"Most girls aren't funny" they say

[Mole]

I've heard it in passing, but a person who doesn't always catch the difference between joke and serious (but stupid) statements, I always assumed it was a joke? As someone who also has 0 sense of humor, perhaps I'm not the best judge lol

That 'women are not funny' is actually a joke, and like many jokes it is offensive, and women tend to take offence. What is more interesting is to unpack the joke, and see what it means, and how it helps us understand women and men. After all, we are mystery to each other.

 

[Totenkindly]

I feel like a lot of humor exhibition is role-based. For example, if someone is in a position where they need to manage an environment, or if they are feeling like they need to be taken seriously, then they're going to focus on creating more structure. If they're not the person in charge or feel more comfortable in the role, then they are usually more flexible and can give their humor sense more free reign.

I guess the roles of men and women could be discussed in various settings (like a marriage, a family with children, a work place environment) to see how this can often play out. Like, are men granted social power in groups more easily than women are, and in what contexts? Or in a family situation, who is expected to provide stability and who is expected to be fun or just assumes the role of "fun one"?

I do know when I've been in positions of leadership, sometimes I find things hilariously funny but have to offer a low-key response in order to maintain stability / just ensure things stay of track. Behind the scenes, I actually push the humor level, which has surprised people at times if they have only experienced me in one setting.

It's really hard to draw HUGE observations about men and women and humor, since the population is so huge and you will always find a variety of people in your day to day who don't follow the collective norm. I guess I find more "combative" humor among men -- get them in a group and they're liable to fall into a series of "one-up's" and smack talking, casually, and find it a lot of fun. Women seem to use humor to stress experiences they've shared. Yes, women can smack talk each other but it's usually over something serious to stake out turf and not just for fun. My ESFP friend (male) laughs at a lot of my jokes and says he thinks I'm a strong woman "because i can take [his jokes]." The insinuation is that he is used to women getting more offended to the kinds of jokes he makes. But as I said, you will find exceptions -- we all probably know a woman who likes hanging out with guys and they see her as "one of the guys" and I bet her humor style fits better in with how men joke with each other, and the same goes for the guy who like spending time with women and finds their angle more comfortable.

I do remember that studies of dating profiles on social media seemed to suggest that men look for women who laugh at their jokes (and view them as having a sense of humor if they do laugh a lot), while women valued a sense of humor in their male partners. (I'm kind of curious how same-sex relationships work all that out, I don't remember seeing studies of that.) I have also found myself laughing at the jokes of people I'm attracted to, as a sign of interest, and tend to make jokes just around people I'm good friends with of either gender.

 

[The Cat]

What if they already have the girl / it's their girlfriend? What if the girl is not around when they are saying it, and it's just bragging to people about her or complimenting her? What if they don't have an interest in the girl romantically and already are friends with benefits upon saying it? What do you think it would mean then? Still flattery?

I suspected possible flattery also, until taking note of these factors. Perhaps in your mind this doesn't stop it from being the case, however? Or perhaps you come up with alternate ideas I have not thought of...

no, not nessesarily they could just simply be bragging on you, personally that makes me suspicious but I am broken in some ways where my hearts should be. im given to understand that people like bragging upon that which they are proud of. of course in the above intimate situations, you cant nessesarily rule out that he's trying to bond with you on a deeper level and is just kind of not sure the best way to go about it, he might want to compliment you on something that has nothing to do with your looks and something he values in your personality. guys are individuals same as girls but often lost in translation. he could just be innterested in getting to know you better, because he thinks youre funny, and funny friends are good friends to have if you've ever been sad and alone before.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

When you heard it in passing what was the context? If multiple people said it, were there any patterns? Who was it directed toward; was it love interests, or perhaps friends/acquaintances, were they flirting? Whatever details seem potentially significant.

It's been mentioned at my school, my brother sent me a really funny video with that as the primary punchline, and generally passing online. The pattern is that only men have mentioned it and (outside of the case with my brother, since this is just fitting with his style of humor which is not typically meant to be taken seriously and replied with "nah you funny" after my joking response of "lol this is a personal attack") it's usually kind said by guys who usually make jokes or comments about women? It's generally undirected/general joke or nervously spoken after someone's crossed a line (in which case the intention is far more clear haha). It's strange to think people would actually think this way genuinely, so I kind of just assumed it was joking or used purely by the insecure type of man, but writing it out it appears that in some of these instances it may have actually been a serious comment. I'm pretty dense in general to things like this, it doesn't surprise me I haven't noticed till now haha.

That 'women are not funny' is actually a joke, and like many jokes it is offensive, and women tend to take offence. What is more interesting is to unpack the joke, and see what it means, and how it helps us understand women and men. After all, we are mystery to each other.

This makes sense honestly/is a valid response. I forget how inattentive I am sometimes, even as a "woman in stem" I didn't really notice the jabs that many other women in my field have felt pushing them away from pursuing fields that are male dominated. I'm dense as lead, but in this case that seems to have been fairly helpful in maintaining unbothered by a lack of understanding/sensitivity on some men's parts.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Online I'm not as much of a comedian as I am in RL. In RL I'm always joking, cutting up, teasing. I have a very 1 on 1 style humor. A lot of guys mistake it for flirting. Personally, I've always wondered if my style was Sx, because it's not flirting. It's just more personalized, focused on an individual, kind of tailored to them based on the overtones of their personality that I can pick up on. I wonder if a lot of girls "tone it down" around guys because they're afraid it will be mistaken for flirting? I know that I have done this many times, as it has been mistaken for flirting many times. Perhaps it's not that most women aren't funny (due to social norms, mating rituals, or whateverthefuck), but that many of them don't reveal the fact that they are because they're afraid of it being misinterpreted, thus leading into awkward, annoying, or problematic social situations?

 

[Mole]

Hey, I just made a joke. A woman appeared in front of me and asked if she could take one of my chairs for her table, so quick as a whip, I said, "As long as you look after it, it has been sat on all its life, but I am sure you will look after it". Now I don't think this is very funny, so I didn't laugh, but she did. Did I reach her through her ears?

 

[Mole]

There is a serious question of free speech. It is now fashionable to take offence and cancel the offender.

We so readily take offence because we are all linked emotionally on the net across the globe, so we can't please all the people all the time, so some of the time we are bound to give offence.

So we now have a serious choice. Should we join Cancel Culture, or should we stand for free speech, which means no free speech without the freedom to offend?

Really the question is do we want to be inoffensive and conform to Cancel Culture, or do we wish to continue to individuate with free speech.

I am not neutral on this, I think free speech is necessary for the health of liberal democracy, and necessary for the mental health of individuals. I have been ostracised to the Graveyard for a very long time, but because I believe in free speech I never gave up. And here I am.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Ok yeah. Either catty/attitude, or lots of sexual joking. Tis the pattern I'm noticing as I search for female comedians.

 

[Mole]

Ok yeah. Either catty/attitude, or lots of sexual joking. Tis the pattern I'm noticing as I search for female comedians.

Good heavens, humour displays confidence, while most women want to be married in white to show their purity and their virginity. Women publicly display their sexual innocence, their lack of sexual confidence, in competition with other women.

So men sexually display confidence through humour, while women sexually display innocence and a complete lack of sexual confidence. Otherwise we would not be here.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Good heavens, humour displays confidence, while most women want to be married in white to show their purity and their virginity. Women publicly display their sexual innocence, their lack of sexual confidence, in competition with other women.

So men sexually display confidence through humour, while women sexually display innocence and a complete lack of sexual confidence. Otherwise we would not be here.

I think this is a rather outdated view, tbh. Also, lol that's not why women marry in white. It's just a tradition.

 

[Mole]

I think this is a rather outdated view, tbh. Also, lol that's not why women marry in white. It's just a tradition.

We only have to share the emotions of one woman marrying in white to know it is more than just a tradition. It is a deep expression of the female psyche.

 

[Mole]

If I am attracted to a woman, it does not mean I can reach out and physically touch her, rather I can touch her quite intimately through her ears. by making her laugh and shake all over - Baby!

 

[Mind Maverick]

We only have to share the emotions of one woman marrying in white to know it is more than just a tradition. It is a deep expression of the female psyche.

If I am attracted to a woman, it does not mean I can reach out and physically touch her, rather I can touch her quite intimately through her ears. by making her laugh and shake all over - Baby!

You're going a bit off-topic here, bro.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Satire video

 

[Mind Maverick]

Here's the opinion of Christopher Hitchens, who believes this:

 

[Mind Maverick]

Here's another dude talking about it.

I can't say I see eye to eye with this one, but it's input nonetheless, and potential insight into the people who are making these claims. (Is there any truth to it? Is there a certain "type" of guy saying it? Why do some guys think this? Does it say more about the person saying it than it says about women? Is this a reaction based thing where women are shutting down their humor around certain men they think will wrongfully assume it means they're interested?)

 

[Jaq]

Women aren't funny? News to me honestly. I never really think about if a specific biological sex is funny or not, I just try to treat each person on a case by case basis. People are people after all.

 

[Maou]

I wonder if the reason people find me funny, is because I am ugly and have a masculine personality. Gotta compensate for my lack of looks.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

That's not true, in my experience.

Here's the opinion of Christopher Hitchens, who believes this:

Christopher Hitchens was an ass.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Women aren't funny? News to me honestly. I never really think about if a specific biological sex is funny or not, I just try to treat each person on a case by case basis. People are people after all.

Same here, tbh...but this is a viewpoint I'm trying to understand because it's something I've heard several times. It's not that I necessarily agree or disagree with it even, but I'm investigating it and trying to make sense of these comments. That may mean seeing things from others' point of views without agreeing, or it may mean discovering some sort of social norm being pushed onto people, or whatever else. I just want to wrap my head around it, its prevalence, how common it is, how many people disagree, why they disagree, why they believe this comment is true (assuming they do believe it and it isn't flattery) or what reasoning lies behind it, whether that reasoning possesses any validity, etc.