How much freedom did you have as a child?

[anticlimatic]

And what effect did it have on your personality?

I grew up in a different era and in a safe neighborhood, so as soon as I was old enough to ride a bike my parents gave me (mostly) free reign to explore as I pleased so long as I was home by dinner or bed. I'd always push the boundaries of my known world, and was often rewarded with remarkable discoveries that I could call my own- old ponds, walkways, and on one occasion a magnificent abandoned hotel rotting away in what felt like the middle of nowhere. I think it taught me independence, how to rely on tools/mecha for survival, and how to depend on myself. It also imbued me with a penchant for exploration that has endured through my ghost-town hunting adulthood.

Whats your story?

 

[Maou]

As free as a slave.

Childhood gave me cPTSD.

 

[Abcdenfp]

I was left to my own devices most of my childhood. Only child until i was 7 so i spent the vast majority of my time outside , seeking magic in nature, creating stories in my mind and leaning on my active imagination for company.

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

I grew up in the 2000s, so my family wouldn't fathom me walking around the neighborhood so freely. I didn't live in a particularly bad neighborhood, but my area was kind of redneck-y. I did go biking with a friend around the trailer park, but that's cause I was with a friend and not alone. Never have I heard the term "be back for supper.". They felt a bit iffy about me going to friends' houses, but I still convinced them(couldn't go to sleepovers though). I played outside, but it was usually hanging in my own back yard looking at plants. Yeah, my parents weren't that strict overall, but there were a couple weird rules. For awhile, I wasn't allowed to google things? Unless it was something for school, I had to rely on sites I already knew. Also I wasn't allowed to wear tank tops/bathing suits until I was like 15. So I would wear a t-shirt and shorts to the pool, and for dances at school I had to wear long sleeved dresses which definitely made me stand out. I remember my mom buying me t-shirts in the boys section because she complained that the girl's shirts showed too much cleavage.

What effects did it have? I don't think it had a huge effect, maybe me feeling a bit isolated. I'd have rather been at home playing Sims 2 or Guitar Hero though, so I didn't really care about not getting out much. My mom always wanted to me to go outside more, and in my head it was like, "You wouldn't let me anyway!" to when I actually wanted to get out.

 

[Morpeko]

I had no friends as a child and teenager, so my parents didn't have to make any rules regarding me meeting people they don't know. Lucky them.

They did shelter me quite a bit. I wasn't allowed to leave the house and walk around without permission. Mainly because my mom is paranoid that I'd be kidnapped and killed. They wanted to know wherever I went, how long it would take, etc. Her paranoia rubbed off on me, so now I'm still scared to walk around alone outside of the house.

 

[Luminous]

I was an only child and had a lot of freedom. I think I walked home from elementary school most days from 1st grade onward, basically by myself. In 6th grade, there was a rumor about a creep talking to kids, offering them rides, so my parents gave me pepper spray to carry, and I also had an umbrella that could have been used as a weapon. After school, after usually having a snack with my dad, he'd go back to work (in a different building but same property), and I'd have the house to myself. I usually stayed inside, watching tv, reading, playing games or with toys, but there were some times I explored on my own, in addition to spending a good amount of time outside with my dog and the rabbits who lived wild in our yard.

There weren't many kids around where I lived. But a neighbor had a granddaughter who visited on weekends and we became good friends. As long as we were at her place or mine, we had a lot of freedom. As I got older, there were no restrictions on clothing, sleepovers were just fine, they didn't have to interview other kids' parents before I spent time with them.

I think the main effect all this had on me is that I am used to a lot of time to myself, rarely get bored, and don't like being micromanaged. If I hadn't been as responsible as I was, didn't get the grades I got, I'm sure my parents would have decreased my freedom to get me to focus/out of trouble. But I was a kid who I think was easy to raise. I'm sure a lot of people would think I didn't take enough advantage of the freedom I did have.

 

[GoggleGirl17]

I had freedom in the sense that I didn't grow up with any rules. However, I was not free to enjoy peace of mind. My father was extremely vocal and intrusive about his views. If the slightest thing went wrong, like if he knocked something over, he would lose his temper and rant loudly about how it's society's fault and wish ill on other people, rather than focus on a solution. This was pretty much every day I had to listen to him, and most of the time the things he said would make my blood boil. He would also try to draw me into conversations I didn't want to have to try to get me to validate him, and if I ever disagreed, he would get pissed off and argue with me even after I said I didn't want to argue anymore.

I'm very aware of what I want and don't want in my life because I got the chance to experience both of these things growing up, so I will not stay in situations I don't want to be in or around people that impact me negatively. On the downside, I have a tendency to censor my thoughts because I'm afraid of becoming my dad and reliving the stress of my childhood (I coped by fighting fire with fire).

 

[Luminous]

I had freedom in the sense that I didn't grow up with any rules. However, I was not free to enjoy peace of mind. My father was extremely vocal and intrusive about his views. If the slightest thing went wrong, like if he knocked something over, he would lose his temper and rant loudly about how it's society's fault and wish ill on other people, rather than focus on a solution. This was pretty much every day I had to listen to him, and most of the time the things he said would make my blood boil. He would also try to draw me into conversations I didn't want to have to try to get me to validate him, and if I ever disagreed, he would get pissed off and argue with me even after I said I didn't want to argue anymore.

I can relate with some of that - the ranting, ranting all the time about society, the news, cops, whatever.

 

[Black Sun]

If my mom could control how much oxygen is flowing through my blood she would. I was very sheltered and overprotected. I got used to my time alone and developed my imagination to entertain myself and have the life that I wanted. If I wasn't submitting to my mother's will, thinking just like her, or I somehow accidentally offended her she would explode or insult me or try to control the conversation with her anger. She tends to see slights where there are none, and if she felt unloved or criticized because of my words or actions she would find something to nitpick about to take out her anger on me.
She did a lot of fucked up things but would rather have a victim attitude and take no responsibility. I escaped into different media and my hobbies. Overall I ended up very independent and am usually cool headed in contrast to what I grew up with. Also I think I put a high value on politeness in a weird way? I don't like crossing people's boundaries or not making space for them in conversations. I want to be fair. I'm extra respectful towards kids because of how I was treated when I was one.

 

[The Cat]

 

[anticlimatic]

used to a lot of time to myself, rarely get bored, and don't like being micromanaged.

Check, check, doublecheck.

 

[Lark]

Some threads are just creepy...

 

[highlander]

And what effect did it have on your personality?

I grew up in a different era and in a safe neighborhood, so as soon as I was old enough to ride a bike my parents gave me (mostly) free reign to explore as I pleased so long as I was home by dinner or bed. I'd always push the boundaries of my known world, and was often rewarded with remarkable discoveries that I could call my own- old ponds, walkways, and on one occasion a magnificent abandoned hotel rotting away in what felt like the middle of nowhere. I think it taught me independence, how to rely on tools/mecha for survival, and how to depend on myself. It also imbued me with a penchant for exploration that has endured through my ghost-town hunting adulthood.

Whats your story?

I had much the same experience. There were some limits when I was in the first and second grade but I recall riding my bike everywhere. I also lived near the downtown in my town, so I spent time in just about every single store there. I did a fair amount of walking. I knew every inch of my town of 20,000 people because I spent so much time riding my bike or walking, even recalling who had what kind of trees people had. I knew each of the neighboring towns reasonably well too. There was a pond where I used to catch tadpoles. One year I had to do an insect collection for eighth grade. You had to start early or you would never catch enough bugs to get an A, so that was a fun summer catching every kind of insect I could find (I got an A-). I was close to a shipping canal that was built in the early 1900s and there was a trail running along that with plenty of exploring to do as well. Then there were all kinds of forest preserves, so the bike rides as I got in my teens got longer with one popular place which was a set of toboggan slides that I never went on but visited there enough times

Then I would build rockets and fly them as a kid as well. I grew up to be fairly independent I suppose and the neighborhood was relatively safe. It probably wasn't as safe to be riding such long distances on those busy roads but I was pretty careful about it.

 

[Tilt]

I got C-PTSD from the first few years but after that had a good amount of freedom. I got adopted into the luxury of a upper middle class family and was able to go on trips and got most things I needed and wanted. Overall, the rules were kinda strict and lax. No cuss words. No MTV or South Park. No premarital sex, drugs, underage drinking. No violent video games. But also at the same time, pretty lenient punishments. Thanks, INFP mom, lol.

 

[anticlimatic]

Imagine being 12 years old and pedaling up to a cracked cement drive blocked by a single old drooping chain, seeing what looked like an old artisan fountain way back in some overgrowth by some kind of building- then glancing up at the tree cover, then above the tree cover- and noticing the tower floor of this place looking down on you with black window eyes and rot stains running down from the sills. The roof was bright red, I remember. Went as far as the fountain, but never had the courage to go inside.

I think it ultimately made a stephen king fan out of me.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I did *not* have freedom of religion
Had freedom about where and when to go
Freedom to spend my time with silent activities at my home, or other activities outside
Could pursue academic and artistic interests as far as I were able, as well as sports
Were able to meet kids in social activities with little to no restrictions
Sexual freedom was restricted to what was suitable for a kid in our parents opinion. It turned out okay. So maybe there is a point that parents don't let their offspring shag around. Who would have known?
Did not have freedom of speech

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I had freedom in the sense that my mother was absent, but we were not privileged. Eventually, this led to the enabling of my skipping so much school that my high school GPA was zero-point-something and I had accumulated 7 truancy tickets (or was it 9?). I ended up having to graduate through an alternative program because it was not possible for me to earn my diploma. Before then though, I was "free" enough to swim 4 blocks up a river at age 10 or so, completely unsupervised.

I was never terribly social and certainly not popular, but I did spend a great deal of time with the couple friends I did have, always at their house. Looking back on it this very moment, I realize that I was just wanting to be in a "normal" household seeing "normal" family dynamics. I suddenly just realized that my friends' parents probably sensed the dysfunction and thus were more welcoming toward me (I really was away from home an awful lot).

In short, if neglect is freedom, then I was free falling.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I grew up with a single mother who had certain areas of being paranoid and overprotective. She was very protective of anything involving dating or relationships. Other than that, she tended to be overwhelmed a lot, and I remember my sister and I rode around on a bike we shared. In late elementary to junior high, we were not supervised much, but it was smaller towns, generally. We moved around almost every year. My childhood was chaotic, but I didn't think of myself as being controlled. My mother was very childlike herself and we would giggle and be silly a lot. She also had a paranoid disorder which cast a dark shadow and her fears would cause her to be different. She almost had multiple personalities. Her fears were connected to religious ideas and relationships with people.

 

[highlander]

I just wanted to mention that this is a really good and interesting thread idea

 

[anticlimatic]

I had freedom in the sense that my mother was absent, but we were not privileged. Eventually, this led to the enabling of my skipping so much school that my high school GPA was zero-point-something and I had accumulated 7 truancy tickets (or was it 9?). I ended up having to graduate through an alternative program because it was not possible for me to earn my diploma. Before then though, I was "free" enough to swim 4 blocks up a river at age 10 or so, completely unsupervised.

I was never terribly social and certainly not popular, but I did spend a great deal of time with the couple friends I did have, always at their house. Looking back on it this very moment, I realize that I was just wanting to be in a "normal" household seeing "normal" family dynamics. I suddenly just realized that my friends' parents probably sensed the dysfunction and thus were more welcoming toward me (I really was away from home an awful lot).

In short, if neglect is freedom, then I was free falling.

I barely graduated high school myself for different reasons. Ti-dom independent streak caused me to clash with authority figures a little harder than the average teenager, and it ultimately got me expelled from one school half way through my senior year, and sent to another school for the remainder- which seemed pointless to me. I was well over high school by then, had no roots in the new school to lean on, had a 300 dollar car that worked, and could almost never summon the gumption to show up for class. Ended up graduating at some point in the summer after working with the principal to come up with some kind of bare-minimum credit juke and a summer assignment. Does everyone get to that point somewhere in high school when they're just....over it?