Depression..

[redacted]

It's all about baby steps. You gotta break big problems that cause lots of anxiety into manageable chunks.

This is the advice I'm giving myself at least...

 

[Ivy]

I'd be depressed if I went to Duke too. *ducks*

Seriously though. Have you considered transferring? Four years is a long time. When I left home to go to college (Guilford in Greensboro), I was miserable. I couldn't break the social code there, or something like that. I just couldn't make connections with anyone. When I transferred to UNC things got better pretty much immediately. And I wasn't a part of the frat/sorority party scene there, it didn't appeal to me in the slightest. There were enough niches that I was able to find some freaks fairly quickly.

If transferring is out of the question, I think your second idea of getting the job done at college and staying close to your connections back home is a good one. I wouldn't give up totally on making friends at school, though--just, stop letting my well-being depend on it. It always seems like once I stop striving for things like that, they usually materialize anyway.

 

[Nocapszy]

It's all about baby steps. You gotta break big problems that cause lots of anxiety into manageable chunks.

This is the advice I'm giving myself at least...

What the fuck do you have to be depressed about?

 

[A Schnitzel]

What the fuck do you have to be depressed about?

That's the depressing part...

 

[Anja]

Mondo, congratulations for the bravery to take steps to change.

You must have a reputable psychologist if he was able to get you in to see a psychiatrist in two weeks. And it speaks well for your good intentions that he was able to do this for you. Many have to wait up to six months around here if they aren't established. Imagine!

You are certainly not alone. There is a nationwide epidemic of clinical depression at present here in the States.

You will benefit from your attitude of willingness to listen to your doctor and counselor. So working on trust is important. Don't be afraid to ask any questions you have.

Nor be afraid to tell your psychiatrist what you think you need.

Second, doing what they say and having some patience. Improvement won't happen overnight.

Third, a support group for depressed people will speed your recovery. You'd be surprised how much free help you can get from others who are walking your path. People with experience will be glad to help you. I trust this. They know what it feels like.

Plan on building resolve to do some things that you don't want to do!

Finally, recognize that medication is the short-term solution to what may be a long-term issue. It's not a quick or magical cure. If it's prescribed don't be afraid to give it a try. It doesnt mean you will have to take it forever. Sometimes a short period of using medication can lift your mood enough to get you out there and doing things to make yourself feel better.

Patience in this area is important. Sometimes it takes a while to find the correct medication and dosage.

Hopefully you will learn some new coping skills. You can start with self-talk. It's surprising how, when we listen closely to what we say to ourselves, we begin to recognize that our thoughts can be self-defeating. Listen to them all day long and it has the same effect as if someone were following us around all day and saying mean things to us. Not good. We don't like it when others do it. Let's not do it to ourselves!

It takes about thirty days to develop a new habit and this is one you can begin without waiting to see a helper.

Courage, support and persistance will pay off. If it's clinical depression it is not just a bad mood or habit. It's a life-threatening illness and you have every right to take it very seriously.

 

[Mondo]

Ivy: Transferring is likely out of the question at this point.
Once I take out my social frustrations, Duke is actually a pretty good place.
I was talking to my sister (who attends a SUNY) about transferring to her school.
She basically told me that it would be crazy for me to transfer from Duke to SUNY, given what my future plans are.
It would be cheaper to go SUNY but apparently a Duke degree goes much farther in the real world... I also wouldn't want to go from some douchey private college to another douchey private college. On the other hand, there's always UNC! , but it's pretty expensive OOS and given my lackluster freshman grades- I couldn't see UNC being generous with FA or even accept me in the first place.

Courage, support and persistance will pay off. If it's clinical depression it is not just a bad mood or habit. It's a life-threatening illness and you have every right to take it very seriously.

It's all about baby steps. You gotta break big problems that cause lots of anxiety into manageable chunks.

Anja & Evan, thanks for your advice! It would be good to follow. It'll take time. After tonight, I'm going to call my therapist again requesting another appointment. I feel silly canceling things.

maybe youre just bored & lazy like me

mitzy, I think that could be a piece of it too. My friends back home are a little crazier (in a good way) than my friends in college and more fun in many ways. The people I'm with at college are fun too but not in the ridiculously witty and outrageous way as the people I hang out with at home..I don't laugh as easily with them.
The irony is that my friends in college are more easily amused than my friends back home, only extreme jokes make them laugh and I think I may operate the same way.

 

[Anja]

You're welcome, Mondo.

Maybe changing your avatar would help? I think it's making me depressed.

College. Major life transition. I remember how difficult that was.

 

[Venom]

Ivy: Transferring is likely out of the question at this point.
Once I take out my social frustrations, Duke is actually a pretty good place.
I was talking to my sister (who attends a SUNY) about transferring to her school.
She basically told me that it would be crazy for me to transfer from Duke to SUNY, given what my future plans are.
It would be cheaper to go SUNY but apparently a Duke degree goes much farther in the real world... I also wouldn't want to go from some douchey private college to another douchey private college. On the other hand, there's always UNC! , but it's pretty expensive OOS and given my lackluster freshman grades- I couldn't see UNC being generous with FA or even accept me in the first place.


Anja & Evan, thanks for your advice! It would be good to follow. It'll take time. After tonight, I'm going to call my therapist again requesting another appointment. I feel silly canceling things.


mitzy, I think that could be a piece of it too. My friends back home are a little crazier (in a good way) than my friends in college and more fun in many ways. The people I'm with at college are fun too but not in the ridiculously witty and outrageous way as the people I hang out with at home..I don't laugh as easily with them.
The irony is that my friends in college are more easily amused than my friends back home, only extreme jokes make them laugh and I think I may operate the same way.

if you've never heard of NLP. Neuro-linguistic-programming. it could change your life (serious). no bullshit, it works!

PUAs use it for pretty disgusting uses...however thats not what it was intended for. its pretty much like having a manual to how to program software for the human brain. The PUAs use it to reprogram other peoples brains. It actually has very positive uses when used on your own brain to induce positive change.

-block out memories, anchor any feeling to a 'trigger' (imagine anchoring a sense of confidence from a sports achievement in high school, to a trigger like getting your name called to give a speech), change behavior to align with your objectives, the list goes on and on because NLP isnt really a single exercise, its more of an idea --> method --> excerises that affect almost any area of your life.

you can create new habits in 10 minutes and block out horrible embarrassments in 10 more. it sounds too great to be true, but if you have an awesome "minds eye" and ACTUALLY DO the exercises it works.

i recommend:
Amazon.com: NLP: The New Technology of Achievement: NLP Comprehensive, Steve Andreas, Charles Faulkner: Books

 

[cherchair]

Depression

Mondo, congratulations for the bravery to take steps to change.

You must have a reputable psychologist if he was able to get you in to see a psychiatrist in two weeks. And it speaks well for your good intentions that he was able to do this for you. Many have to wait up to six months around here if they aren't established. Imagine!

You are certainly not alone. There is a nationwide epidemic of clinical depression at present here in the States.

You will benefit from your attitude of willingness to listen to your doctor and counselor. So working on trust is important. Don't be afraid to ask any questions you have.

Nor be afraid to tell your psychiatrist what you think you need.

Second, doing what they say and having some patience. Improvement won't happen overnight.

Third, a support group for depressed people will speed your recovery. You'd be surprised how much free help you can get from others who are walking your path. People with experience will be glad to help you. I trust this. They know what it feels like.

Plan on building resolve to do some things that you don't want to do!

Finally, recognize that medication is the short-term solution to what may be a long-term issue. It's not a quick or magical cure. If it's prescribed don't be afraid to give it a try. It doesnt mean you will have to take it forever. Sometimes a short period of using medication can lift your mood enough to get you out there and doing things to make yourself feel better.

Patience in this area is important. Sometimes it takes a while to find the correct medication and dosage.

Hopefully you will learn some new coping skills. You can start with self-talk. It's surprising how, when we listen closely to what we say to ourselves, we begin to recognize that our thoughts can be self-defeating. Listen to them all day long and it has the same effect as if someone were following us around all day and saying mean things to us. Not good. We don't like it when others do it. Let's not do it to ourselves!

It takes about thirty days to develop a new habit and this is one you can begin without waiting to see a helper.

Courage, support and persistance will pay off. If it's clinical depression it is not just a bad mood or habit. It's a life-threatening illness and you have every right to take it very seriously.

This is excellent advice. I would add that if antidepressant medication brings not only relief from the depression but a feeling of being high, a decrease in appetite and need for sleep, call your psychiatrist immediately. I know I harp on bipolar too much, but it most often presents as depression and antidepressants can bring on a mania or hypomania. In addition, you're at just the right age for onset and a major life change like leaving home for college can trigger it. I don't want to be an alarmist, just wanted to add this caveat.

 

[Ivy]

All mock-school-spirit aside, Duke really is a fantastic school. I just hate to think of someone having to stay for three more years in a place that makes them unhappy. But with treatment and a change of mindset (easier said than done) I hope it turns around for you.

 

[EcK]

Is there like something with entps and depression or ?

 

[pkr289]

Mondo, I don't know what your personal situation is, but is it possible that your just pissed off?
I've had problems with depression for a while now, it seemed like no matter what I tried I couldn't make it any better. All the things that were supposed to help just made it worse for me, then I figured out that it was pretty much just built up anger that I wasn't able to act on and had to be expressed some way. Since I figured that out it's been much easier to deal with things; I still sometimes get that feeling, but a lot less often and much more controlled.

Does that make any sense?

 

[Anja]

I laffed this morning when I checked in a saw the vectors and Mona Lisa, Mondo. Well, now I'm all better. Maybe you are too. Heh.

If you've been referred by a psychologist, by all means do follow through. It's their job to recognize the real deal and they'll help you figure out the correct means of relief. I repeat - There are no quick fixes to Major Depression. It requires a serious changing of many life habits we've developed which are caused by and which create the problem.

Another thought. A team approach is crucial so make sure that you sign releases of info for both the psychologist and psychiatrist. And it doesn't hurt to give them each a little reminder to stay connected with each other so they are both on the same page with you. This is important.

 

[raz]

Mondo, I'm not sure how much this will help, but I suffered from depression for ~6 years. It was brought on by my father being in a near-death accident when I was 13 as I was moving in between states with just my parents and no siblings. I became incredibly secluded. I quit school and stayed on my computer all day, everyday. I can't remember what I was really thinking at the time. I didn't think I was depressed and I didn't really think there was anything wrong with me. That's weird, now, thinking about it...

For the next 6 years, my parents brought me to see psychiatrists and therapists all the time. I tried doing home-schooling, but couldn't get into it. I didn't really want to do anything, and gained a hundred pounds sitting at my computer playing games which made me become a Diabetic. I was up to 80mg of paxil a day from my psychiatrist. By about the 5th year, my parents were able to get me to get a job. I started to lose a little weight and tried to socialize with coworkers, but it was a massive failure and I quit. About 6-9 months later, I got another job with the help of my parents, and then that helped a great amount. I started making some really good friends at work, but I still spent ALL of my time outside of work on my computer. I was obsessed. It was all I knew, also.

I slowly weened myself off of it, doing more things in the outside world slowly. After a point, I told myself, "I don't need to be playing games all day anymore. I'm going to fix these problems that I've caused." 2 years later, now, I've lost 105 lbs, gone off my medicine, gotten rid of the Diabetes, gotten a new job that pays twice as much and is way more fun, gotten my GED, started college and become *a lot* more socialable. It just took a lot of time. The hardest part was dealing with the transition into a normal life. I'm still trying to deal with it. It's a lot of emotional discipline.

The actual depression wasn't hard for me because I didn't even know I was in one. The hard part was *after* the depression, realizing what had happened, what I had missed and what I needed to do. There were times where I thought I was just fucked, hid in my room and burst into tears.

My bout was more independent, and focused on myself and my relationship with my doctors. I don't know anything about these support groups. A lot of the discipline to come out of it, I brought about on my own. If anyone, and I mean, ANYONE, tells you, "Get a grip on yourself," tell them to fuck off.

 

[The Ü™]

It's funny, because even though I'm now going out in the world and in public (I'm going to school again), I feel a bit more sadness than my usual numbness or anger. Strangely, when I'm around people, I feel even more isolated. I wonder where happiness could be found?

 

[Mitzy]

get a new haircut and wardrobe. maybe that will make you feel better

na, idk...i tend to sleep everything off. frustration & sadness or w/e. i hate dealing with my emotions so i just go to sleep. its bad i know =<
but at least i wake up better. idk if its depression or boredom. maybe i just need a hobby :|

 

[lorkan]

uberfuhrer: But do you have any really close friend? If so, how does it feel talking to them? I'm asking cause I think my ISFP-friend is depressed.