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You're not young anymore...

niffer

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,217
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Growing up is scary. Now that I'm 15 I can't get tax deduction when I buy clothes. I have a job. I am able to take much responsibility for things. I have to worry about my future.

People see me as old too. In restaurants they come up to my table and tell me about the drink specials. People ask me what I'm taking in college. Strangers come up to me almost daily and ask for directions/help. Adults used to tell me, "Don't talk to strangers." Adults are nothing but aged children. Some put up better facades with their expertise than others. You'd think that was obvious, but it's something that takes a while to notice.

And when there's something I just don't know, or all I can draw are blanks, or I create awkward silences, people look at me in bewilderment, as if I'm retarded.

I'm scared man. I grew up in my head a lot, playing Final Fantasy games and daydreaming about the surreal.

Constantly I wonder: when am I going to become just a little more organized? Just a little bit more charismatic? Just a bit more sensible? Where's that magical fairy guardian with her wand that will turn me into a fully functioning adult? When is she going to come for me?

When is the cement truck coming; the one that will set my life's future career into concrete? How much more time do I have left?

How much initiative will I have to take? Are there guidelines for me? Will there be forms to fill out or will I have to write them myself?

Where do I pick them up?

Where do I hand them in?

Which container do I put my dreams into?
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Constantly I wonder: when am I going to become just a little more organized? Just a little bit more charismatic? Just a bit more sensible? Where's that magical fairy guardian with her wand that will turn me into a fully functioning adult? When is she going to come for me?

My wife is an ESFJ that's as close as I got to a magical fairy guardian.
 

wildcat

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,622
MBTI Type
INTP
Prompted by Mempy's thread: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...ics/11384-taking-yourself-less-seriously.html

This is sort of the reverse of what Mempy experiences. How do you deal with people that tells you to "grow up"? Essentially how do you shake the notion that you're "young"?

I enjoy being silly and doing random things in my spare time. I like watching kids shows, bounces along to say Blues Clues on TV. Yes, I sometimes act like peter pan... a kid that never grew up, however I only do so in my spare time. I have no problems switching back and forth between "adult" mode and "kiddy" mode. The sticking point here is that other people might not see it that way. A kid's a kid, never to be taken too seriously.

This is probably a none too common issue, but anybody else had this experience? Also are there ways to "fix" it? And no, I would not take on traditional pastimes simply because they're "acceptable". My free time is my own to use. :mellow:
Never grow up. :)
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Never grow up. :)

"This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." Winston Churchill

I've never been that serious.
Is being called facetious a compliment or insult?
 

Ishida

New member
Joined
May 5, 2008
Messages
132
MBTI Type
INTJ
An interesting distinction. I'm somewhere in the middle at 21, grown up yet not so grown up. I try not to worry about it.
 

placebo

New member
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
492
MBTI Type
INFP
Prompted by Mempy's thread: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...ics/11384-taking-yourself-less-seriously.html

This is sort of the reverse of what Mempy experiences. How do you deal with people that tells you to "grow up"? Essentially how do you shake the notion that you're "young"?

I enjoy being silly and doing random things in my spare time. I like watching kids shows, bounces along to say Blues Clues on TV. Yes, I sometimes act like peter pan... a kid that never grew up, however I only do so in my spare time. I have no problems switching back and forth between "adult" mode and "kiddy" mode. The sticking point here is that other people might not see it that way. A kid's a kid, never to be taken too seriously.

This is probably a none too common issue, but anybody else had this experience? Also are there ways to "fix" it? And no, I would not take on traditional pastimes simply because they're "acceptable". My free time is my own to use. :mellow:

You should never have to 'grow up'. One of the most amazing things is to see the world through a child's eyes.

"One does not complain about water because it is wet, nor about rocks because they are hard... as the child looks out upon the world with wide, uncritical and innocent eyes, simply noting and observing what is the case, without either arguing the matter or demanding that it be otherwise, so does the self-actualizing person look upon human nature both in himself and in others" - Maslow
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
What are you trying to fix? Are you saying you don't like being yourself?
My only pet peeve with this all is that I get fed up with those "well intentioned" comments and looks that are thrown my way.

People will never admit it, but being "young" affects the way they evaluate you. Is my competence based on my skills or on my looks? It ought to be on the former but its not.

You should never have to 'grow up'. One of the most amazing things is to see the world through a child's eyes.

"One does not complain about water because it is wet, nor about rocks because they are hard... as the child looks out upon the world with wide, uncritical and innocent eyes, simply noting and observing what is the case, without either arguing the matter or demanding that it be otherwise, so does the self-actualizing person look upon human nature both in himself and in others" - Maslow
Yes, that is what they say... but people are hypocrites... they put ideals on a pedestal and expect something else "in reality".

This is turning rant-like... my apologies.
 

GZA

Resident Snot-Nose
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,771
MBTI Type
infp
A friend of mine, who's 23, once said "children and adults live for basically the same reason; to play. Anyone who says otherwise isn't really living." That always stuck with me, because I think it has a lot of truth.

Shaking the notion that you arn't young? I don't think the "old" and "young" concepts have a whole lot of merit. The idea of an "adult" makes very little sense to me, it seems to be a social thing. There's no real reason an adult can't enjoy "young" things, given that it isn't some contrived attempt to relive what they regret not doing earlier in life, or some other reason other than the pure joy of it. Winnie the Pooh is a great show, and sometimes it looks nicer to colour outside the lines. Candy taste good, too. The idea that people need to "grow up" and that at some point you are too old to be silly or whatever is purely egotistical. It's not that you enjoy something that is "childish" and that there is something wrong with you, it's that this "childish" thing may have an appeal beyond what people assume. Isn't it sad when people divide their lives into "modes" like "kiddy" and "adult", rather than recognizing that as a whole you have elements of both at all times?

But... well, read my sig :tongue:

And Niffer, I loved your post, cause I can relate to a lot of it. Some of it I've thought about and I've sort of answered for myself, but some of it still swims in my head, and I'm beginning to think it could for the rest of my life. I used to wonder when I would be more organized, or sensible, or a smooth talker or whatever, but now I'm thinking there's no reason I need to be any of those things. They simply don't resgister, and there simply isn't any reason they will ever need to. Who ever said adults fully function in the first place? If anything, what they do is definitively dysfunctional -the manifestation of the "career cement truck" you talked about. Why do you think Prozac was invented? People may look at you in bewilderment when you simply don't know, but they don't know either.

And neither do I. There are all kinds of questions, absurdities, and idiosycracies that I will never be able to fully comprehend, no matter how well I observe and percieve them. I have questions that are bigger than life itself, questions I couldn't even put into words, and these questions will probably swim in my head for the rest of my life, without closure. Suprisingly, I'm not scared of this... it's actually very liberating in a sense. Nothing is supposed to be anything, so everything is free to be whatever it is.

It's only scary in that sometimes it seems like you are diving head first into a absolutely absurd joke that takes itself absolutely seriously.
 

Silent Stars

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
410
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I've never been told to grow up. Then again, I never really was much of a kid to begin with.
 

luminous beam

♪♫♪♫♪♫
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Messages
744
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
peter pannings
 
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