Taking Yourself Less Seriously

[Mempy]

I wonder what people mean when they say, "Don't take yourself seriously." You often hear it in relation to other things, too. The first thing that comes to mind for me is a straight-edge man who has always been too concerned with doing a good job. He dresses for his job, frets about projects and pleasing superiors, and has been driving himself nearly over the edge with stress for years. One day, noticing that he's on the verge of a breakdown, a coworker says, "Lighten up. This assignment isn't life or death." The reason someone would take something so seriously is because something of consequence is at stake. In this case, it's his job, but it goes deeper than that; it's his pride and his self-esteem, too, I think.

What is the secret to taking yourself less seriously? In other words, the message is too vague. It's difficult to figure out how you could implement that philosophy. If the cause of taking yourself too seriously is that you perceive something to be at stake, what is it? Does self-worth have anything to do with it? Does taking yourself less seriously mean you will necessarily take life less seriously and have more fun?

I think this is a desirable thing. I'm just fuzzy on how to do it.

 

[sarah]

I wonder what people mean when they say, "Don't take yourself seriously." You often hear it in relation to other things, too. The first thing that comes to mind for me is a straight-edge man who has always been too concerned with doing a good job. He dresses for his job, frets about projects and pleasing superiors, and has been driving himself nearly over the edge with stress for years. One day, noticing that he's on the verge of a breakdown, a coworker says, "Lighten up. This assignment isn't life or death." The reason someone would take something so seriously is because something of consequence is at stake. In this case, it's his job, but it goes deeper than that; it's his pride and his self-esteem, too, I think.

What is the secret to taking yourself less seriously? In other words, the message is too vague. It's difficult to figure out how you could implement that philosophy. If the cause of taking yourself too seriously is that you perceive something to be at stake, what is it? Does self-worth have anything to do with it? Does taking yourself less seriously mean you will necessarily take life less seriously and have more fun?

I think this is a desirable thing. I'm just fuzzy on how to do it.

Hm... I sometimes get people telling me to "lighten up" too. Occasionally what they mean is they want me to laugh at somebody's non-funny jokes, or they think I ought to do something I don't feel like doing, just because other people enjoy doing it. But the times when I actually think it's good advice are:

Whatever I'm worried about doing or saying something that isn't going to have big repercussions, but in my mind it's gotten all blown out of proportion and has become a matter of personal pride -- winning some contest against myself.

or

When I'm worried about people's reactions to me (either who I am or something I did), but in reality, people aren't thinking about me quite as often as I believe they are, and "lighten up" is a gentle reminder of that.

I think taking yourself less seriously in these ways does allow you to laugh at yourself, which means you think of yourself as part of the human race again instead of needing to be well above average (or a shining example of somehing-or-other). And your life becomes more fun when you're responsive to what's actually going on around you rather than wrapped up in concerns that really don't even need to be concerns.

Sarah

 

[wolfy]

When I'm worried about people's reactions to me (either who I am or something I did), but in reality, people aren't thinking about me quite as often as I believe they are, and "lighten up" is a gentle reminder of that.


Sarah

Reminds me of the old saying

When you're 18 you care what others think
When you're 40 you don't care any more
When you turn 60 you realize they weren't thinking about you anyway.

 

[wolfy]

What is the secret to taking yourself less seriously? In other words, the message is too vague. It's difficult to figure out how you could implement that philosophy. If the cause of taking yourself too seriously is that you perceive something to be at stake, what is it? Does self-worth have anything to do with it? Does taking yourself less seriously mean you will necessarily take life less seriously and have more fun?

I think this is a desirable thing. I'm just fuzzy on how to do it.

Start with a dry black humorous view on life and your existence.

 

[Totenkindly]

Reminds me of the old saying
When you're 18 you care what others think
When you're 40 you don't care any more
When you turn 60 you realize they weren't thinking about you anyway.

Yay -- I doubled up on steps #2 and #3!
I'm ahead of the curve!

 

[Jeffster]

Strange, I can't remember anyone ever telling me to take myself less seriously.

 

[Simplexity]

I think I like screwing with people to much. I get complacent when I'm to serious so I turn up the lack of seriousness to account for myself. I think it takes the edge off of things. Both personally and internally and for others externally. It's like a little background that makes your best qualities more approachable and appreciated.

People feel comfortable more when you revert back to your serious self, or when you react negatively and revert to some of the more negative personality traits you posses. It is more reassuring for others if they get a fuller spectrum of behaviors. It leads to better trust and understanding. I would tell you specifically how it's handy for me but I think it would change for not only different personality types but for different people as well. I've never really had a problem with it, because I would always alternate on an almost bipolar spectrum. I noticed that it was more endearing to people when I took myself less seriously because I was a little hell razor.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Yay -- I doubled up on steps #2 and #3!
I'm ahead of the curve!

W00T!

 

[Rogue]

I think I like screwing with people to much. I get complacent when I'm to serious so I turn up the lack of seriousness to account for myself. I think it takes the edge off of things. Both personally and internally and for others externally. It's like a little background that makes your best qualities more approachable and appreciated.

People feel comfortable more when you revert back to your serious self, or when you react negatively and revert to some of the more negative personality traits you posses. It is more reassuring for others if they get a fuller spectrum of behaviors. It leads to better trust and understanding. I would tell you specifically how it's handy for me but I think it would change for not only different personality types but for different people as well. I've never really had a problem with it, because I would always alternate on an almost bipolar spectrum. I noticed that it was more endearing to people when I took myself less seriously because I was a little hell razor.

I like this person! I like sarcastic humor and make-believe stuff..but people NEVER know when I am kidding and tell me to "take meyself less seriously" when that was what I was doing in the first place!

 

[Salomé]

I don't know if you can learn how to do this, or even if it's desirable. I see absurdity in almost everything, I don't look for it, it's just there. It's related to cynicism - which is not a desirable trait. In good humour it makes me laugh, in bad it makes me irritable. In either, I can't take most things, including myself, seriously.

I hope you appreciate how difficult it was for me to give you a serious answer.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

E-zay: practice laughing at your errors.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

For me it is letting go of preconceived notions about life and what to expect from it. There isn't anything to live up to, but instead just go about living. I always felt most serious when I felt pressured to be someone or accomplish some particular thing in order to be acceptable. It's easier to have simpler motivations, laugh at shortcomings, and accept oneself complete with failures and foibles.

 

[Skyward]

For me it is letting go of preconceived notions about life and what to expect from it. There isn't anything to live up to, but instead just go about living. I always felt most serious when I felt pressured to be someone or accomplish some particular thing in order to be acceptable. It's easier to have simpler motivations, laugh at shortcomings, and accept oneself complete with failures and foibles.

This is my rut! Though I seem to over-pressure myself and turn something small into a self esteem issue; Leading to depression or rage, depending on what the problem is or what EnType I decided to take on that day D)

For me, jealousy and perfectionism are the two main hurdles too staying light. I've had some great 'ENFP Days' where nothing mattered as much. Sure things needed to be done, but I didnt agonize over them.

Its an energy thing I guess. When I have high energy, I can live a lot easier and more positive. On bad days I sink into my mind and its kind of like rolling around through life in a hamster ball.

I bet everyone has similar days anyway

 

[nightning]

It's not so much taking yourself less seriously as in making time where you can relax and be silly. Be serious where you need to be, and for the trivial, don't sweat it. What I usually do is go try or learn something completely different from your work. Since it's in no way in relations to your competency at your job, you can just do whatever.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I don't know if you can learn how to do this, or even if it's desirable. I see absurdity in almost everything, I don't look for it, it's just there. It's related to cynicism - which is not a desirable trait. In good humour it makes me laugh, in bad it makes me irritable. In either, I can't take most things, including myself, seriously.

I hope you appreciate how difficult it was for me to give you a serious answer.

Agreed for the most part, except that I think it's definitely desirable. I think learning to take yourself less seriously starts with realizing the absurdity of the larger world around you. It takes a bit of perspective, which is generally lacking when you take yourself too seriously. For this reason, I think it's hard to think like that if you're not naturally inclined to. But absurdity is everywhere and capriciousness abounds. If you understand those things, you'll avoid creating too many expectations about the results of your personal decisions and actions, and that's the heart of not taking yourself seriously.

 

[Jack Flak]

Oh, I'm a total goofball until someone else doesn't take me seriously. Then watch out.

 

[entropie]

 

[ajblaise]

Viewing things in a large perspective and relating to the "big picture" can help one take things less seriously.

Getting hung up over little things can seem quite absurd, then.

 

[Jae Rae]

A high school friend used to say, "Who's going to care in 20 years?"

 

[01011010]

A high school friend used to say, "Who's going to care in 20 years?"

Yes.

Except, let's not care right now.