Cheer Up!

[Coriolis]

When you are feeling down or depressed, what cheers you up? Is it always the same thing, or does it depend on circumstances? Does it help for others to try to cheer you up, or does this need to come from something you do on your own? What do you do to cheer your friends up when they are feeling down?

 

[Tater]

I analyze my own emotions and why I have them, then make structural changes to my life to accommodate my wants.

I do believe that talking with people and being honest with them increases my happiness. Talking about negative emotions also has a long term benefit that leads to happiness.

 

[Mole]

It is best to empathise with someone feeling low.

Empathy is uniquely helpful because when we empathise, we know how the other is feeling without feeling it ourselves.

Sympathy is the opposite of empathy, and is not helpful, and means feeling the same as, and signals the virtue of the sympathiser.

Sympathy comes naturally, while empathy is taught and learnt, like learning to play the piano.

The New Age confuses sympathy and empathy by calling those who sympathise, empaths, to flatter and manipulate them.

 

[anticlimatic]

Something about peeling and eating a tart orange always makes me feel a little bit better. I think the peeling process taps into some low key destructive/constructive processes, which are always beneficial to positive mental health (but which the rut of depression can prevent pursuit), and then the sugar and the vitamin C provide somewhat healthy natural energy which can oftentimes be enough of a "jump-start" to get me moving again towards the pursuit and construction of meaning.

 

[Obfuscate]

i am not totally sure what works to be honest... things just drag on and on until they resolve themselves... i can dig about in my head and determine what the source of "my problem" is... generally what is upsetting me is beyond my control, so i settle for distractions... external help only seems to distract unless it is prolonged and/or (i really struggled for this second word and am still displeased with what i landed on) significant... substantial? fuck, i have no idea, but i am sure it is a total pain in the ass for whoever is making the effort... it is like depression has a certain gravity to it... i don't lean too far over the edge to peer in, i might be pulled in deeper... anyhow... distractions and
(most often) ignoring the core problems: a hell of a system, eh?

when it comes to other people i tend to demonstrate that i understand what they are feeling and/or problem solve... i am not the best at cheering some sorts up, but others seem easier... i can generally tell how successful i will be before i begin, and sometimes i use a low chance of success as an excuse not to try...

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Gaming is something that helps me for sure. It requires a lot of focus, and I can immerse myself in another world, be another person. That never fails to cheer me up, or at least take my mind off the subject for awhile. I often play multiplayer, which gives me that social fix as well and doesn't trigger my social anxiety as much. Learning something is also something that cheers me up. Whenever I learn something really interesting, my mind stays on that topic and wants to delve into it more and more. I'm in an inspired mood, and my mind shifts its' focus to that and not the thing that put me in a bad mood.

As for others trying to cheer me up, it's a nice thing to do as long as you don't force me into it. Let me talk about it if I want to talk about it-saying "Cheer up, sweetie" or "Awww, it'll get better." feels awkward and forced. I like it when people try to give me advice, or invite me to do something with them.

As for other people, I simply ask, "Anything I can do?," let them do the talking. I also ask them why they think they feel that way or why something happened, get into the real meat of things. Unfortunately, I'm not confident in the realm of giving advice. I don't know what the best route is, though I can share what worked for me. I also invite them to do something with me, like gaming or art, so we can put our minds on something else, do something productive and interesting. Quality time that'll make the both of us happy.

 

[SD45T-2]

"I hereby sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you cheer up."

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

When you are feeling down or depressed, what cheers you up?

Feline induced oxytocin.

Long walks. (30 minutes to 1 hour)

Music.

Goofy comedic nonsense.

Plenty of food and water.

Is it always the same thing, or does it depend on circumstances?

It depends on the flavor of crappiness. Different forms of crappiness require different appraoches.

Does it help for others to try to cheer you up?

No. At least, I have yet to meet a human that was effective at doing so.

What do you do to cheer your friends up when they are feeling down?

If they need something I can provide, I give them that. It depends on the person and the situation and isn't a one-side fits all approach. I'd like to get better at this, actually.

 

[Frosty]

Usually doing something calming helps.

Reading a book is always good. Also, I like trash movies. Like sharknado or lifetime movies.

Also. I like writing or blogging. Its really helpful to me to have a place to process my thoughts and feelings where I dont feel like Im “bothering” or “burdening” people.

Also games. I love games.

Also like sweets. When Im really distressed or confused or idk struggling... Ive sat there and just focused on eating something comforting. Ive eaten like an entire tub of strawberry icecream at once- just because focusing on that helped me not focus on what was happening in the environment around me.

So... lots of things


Also. Yes it does help when others try to cheer me up. Maybe not everything they say is “the perfect or even the right” thing- but the fact they take the time and care enough to try really means a lot to me. It means that... idk. If others bother to care maybe Im not... not worth it. Maybe I matter, just a little. Maybe Im not alone. Maybe I shouldnt feel like Im garbage. It helps, a ton, for me

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Probably practicing gratitude. Years ago a friend of mine shared a quote with me that went something like this: "Imagine if you only ever woke up with that which you thanked God for the previous evening." I'm agnostic, but it still works and it's kind of breathtaking to spend several minutes considering everything that routinely gets taken for granted.

Also feline induced oxycontin.

 

[Lark]

When you are feeling down or depressed, what cheers you up? Is it always the same thing, or does it depend on circumstances? Does it help for others to try to cheer you up, or does this need to come from something you do on your own? What do you do to cheer your friends up when they are feeling down?

Its depends.

Depression proper? Not much that anyone else can do about it, other than monitor the mental state to ensure it doesnt deteriorate to danger zone. At that point I think its the realm of psychiatric medications and safety planning that'll help and not much else.

Besides that, like much, much less severe low moods, I'd say there's a lot which can help, nice beverages, favourite beverages, food, warm house, warm shower, nice products for bath and shower, exercise (especially), weight lifting, reading fiction, particularly sci fi and fantasy, writing/journalling, all of those things help.

Social contacts and connectedness all really help but being connected to the rest of humanity can take a lot of shapes and formats, music, TV, books, art work, there's a lot but its that connectedness which matters, or so I would say. So it can be on my own. It can be with others and I kind of like to thing its a mixture of the both in practice.

I do try to help out others as I would like to helped myself but also as that in itself can be something which makes me happy too. I've been told I'm a radiator rather than a drain when it comes to energy, which is nice, although when you are inclined to be that way I find you need to be careful as some people hate that (seriously, yes, I have met people who for whatever reason will want to harm anyone who isnt miserable) or they simply will become emotional vampires.

 

[Maou]

I am resistant to change, and that includes for the better. It takes a while for me to feel better or worse.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

If other people are actively trying to cheer me up, I can feel pressured. It tends to make me feel like they are needing me cheery, and if I'm not up to it, I'll acknowledge their kind intention, but I don't really seek people out to cheer me up, expect them to, or feel negatively if they don't.

Going on a walk helps because I've learned that I have X amount of energy and the more I put into physical exertion, the less I have for emotions of any kind, including negative emotions.

The best thing for me is something really funny suddenly happening. My cats are good at cheering me up because if I'm crying they will look at me confused and make a funny sounding meow. Sometimes I manage to cheer myself up when I suddenly see something in a new light as hilarious. Sudden, random hilarity is good, and I can juxtapose that with the most darkest and horrific feelings.

 

[Stigmata]

When I'm feeling down I mostly retreat into my kryptonian fortress of solitude (which is usually just my noise-canceling headphones and some music that matches my emotional state) -- I'm not sure people can really cheer me up because most times when I'm feeling down or depressed I just want to be left alone to process my thoughts and feelings.

When others are feeling down, however, I do try to offer words of encouragement while offering to help them sort through their emotions and provide some sort of rational advice that hopefully helps them navigate through whatever it is they're feeling.

 

[ceecee]

My first choice would definitely be to work in my garden. I get a workout and the payoff is no weeds or new veg in the ground or flowers or whatever. I like to cook and bake and feeding people is something I certainly do instinctively too. I also enjoy painting - no matter if it's watercolors or a room. Getting lost in a book is something I do most every day and maybe that helps keep feeling down at bay.

Just a disclaimer - feeling down is not depression. I've had the postpartum variety none of ^^ is going to solve that.

Friends and family feeling down? I don't usually wait for people to tell me they need help when they are down because they won't. It's the rare time this is met with displeasure so if I'm just leaving a bag of groceries or driving their kids home or simply listening - I do that.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Social contacts and connectedness all really help but being connected to the rest of humanity can take a lot of shapes and formats, music, TV, books, art work, there's a lot but its that connectedness which matters, or so I would say. So it can be on my own. It can be with others and I kind of like to thing its a mixture of the both in practice.

If I'm not mindful about who I interact with (and/or not mindful that I'm in need of cheering up) then interaction with others can easily have the opposite effect. I find most people more draining than not. And this isn't necessarily a mark of their character so much as simply not having enough in common. But interaction with people that falls on energizing end of the spectrum - that's probably the most effective way to cheer up, for me. At least in spurts. It can reach the point of diminishing returns if I don't get enough time to myself.

If other people are actively trying to cheer me up, I can feel pressured. It tends to make me feel like they are needing me cheery, and if I'm not up to it, I'll acknowledge their kind intention, but I don't really seek people out to cheer me up, expect them to, or feel negatively if they don't.

I find this so draining, when people seem to need (or think they need) to 'cheer' me up. It's one thing if they make an attempt, they see it does not have the effect they'd hoped for and they can move on/leave me alone without taking it personally - that much I'll perceive as earnestly kind attempts to spread cheer, and I might even feel bad about being such a curmudgeon. But when people feel some need to cheer me up and then have a bad reaction to me wanting none of it (which belies the extent to which it's all actually about filling their own needs) - that is so incredibly draining. I'm especially sensitive to this as an e5, but there's little in this world that has more of a polar opposite of 'cheering up' effect on me.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I find this so draining, when people seem to need (or think they need) to 'cheer' me up. It's one thing if they make an attempt, they see it does not have the effect they'd hoped for and they can move on/leave me alone without taking it personally - that much I'll perceive as earnestly kind attempts to spread cheer, and I might even feel bad about being such a curmudgeon. But when people feel some need to cheer me up and then have a bad reaction to me wanting none of it (which belies the extent to which it's all actually about filling their own needs) - that is so incredibly draining. I'm especially sensitive to this as an e5, but there's little in this world that has more of a polar opposite of 'cheering up' effect on me.

I can appreciate this. I have mostly found that when people are 'cheering me up' they explain the reasons I shouldn't feel what I feel. The premise is 'how to eliminate this emotion'. I tend to know the answer better than they do, so have found talking to people to not serve much purpose. I feel responsible for my emotions and have knowledge about it. I don't feel lost and flailing even when they ar negative. I don't think feeling badly is 'doing it wrong'. I think I'm doing it right actually, so generally keep to myself, except in parallel type discussions.

 

[Lark]

If I'm not mindful about who I interact with (and/or not mindful that I'm in need of cheering up) then interaction with others can easily have the opposite effect. I find most people more draining than not. And this isn't necessarily a mark of their character so much as simply not having enough in common. But interaction with people that falls on energizing end of the spectrum - that's probably the most effective way to cheer up, for me. At least in spurts. It can reach the point of diminishing returns if I don't get enough time to myself.

To a certain extent I agree, there are people who are "radiators" and others who are "drains", there is a great deal of truth in the idea that "before you diagnose yourself with depression ensure you are not surrounded by assholes" too.

I do think that extroversion and introversion matter and can decide or influence social predisposition, whether or not connection seems to matter.

Although, most of the people I find who are chronically miserable, not just the pathological lack of mental or emotional well being, are experiencing some kind of disconnect. I dont think it necessarily has to be directly to people, like I say, people can be on a desert island and feel themselves connected to humanity in the abstract or in general, which works, to boost the mood somehow, books and other media can do it too because it provides the semblance of that connection too.

 

[Klaus V.]

Listening to music almost always helps improving my mood at least a little bit, and I get depressed more easily if I can't listen to music. Watching YouTube or researching on specific topics also helps, but not if I'm really depressed and anhedonia sets in.

 

[Mole]

During wartime the rates of depression go down, as we are working or even sacrificing ourselves for others, but the price we pay to live in a peaceful society based on extreme individualism is depression.

And instead of making propaganda that the alternative to extreme individualism is collectivism, socialism, or communism, we see more traditional societies work better.

In fact four prosperous, democratic societies, based on human rights, are joining together across the globe to form CANZUK (Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Britain), based on sovereign States, sovereign law, free trade, and free movement of citizens, all under the traditional Head of State, Queen Elizabeth II.

We respond to our environment, and we respond to an environment of extreme individualism with depression, while we respond to a traditional society under Queen Elizabeth II with good humour.