to prepare some conversation topics ahead of time, and that in itself just winds me up even ahead of time.

Anyway, after all this, how do other introverts here deal with this issue? I feel it's something I can't get rid of, but I can try to work around it. However, it cuts into my life a great amount
I wish I had a really good answer for this... but like you say, I'm not sure it's something you can really get rid of. It certainly can chew into your confidence in social situations... the only tip I can think of is to try to pick and choose and/or manage your environment. If you can, retreat to a more private place, even if it's just a corner of a room instead of the center. I find that once I get to know people, it's not such a huge deal, but initially it's certainly difficult.
 

Orangey

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To the OP;

I get that lock-up, mind drain effect all the time in social situations. Unfortunately, the field I'm going into places a very high value on spontaneous bursts of brilliance being borne out of conversation. This has lead people to think that I'm slow-witted, dumb, and/or otherwise less than qualified to be doing what I do. Luckily I get the chance to (more than) redeem myself when I turn in my written work.

This is especially true in situations where I don't know anyone really well, and there are just few enough people to make it clear that I'm the only one that hasn't contributed to the conversation. This pressure of having been spotted, combined with the pressure I was already experiencing, makes it twice as hard for me to say anything remotely intelligent in the moment. And like you said, I usually walk away feeling idiotic and doubting my own intellectual prowess. Then a few hours later I rationalize my performance as having been due to my mind wandering, or stress, or tiredness. It's really not pleasant.

Like kelric said, I don't know if there's anything to offer in the way of useful advice. I imagine that in social situations that you have some degree of control over, you will most likely be apt to use it to your advantage. Where you (and I) really need help is in situations where you can't easily find some way to isolate yourself and regroup.

Anyway, I'll stop my whining now.
 

Tiltyred

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Y'all need a wingman.
 
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