• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Timing is everything?

Littlelostnf

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
645
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I was about 22/23 when I first found out my MBTI type. At that point, I had two decades and change worth of living that I could look back at and start to determine how my life up to that point fit in with what my "type" was suppose to be like. Also at that point there wasn't nearly the flood of information both supported or unsupported about personality and temperment as there is now. I didn't go back to college until I was 28 and then I truly studied psychology and particularly personality. My point is I had some time behind me when I seriously started contemplating personality....and what that meant for me.

My question to you all is..What do you all think the age at which your type is determined has to do with your development. Is knowing what your type is suppose to be lead you one way or another?

Thoughts...experiences.....strong opinions....thanks.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I was thirty when I learned my MBTI type. I think it gave me permission to be who I was more than anything.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Did it help you fine tune things or did you simply say...Ahha!
Primarily Ahha! It more helped me to see where other people were coming from. For instance, I realized that my husband wasn't intentionally foiling all my plans, he's just a P and feels differently about plans and decisions than I do.
 

Rajah

Reigning Bologna Princess
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,774
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7
I learned my type at 18. It still didn't help me avoid law school. In other words, knowing it still hasn't helped me avoid the pitfalls of being an INTP.
 

Lookin4theBestNU

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
801
MBTI Type
ENFj
Enneagram
2w3
My question to you all is..What do you all think the age at which your type is determined has to do with your development. Is knowing what your type is suppose to be lead you one way or another?
I took the MBTI in my early 20s. I do think it changed the way I developed. It helped me 'come to terms' with issues that probably would've taken much longer without it. I always carried with me a feeling of loneliness (though I think this is inherent to human nature not necessarily relating to type). I couldn't understand why that undercurrent was intense and ever present with me though. I know in hindsight that MBTI put together and made sense of some experiences that I had no previous explanation for. I started a search for other Intuitives. I think in some ways it increased that feeling of being alone. I realized by my late 20s that there were hardly any around me-and probably never would be. I think forums now give me an outlet to talk to other Ns and learn more about the Ss around me. I do not however try to force myself into ENFJ-like only behaviors. The MBTI is certainly not perfect and I have some 'P tendencies' that I usually enjoy! It did if anything however give me a feeling self-acceptance "typical ENFJ" or not and more tolerance of others as well. I imagine as I mature these things will gradually increase.
 

Littlelostnf

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
645
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I took the MBTI in my early 20s. I do think it changed the way I developed. It helped me 'come to terms' with issues that probably would've taken much longer without it. I always carried with me a feeling of loneliness (though I think this is inherent to human nature not necessarily relating to type). I couldn't understand why that undercurrent was intense and ever present with me though. I know in hindsight that MBTI put together and made sense of some experiences that I had no previous explanation for. I started a search for other Intuitives. I think in some ways it increased that feeling of being alone. I realized by my late 20s that there were hardly any around me-and probably never would be. I think forums now give me an outlet to talk to other Ns and learn more about the Ss around me. I do not however try to force myself into ENFJ-like only behaviors. The MBTI is certainly not perfect and I have some 'P tendencies' that I usually enjoy! It did if anything however give me a feeling self-acceptance "typical ENFJ" or not and more tolerance of others as well. I imagine as I mature these things will gradually increase.

I have to say I agree with the increased feelings of being alone. But I was happy to be given some type of explanation as to why I felt that way. I am fortunate to have around me (and all but 3 cultivated after I learned about the MBTI) N friends. No other ENFJ's but plenty of ENFP's INFJ's and INFP's (one of my sisters included in that)

Also coming to terms with things about myself. Definately helped me there also.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,145
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I first "discovered" MBTI when I was in my mid-20's.

For me, it was an "A-Ha!" moment. Everything I had sort of figured out already, the patterns I had been trying to discern in the many people I had experienced in my life, suddenly fell into place. I sometimes wish I had discovered it earlier, since I had always possessed a great deal of self-doubt/mistrust, and it would have helped alleviate my sense of being an outsider to humanity. This would have been extremely beneficial during my adolescence, because I literally was alone in terms of "figuring out life" and had no wise adult to help me get a hold of things.

My conflicts and differences were no longer necessarily because something was "wrong" with me or because I was an "alien" and unworthy to be part of the community -- I was actually just what i was supposed to be, along with everyone else in life.

Like cafe said, it also freed me up to accept other people. They were not particularly trying to stymie or reject/hurt me, they were just being who they were. Understanding the foundational "life orientation" of different types of people helped me see things much more clearly and derive people's intentions/motivations more clearly, and even be more accepting of them *and* more helpful because I was seeing who they could be rather than expecting their "ideal self' to resemble *me*. Forgiveness came more easily.

I think MBTI is useful in terms of taking what you already know about yourself to the next level. It offers the typical patterns of people who focus on certain functions, thus helping you see what a more efficient and idealized self might look like... giving you something to shoot for.
 

Littlelostnf

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
645
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I first "discovered" MBTI when I was in my mid-20's.

For me, it was an "A-Ha!" moment. Everything I had sort of figured out already, the patterns I had been trying to discern in the many people I had experienced in my life, suddenly fell into place. I sometimes wish I had discovered it earlier, since I had always possessed a great deal of self-doubt/mistrust, and it would have helped alleviate my sense of being an outsider to humanity. This would have been extremely beneficial during my adolescence, because I literally was alone in terms of "figuring out life" and had no wise adult to help me get a hold of things.

Fortunato mentions that knowing about MBTI earlier would have helped him during his adolescence. Anyone here feel differently? I'm wondering if those younger forum members can be or have been overly influenced by knowing their type. I'm just fleshing this out in my head so this is all just a process but...I'm wondering if it would simply be better to have parents know a childs type and be able to work with their adolescent with understanding then to have an adolescent know their type. Could it be that knowing could be detrimental to some extent...JUST ASKING.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
Fortunato mentions that knowing about MBTI earlier would have helped him during his adolescence. Anyone here feel differently? I'm wondering if those younger forum members can be or have been overly influenced by knowing their type. I'm just fleshing this out in my head so this is all just a process but...I'm wondering if it would simply be better to have parents know a childs type and be able to work with their adolescent with understanding then to have an adolescent know their type. Could it be that knowing could be detrimental to some extent...JUST ASKING.

If they become too stuck with the notion of they want to be/must be this one type then yes. But I doubt such will happen to forum members here regardless of how young they are. I think most of the older folks agrees on the strength and weaknesses of isolated function use and the detrimental effects on pigeonholing individuals based on "test results". And they reflect that in their posts. However this is a problem for teenagers who just skim read info avaliable online without understand of the theory behind it.
 

Xander

Lex Parsimoniae
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
4,463
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9w8
I learned my type when I was 18. My ENTJ father finally got fed up with the questions and thrust the form into my hands and told me to return it completed.

I think the results brought more of an aha from him than me. For me the most useful thing was seeing what I already knew about myself written in a form which made holistic sense and gave me a base upon which to build my new theories and developments.

Personally I'm with my father on this one. Don't type people till they are like teenaged probably around 15-16. It's just not helpful to the psyche to have such a "role model" when your young and inexperienced.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,145
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If they become too stuck with the notion of they want to be/must be this one type then yes. But I doubt such will happen to forum members here regardless of how young they are. I think most of the older folks agrees on the strength and weaknesses of isolated function use and the detrimental effects on pigeonholing individuals based on "test results". And they reflect that in their posts. However this is a problem for teenagers who just skim read info avaliable online without understand of the theory behind it.

Yes, information can be instructive or destructive, depending on how it's used. The power to heal and cure is the same power to hurt and destroy.

I've used it to understand my kids (ages 8-12) but have never really talked to them about MBTI as of yet. In our interactions, we deal with them as individuals, although we'll say things like, "Certain types of people approach it this way, you and other types of people might approach it this way" -- enough to be useful, not enough to pigeonhole. Our middle kid knows he's the only "extrovert" in a family of introverts... but that it's okay, and that he's "normal" and not weird. (Even if he's, err, loud.)

Basically, it gives me what information I need to make sure they're free to be as healthy and "themselves" as possible, but I also take them at face value and try not to over-interpret their actions.

I think part of it comes down to interaction. The destructive people tend to learn a system, then apply it as a replacement for communication and relationship... rather than as a supplement. It's used to protect or conserve oneself and one's energies, in some way.

And I guess in lines with that, I'd have to say that any sort of guidance (whether MBTI or not) from a parental figure is what is essential here, to help the child grow up and mature in a healthy realistic way. If the parental figure is getting across that the child is unique, has value, and that the "way he works" is not inherently better or worse than another, but simply valuable in itself, then that's what matters. MBTI is just a tool to accomplish that.
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
enfp
I realized after the fact that I had taken a test here and there and was once typed as an ESFJ. I was almost 33 when I started checking out INTPc and realized that I was infact an enfp. From there I searched some forums for some info, and yes the more I looked the more I realized that I am an enfp.

I have since learned that I married an ENTP, so depending where we are in life each of us has to take turns jumping into the 'J' role, other wise nothing gets done here. We have a house full of half finished projects. My mom is a J and so is his mom.... coming to our house drives them each crazy! (ah sweet revenge ;) )


Knowing about my type and my husbands type has been well refreshing and has brought a lot of understanding to our relationship and our lives. I know what our personality weaknesses are and I can better predict where we're going.

I am certain that my daughter is an exfp..... she is a preformer once she's comfortable

my middle son I would type as an entj,,,, super smart and witty and very candid and gregarious. He's out there. Yet he loves order.....

my youngest is too smart for his own good and quite the comedian... guessing for now an entp.. his personality is the most like his daddys.


They're young but since I have such a love for understanding personality and philosophical things I so very much enjoy this.
 

Langrenus

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
358
Personally I'm with my father on this one. Don't type people till they are like teenaged probably around 15-16. It's just not helpful to the psyche to have such a "role model" when your young and inexperienced.

I spoke to an occupational psychologist about this. Her view was that most psychometric tests produce relatively meaningless results before the age of 16 or so - apparently studies have been run on children and teenagers, with the finding being that individuals will provide wildly different answers even across short timeframes as they are either:
a) unable to completely comprehend what the questions are asking of them (primarily in pre-teens), or
b) going through such an enormous physical, hormonal and psychological changes that any answers they provide are not stable

Not sure if people concur, or if anyone has heard something different to this? A natural response might be that giving a 6 year old a MBTI test is obviously stupid, but that you can still judge for yourself externally. I'm not sure I would agree with that logic, particularly if you're not trained. I accept that certain traits might be very clear from an early age (I have always been a clear introvert, for instance), but at the same time I don't think that 'boxing' children in what is quite a detailed system is necessarily healthy. Many people show remarkable changes in relatively short periods of time at young ages, or might act quite differently when the observer isn't around. Moreover, anyone who can look into someone else's head is a magician to me :) I also wonder if the tendency for people to 'live up' to their type might also be stronger amongst the young...if you're full of angst and feeling a bit uncomfortable it's an incredibly easy crutch to lean on.

I hasten to add I'm not judging here, particularly as I don't have kids. Just looking to discuss.

Personally I found out my MBTI type just a few months ago (age 22) and definitely found it an 'ah ha' moment. Even more so when we ran some communication exercises across diametrically opposed teams (INTJs 'vs' ESFPs, etc), which hammered home just how much different people can perceive your words and actions (and fail to understand where the hell you're coming from)...to me this is the real strength of the system. I don't really need to understand myself (or perhaps I just arrogantly assume I don't), but what I really do need is a mechanism to help me understand other people and their motives. And I think the Myers-Briggs model does this...it offers just the right balance to make it relatively easily applicable but also realistically differential.
 

Littlelostnf

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
645
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I spoke to an occupational psychologist about this. Her view was that most psychometric tests produce relatively meaningless results before the age of 16 or so - apparently studies have been run on children and teenagers, with the finding being that individuals will provide wildly different answers even across short timeframes as they are either:
a) unable to completely comprehend what the questions are asking of them (primarily in pre-teens), or
b) going through such an enormous physical, hormonal and psychological changes that any answers they provide are not stable

Not sure if people concur, or if anyone has heard something different to this? A natural response might be that giving a 6 year old a MBTI test is obviously stupid, but that you can still judge for yourself externally. I'm not sure I would agree with that logic, particularly if you're not trained. I accept that certain traits might be very clear from an early age (I have always been a clear introvert, for instance), but at the same time I don't think that 'boxing' children in what is quite a detailed system is necessarily healthy. Many people show remarkable changes in relatively short periods of time at young ages, or might act quite differently when the observer isn't around. Moreover, anyone who can look into someone else's head is a magician to me :) I also wonder if the tendency for people to 'live up' to their type might also be stronger amongst the young...if you're full of angst and feeling a bit uncomfortable it's an incredibly easy crutch to lean on.


This is sort of what I was talking about. I tend to think that unless they are amazingly mature most young people aged 16-20 are changing "daily" I think that they might do just as Langrenus supposes and find their supposed type "an incredibly easy crutch to lean on". I think that finding out your type when older enables you to have the experience of finding out about you first and then fitting what you know into your type. I don't completely disagree with Fortunato that it might help some who are not confident but I think more than them knowing their type...the important people around them knowing about type would assist them more.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,145
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't completely disagree with Fortunato that it might help some who are not confident but I think more than them knowing their type...the important people around them knowing about type would assist them more.

Well, I would probably agree with that. (I was mostly thinking about myself, since that was the question asked.) But it's more useful for the surrounding adults, who will guide the adolescent without necessarily even referring to type.

for example, I'm sure that practiced teachers already have an informal understanding of type (or aspects of it), recognizing certain groupings of students and what sort of content and presentation will best help them.
 

Martoon

perdu fleur par bologne
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
1,361
MBTI Type
INTP
he's just a P and feels differently about plans and decisions than I do.
i.e., you think plans and decisions are a good thing. ;)

My ENTJ father finally got fed up with the questions and thrust the form into my hands and told me to return it completed.
And he's an ENTJ, you say? Surely you jest!

especially the third year when I skipped 80% of my classes.
Ah, yes, college. Sadly I've found that employers aren't nearly as accommodating. No sense of humor at all.


Anyway, I discovered MBTI when I was 19 or so. I can't honestly say that it affected my development in any way. I found it interesting, and there was maybe a bit of epiphany involved, but I don't think it really changed my self-perception, or perception of others, in a meaningful way. At least, not that I'm aware of.

But I think there are a lot of people for whom it provides something useful. It can provide a kind of "official" validation for who they are, and help them maximize that potential.

On the other hand, I think there are people who use it as an excuse, or absolution, for any kind of negative behavior. And of course, there's the all-too-familiar stereotyping (You XX's are all the same, etc.).
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
i.e., you think plans and decisions are a good thing. ;)
Not so much good as vital. I don't like to plan and I don't like decisions, but if you don't take care of them, you don't get to pick where you end up (sometimes you don't anyway, but it helps to know where you want to go), and end up someplace that is not where you want to be at all.
 
Top